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Young Adult
Fight to Forget

Ever wish you could figure out what was going to happen next? What your mom will make for dinner, which lego set will not have missing parts, or what are you going to get for Christmas. Or important things like is my friend going to be okay, will i get hurt doing this, or what is going to happen to my life a year from now.

Don't, please don't ever wish this on yourself. Please, it is not amazing, cool, or hardly even useful. I dream what will happen, a day, a week, a month, who knows how long. Perhaps it is a few seconds, or it's an hour long. Most dreams i never remember until it actually plays out. There are however a few, very few, that stay with me through the night, sitting inside my head until i realize that they are there. They wait until their brother comes up someday, and then they leave.

The human mind wasn't created to see the future. If there was, I wouldn't be writing this. It hurts for your mind to reach out into the featureless wall that is the future. I say that because it is a wall, no gaps, no doors, no windows. Crystal balls, mirrors, cards, and fortune-telling are all false, tricks and guessing. There is nothing that can penetrate that wall.

My mind found a way to jump it though. Maybe teleportation happens in the psyche and not space-ships. My conscience jumps past the wall, and lands in the garden. From there it brings back a seed from the garden. But that seed can be dropped, lost on the way back to the body; these are the ones I don't remember. Perhaps they find a place to grow, maybe they will grow in the wall. Even rocks can be split by the roots of trees. Maybe someday the roots of those seeds will tear down the wall.

There is a cost to jumping that wall. Headaches, depression, and more. Sometimes my mind revolts, and refuses to sleep and jump the wall. The worst though, is when it brings back things that should be left in the future. Ways to cheat life, events that lose their surprise, information that shouldn't be known yet.

Imagine watching your wife or husband die, and the next day you meet them for the first time. Knowing every detail of how your friend will hurt you, weeks before they ever will.

I fight. I fight to forget. For my friends. For my family. For you, if need be. Ignorance is bliss, and knowing is pain. I will fight to forget you. I will fight to forget it all.