Your intro is to simple. Try to go into greater detail, and don't try to go straight into the point. Give your characters a bit more life. I think you should continue the story though because to be honest I completely love the premise of it. Good luck and if you need any help let me know.

@___Ricky__, thanks for replying. I know the intro is simple but I didn't want to explain too much. Should I explain more of the characters life in the prologue? Or more of the history of Lophanis? Both things?

@C.K. Dürant, Try to explain the backstory of the characters in the prologue. Give readers something to become invested in, and in the next part that's when you tie in Lophanis. Try to reveal it's history slowly to so that way you can create a sense of wonder and get readers curious to learn more.