Sarah flickered her eyes up to her husband as he brushed past her. She could tell he was angry, but she didn’t have the heart to ask him why. She focused her eyes back towards her computer screen.
The cursor continued to blink on the blank white page. She’d been stuck on the next chapter of her novel for what felt like months. She knew that whatever writer’s block she was having she needed to write her way through it.
Writing was her passion, her dream, her calling. She read over the last few sentences of her last chapter before she continued writing,
Chapter 15 (Is This It?) Baker couldn’t believe her boyfriend left without saying goodbye. I mean he did, but it felt forced. She could see the planes fly as she sat near one of the airport windows. Her boyfriend Simon had changed-
“Sarah? Wake up. Honey?” Sarah opened her eyes and was confused. Her head was pressed against her computer’s keyboard. She sat up and cranked her neck. Her back was going to be sore, but hopefully not for long.
“What are you doing?”
Sarah swiveled around in her chair and looked to her husband “Huh?” she rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes.
“You’ve been asleep for hours.”
“Really? I know I was just working on this chapter.” Sarah gazed at her screen with only a few words written.
“Do you need any help?”
“How can you help?” Sarah squinted at her husband.
“Remember when you began to write your first book?”
Sarah laughed briefly and said, “That was ages ago.”
“I know. But, you used to read to me what you wrote and the ideas for the next part which you hadn’t written would just pour out of you.”
“I don’t think I’m in the mood.”
“I just know you don’t wanna go back to working at the office.”
“Of course not!” Sarah clenched her hand on the arm of her chair. She just stared at him. Who was her husband? “You think I can’t do this?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I just think you need to go back to why you started writing.”
“Chris. I know why. Writing to me is like the oxygen I need to live. It’s what I was created for. I’m just having a rough patch.”
Sarah shook her head and turned back to her computer. She reread her work over and over, but she could think of nothing else to write. “What happened?”
“Are you talking to me?” Chris said in confusion.
“Yes. When I was in the hospital what happened?”
“Well, you would cry and you were so confused. Then after a few moments, you would pass out. Other times I would walk into the room you would be staring at the ceiling. You would turn and look at me and then close your eyes.”
“I never said anything?”
“No.”
Sarah knew that to finish the chapter and ultimately her book, she had to pull from her life. “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Telling me about what happened. It feels like I won’t be able to write again. What can I even write about?”
“Start something new.”
“I can’t. My readers are depending on me.”
Sarah sighed, stood up and left her computer and desk. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this unsure of myself,” she said sitting in the recliner beside Chris.
“I just…” Sarah felt her eyes well up with tears then she continued “I’ve just lost a piece of myself and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find it again.”
Sarah cried to herself and she was glad that Chris wasn’t comforting her, “and our baby, I can’t deal with that. It all just seems too much.” Sarah closed her eyes, hoping that things would get better.
“Sarah, things like this are going to take time. Whatever you need I’m here for you.” She felt her husband gently squeeze her shoulder before feeling his presence leave the room.
As she began to drift to sleep she hoped things would start looking up.
*One Week Later*
Sarah was up before her alarm as it read nine a.m. The past few days she had so much energy. Not that she still wasn’t getting sick. But only about three times a week. She poured herself a cup of hot tea and walked outside to her patio.
As she shut the door it creaked. She hated that sound. Sarah hoped it wouldn’t wake up her husband who was sleeping in. The wind was gentle and the snow was melting. The weather was unusual for February. A few birds were chirping in some of the trees which were towering above her apartment.
As she drank her tea her mind wandered back to her character in her novel Baker. She knew she needed to know Baker as if she was a real person. So Sarah closed her eyes and continued the chapter as if Baker and her world were reality.
Her boyfriend Simon had changed so much over the years. Of course, people change Baker knew that. Simon had become so distant and cold hearted.
Baker heard a couple arguing with each other in the terminal, she tried to block out the words they spewed out to one another, but she couldn’t help but overhear parts of their conversation.
“How could you make us late?”
“It wasn’t my fault there was traffic.”
“There’s always traffic this time of day. I sat and waited in the car for you for how long?”
“We can take another flight.”
“I know but if I don’t get to see my father before he passes away I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”
Baker frowned at the woman’s words. Her heart ached for them and she could relate in some way or another.
“Sarah?”
Sarah opened her eyes and turned to the entryway of her patio to see a woman standing there. “Holly!” Sarah almost leaped from her chair then she hugged her sister. “You look great,” Sarah said smiling at Holly.
“Thanks. A shower and some good food helped.” Holly said with a laugh then continued “And how are you and the baby?”
“We’re great.” Sarah placed a hand on her growing bump.
“How far along are you?”
“Four months,” Sarah said than finished her tea.
“You wanna head inside? The wind’s picking up.”
“Sure.”
The two women walked into the living room and sat across one another at the dining room table.
“I have to tell you about this man I’m seeing.”
“Who?” Sarah was happy for her sister. She could see the joy dancing in Holly’s eyes. Sarah hoped that this man was a great companion to Holly.
“He’s just a wonderful guy. We traveled a lot and-”
“Ladies. I’m heading out do you need anything?” Chris said zipping up his jacket and grabbed a little notebook and pen from his desk.
“Where are you going?”
“I was called into work to see an emergency client.”
“Okay honey. And no I’m fine. Holly what about you?” Sarah had a feeling in her gut that something was off.
“I can’t think of anything now.”
“Alright see you both later.”
“Please make sure the door’s locked,” Sarah said quietly.
“I will. Bye.”
Sarah briefly smiled at her husband before turning back to Holly. and said “So about this man. I need to know all the details.”
“Well, his name is Victor.”
“I know a Victor and I don’t hear that name too often,” Sarah said with a frown.
“The Victor I know is so sweet and caring.”
“What’s his last name?”
“Waterstein. One night he had a bit too much to drink. I remember he told me his last name. Then he started crying and said he was sorry over and over. That was a weird night.”
“Holly? I’m going to show you something and I need you to be honest with me.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
Sarah didn’t bother to answer her sister as she left the table went to her desk and found the document she needed. Even though she knew Holly could see the picture just fine from her computer, there was something so final about printing Victor’s photo and information about his counseling services on a tangible piece of paper.
“Can you tell me if this is Victor?” Sarah said in a shaky voice and handed the piece of paper to Holly.
“Yes…that’s him. How did you get this?”
“He’s my therapist. Well, he was.”
“Are you sure we’re talking about the same man?”
“I’m positive.”
“Victor isn’t a therapist.”
“What does he do?” Sarah tried to hold her tongue. Maybe her mind was going hazy with everything going on.
“He’s an explorer.”
“An explorer? That’s a job?”
“That’s what he called himself anyway. Whenever we would travel to another town or a barely used hiking trail he would take photos of the surroundings.”
“Did he ever show you the photos or where they went?”
“No. But I remember his blog is called The Lonely Traveler. Have you talked to him? I haven’t seen him in over a month.”
“I’ve seen him a number of times. The last time I saw him he broke into David’s condo.”
“What?”
Sarah could tell her sister was starting to get anxious. “Why don’t we call David? I’m sure we can get this all straightened out.” Sarah said not only to calm Holly down but to hopefully find out if it was the same Victor they both knew.
*A Few Hours Later*
Hours had gone by and Chris still wasn’t home. Even though Sarah was a little concerned her husband was a grown man and was able to make his own decisions. She and Holly were mindlessly watching a movie and chatting about random things.
“Did I tell you I was going to get married?” said Holly.
Sarah raised her eyes and turned to face her sister and said “No you didn’t.”
“Well, Victor told me that when he would return we were going to be married. Holly Waterstein I like the sound of that.”
“Did you know him long?”
“A few months. But that doesn’t matter to me. He understands me. He completes me.”
“No man can complete you.”
“You’ve said that to me before.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
“That’s good. I just want to make su-”
Sarah heard a knock on the door and glanced through the peephole. She couldn’t believe who was standing on the other side.
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