實在是個很難三言兩語說完的話題。446Please respect copyright.PENANAH6a6SrsnpM
當一件事情已經深深融入了生命,而且被再三思考過它的存在意義,到突然要我去把它描述出來,實在有點反應不來,深怕言之無物,又怕糟蹋了剖析它的機會。446Please respect copyright.PENANAzwzknrmKdd
形容生命的本質本來就是一種消耗生命的活動。446Please respect copyright.PENANARPHdM88YIo
對於一個生命力脆弱的我,談論寫作實在是在玩火,不過姑且就引火自焚一次吧!446Please respect copyright.PENANAXyyZaVZXaB
***446Please respect copyright.PENANAsbNlhW52cW
第一次寫作的嘗試是在小一的時候,那時候寫了一個個小故事在紙片上,同學們竟賞面如圖書館借書般借閱去了,這是我第一次遇見愛說故事的謊言領主。446Please respect copyright.PENANAOl6UfbWvbc
謊言領主給了我兩條路,畫畫或者寫作,對比起來寫作實在容易上手得多,於是就寫作吧!446Please respect copyright.PENANAvchZkj8LjA
它無害的笑容實在吸引,有誰能抵抗它的誘拐呢?446Please respect copyright.PENANA9z02YqquqE
那時我還未有精神健康的問題,創作的過程是愉悅的,生命的一切都看似美好和無毒。446Please respect copyright.PENANAKJAugsfILx
然而某日,我心裡的某個零件就停止了轉動,壞掉了,從齒輪中離群,一下掉入了水底,水都黑了,深黑到無窮之中。446Please respect copyright.PENANAp4nfAAUkoL
突然之間,寫作向我揭示了它的本體。446Please respect copyright.PENANASaelkIzgVC
突然之間,寫作變得很難。446Please respect copyright.PENANAWQLK4tWSjc
我現在寫作一篇五千至一萬字的短篇故事,大概需要半年的時間,當中觸及的創傷太嚴重,無力詳述,只得簡化為如下規律:446Please respect copyright.PENANApbeNA8maSZ
想到好玩的點子446Please respect copyright.PENANAfglTOf6fB4
開始下墜了。446Please respect copyright.PENANAtNoUPn3h7i
搜集資料446Please respect copyright.PENANAIi4sA2SNcH
然後我越墜越深。446Please respect copyright.PENANAzFyqni3SVG
開始寫作446Please respect copyright.PENANA3qFJ8jrbhP
痛苦,掙扎,否定自己,長期處於脫力狀態,床上痛哭,孤立自己,夜夜惡夢,再痛哭,感覺自己很髒 …… 446Please respect copyright.PENANAcL5039siIb
太髒了 ……446Please respect copyright.PENANAPv7Wu0MlcF
為甚麼你沒有死?446Please respect copyright.PENANAmmzOWnISE0
寫作結束446Please respect copyright.PENANABqEKRzrqUl
從六個月的低落中回彈,突然覺得自己是無所不能的,不用睡覺也很精神。446Please respect copyright.PENANAqSvSEFRtw3
可惜寫作為我帶來的快樂只能保質三天。446Please respect copyright.PENANAmBEo9tREYp
然後又是下一個迴圈了。446Please respect copyright.PENANA6awNFEdjHw
***446Please respect copyright.PENANAa1uHX6rdgP
你說寫作是救了我還是在殺死我呢?446Please respect copyright.PENANADy7gdWguHH
但我已離不開了你呢!愛說故事的謊言領主。446Please respect copyright.PENANAH4nyu2tWWc
我成為了社工碩士,再計劃將來在精神病專業上進攻博士學位,大概都是為了瞭解人心,為了故事。446Please respect copyright.PENANA7WbzsP0Ezo
同時為了我的死亡。446Please respect copyright.PENANA2Jq6xEc6Ng
寫作即是自我毀滅。446Please respect copyright.PENANAUSiJFzV3dq
我別無出路。446Please respect copyright.PENANAzRqV5BBSwH