Glossary (Malayalam to English to Hindi)
Valiya amma - Father's elder brother's wife (Hindi: tai)
Valiya achan - Father's elder brother (Hindi: tau)
Chettathi - Husband's elder brother's wife (Hindi: jethani)
Mal'akh - 'angel' in Judaism
“Zemirah, it’s time that you started packing your clothes. We have to set out by eight tomorrow, there won’t be time later on.”
“Yeah, mom. Just let me complete this section, there won’t be time later on.”
I was working on my latest comic book, and I needed to complete it by half before I left for Mumbai tomorrow. I had a break between my freelancing projects, so Mom had taken the full opportunity of booking the entire weekend for her holiday. It was annoying all right, but I simply couldn’t let her go alone – can I? I know that she was perfectly capable of travelling alone in Mumbai, but I simply could not leave her to her own devices. I needed to be in the loop, had to be updated minute-by-minute regarding what was going in Mom’s life. Before you call me a control freak, let me tell you – I am anything but a control freak. In fact, you’ll find me to be one of the most chill people around you. However, Mom once had a huge problem with those who colour their hair or get tattoos done. Next, she would pass rude comments about young couples holding hands or kissing on a park bench – which includes all kinds of couples in the world. Moreover, she didn’t understand or accept the LGBTQ community, whereas I believed that as long as the people concerned are happy, we’re happy. To be honest, none of us is entitled to comment on other people’s lives, because we haven’t walked a mile in their shoes. Also, she had a problem with those who were not into a life of prayer – which includes not accepting the fact that her own daughter is a hardcore atheist.
Of course, things are progressing in the right direction at the moment and I hope that continues. Mom could be really, really backward in some things, you know.
Fast-forward to the Mom of today, those who’ve known since years will speak of a massive difference in her today. She now tries to accept people the way they are and has realised that nobody is born perfect. In fact, she has realised that you don’t even need to be perfect and that you don’t have to worry about what other people think about you. As long as you know that you’re right, and you’re willing to fight for your own destiny – the society can go and die in a ditch. Of course, that doesn’t mean that Mom has become an absolute mal’akh– more like, she has changed herself to a more human form rather than a supernatural being. And, I’m kinda proud of myself for contributing to that.
However, Mom is only humans and she has her bad days like everyone else. She still loses her temper at everything, but she does try her best to control that as much as possible. It’s not easy to change one’s own personality, because they make up so much of you – right?
Sometimes, things just happen that make you fly off the handle.363Please respect copyright.PENANATQVnGIgDW9
“Zemirah, it’s late. You haven’t packed this one…”
I looked at the small purple bag Mom was waving at me.
“Mom, it has my toothpaste and toothbrush… and other hygiene items. I’m gonna need them tomorrow, right?”
“Oh, well. Remember to pack them in tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
“Have you decided what you’re going to wear tomorrow?”
“Not yet, what would you suggest?”
Mom looked at a set of my clothes neatly folded on the bed and picked a white top with blue roses and a pair of dark jeans.
“This looks good.”
“Mmm, okay.”
“What do you think I should wear?”
“I don’t know, wear anything you like?”
Mom looked at the pile of clothes on the bed and shook out a yellow salwar-kameez with its matching red dupatta. It was her favourite outfit (and she considered it to be very lucky), and she wore it only on the most special occasions. And, this could be one of her most special moments ever. Tomorrow was the day she was going to live the life of the dreams. It was the day that she would truly be free.
“I think that I should go with this, it is a special day tomorrow. What do you think?”
I looked at it.
“Looks good. Wear it tomorrow.”363Please respect copyright.PENANAKtp19ksCkV
That was one of the best things about Mom, she would take some things very seriously – her self-pride, her reputation and her decision-making power. Ever since her childhood and her marriage to my father, she had never been allowed to say a word in our family decisions. She was intelligent, she was perceptive and she was emotional in the right places – but she had always been silenced. I guess that it has always been like that for the women of our society – our job was to simply take care of the household and produce one child after another. God forbid if we spoke a word about handling the finances in a better manner. After all the hardships that we have been through, Mom deserved some happiness in life.
And I was the one who would make sure that she gets it.
She had always sheltered me against the suffocating atmosphere of our patriarchal culture and allowed me to follow my own heart. She let me pursue a Diploma in Comic Art despite fierce opposition from my family to get me married off after I completed my graduation (I hold a Bachelor’s degree in Visual Media). Since she wasn’t easily allowed to pursue her dreams, she made sure that I established myself as a comic-book artist yet work a regular job side-by-side. Despite her authoritative nature, she had indeed always wanted the best for me… sadly, the people around her did not always realise it in time.
Just like my valiya amma. She was one of those women who could never understand Mom’s passion for her subject, school and continuous learning. She was painfully dependent on my valiya achan, and did not step out of the house without his permission. Dressed in traditional saris with flowers in her hair, she catered to all the members of the family without complaint. Since my childhood, I have believed that she was secretly jealous of Mom’s independence and zest for life, and always tried to push her into trouble. After all these years, she knew that it was pointless trying to harass Mom in front of the family, she would always try to get back at her in secret.
Like just a few moments back.363Please respect copyright.PENANAdmYK9s9M8Y
“So, going on a holiday… are we?”
We turned our heads to see valiya amma looking at us through the open door. We lived in a traditional joint family setting, where privacy could sometimes be something of an issue. She was dressed in a simple nightdress, indicating that it was her time for bed, but she hadn’t had her daily dose of entertainment yet.
Mom got up to her, suddenly wary and tensed.
“You needed something, chettathi?”
Valiya amma entered the room and sat down on the bed. She took a look at the bed, and finally caressed the yellow salwar-suit laid out on the bed.
“You only wear this on special occasions, and tomorrow is a special day for you… isn’t it?”
Mom didn’t reply, but kept on folding her clothes.
Her opponent began again.
“Don’t you really think about the consequences of your actions, Lovebird?”
“No, I don’t. I’m not doing anything wrong… instead, I’m taking control of my own life.” Mom looked at her opponent and said, “Something that you should have done long ago, you know. That could have kept you more productive rather than poking your nose into my personal matters.”
Valiya amma’s face hardened at the reaction.
“Also, chettathi. You are not allowed to call me by that name. No matter what Malkiel and I had between us, you can’t taunt me by using his name for me.”
Her opponent took that as her next opportunity.
“Yes, as if you’re honouring him with your gallivanting about at the moment.”
Oops.
Mom’s expression changed suddenly.
“You will take that back, woman.”
Valiya amma narrowed her eyes.
“Oh, did I touch a nerve?”
I rose up. This was slowly getting out of hand.
“Valiya amma, why do you always have to bring up the past? Whatever has been in the past, well, it’s over now. Is there any point in blaming amma for what my father did?”
She fell silent.
“You know what,” I continued. “I think it’s time that you went to bed. We have a lot to do, and we really don’t your negativity around here.”
Of course, she didn’t stop. Instead, she turned my defence statement into another chance to berate Mom.
“And, this is how you’ve raised your daughter?” Valiya amma looked at me with some disdain. “How dare she raise her voice against her aunt?”
Mom thought for a moment and replied n a low voice.
“You see, chettathi. I’ve raised my daughter as an independent young woman who can speak her own mind. She has completed her studies in a field she is interested in and wants to make a career out of. Of course, she sometimes does things that I don’t always approve of… but those are her lifestyle choices. I can guide her, but I can’t control her.”
She gave me a look and continued, “And, she’s right for once. It’s time you went to bed, we really have a lot to do.”
Valiya amma clearly wasn’t impressed. She tied her hair back, not willing to give up without a fight.
“Of course. A low, cheap woman like you can only raise a foul-mouthed, ill-mannered girl like her.”
SMACK!
Mom had been bearing insults from the rest of the family ever since everything happened, but she could never tolerate anything being said against her daughter.
Valiya amma looked terrified as she held her hand to her cheek. Never had she imagined in her wildest dreams that Mom would actually raise her hand at her.
“Never speak about my daughter like that, I warn you.”
Her opponent left the room in silence, her hand still nursing her wounded cheek.
As she disappeared around the corner, Mom dropped down to the floor in exhaustion.363Please respect copyright.PENANAol1eKKDwqq