~past tense~
February
We walk together down to the small wooden boat house. He helps me onto the boat and follows on after me. When he starts it up, I smile looking at him watching him. I reflect on how much has changed since we first got in this boat together just days ago. I feel like holding onto him, never letting him go, surely this is not healthy. I wouldnt consider myself to be a particularly clingy person overall until now. It is unnerving, part of me is holding onto my normal sense of independence but the majority is clinging onto the person I am becoming with him. The person that yearns for his physical contact and his affection.
Once we're on the stretch back he puts his arm around me holding me next to him and I'm relieved.51Please respect copyright.PENANAVLr7zIxZO6
"This has been so nice" I say looking up at him.51Please respect copyright.PENANAyDB6uPXU90
"Thanks for taking me here" I smile.
He kisses my lips.51Please respect copyright.PENANACddapfttOx
"Thank you for coming and being with me" he says.
Once we get off the boat and he securely locks it up on the other side of the vast lake we walk back towards the car. The time is going too fast and I don't want to go back to normality. He holds my hand through the surrounding forest. We laugh and talk about what university is going to be like tomorrow.51Please respect copyright.PENANAuOtArWLcjq
"I've decided by the way, we should just kiss each other in front of everybody and then see what kind of shit storm that causes" I say. I want everybody to know I'm with him. Maybe that isn't fair, but that is how I feel. I do think about Matty and how he will feel about that, will he be angry, betrayed even. I try to put myself in his shoes, if I was awaiting his return and he came into uni with another girl I would feel heartbroken. I don't want to hurt him.
Ross my brain chucks at me whilst I'm walking back to my life. It's painful, thinking about him, his soft face and how he will look at me. Ross, my safe haven and best friend and the person that cared for me when I was down. Even with him I couldn't stop thinking about Matty. I couldn't operate normally or like myself again. I glance up at Jay and with him I feel like myself again. Healed and new. I haven't thought about anything but him and us since we came out here. I should always have naturally become this person, with him. This progression is inevitable.
He laughs, "Okay done" he says. And then he kisses me again slowly.51Please respect copyright.PENANAG7PhwTVIDG
After he breaks away I'm left breathless. My skin yearns for him, like it's reaching out for him. 51Please respect copyright.PENANAS7RA2p6w0v
"Even if I kiss you like that" he smiles.
"Yea I was planning on it" I laugh.
After a few more paces we're at the car. The car is fine no damage and it hasn't been stolen. I guess this is an area where people don't need to steal other peoples things. He drives us home and I notice on the way back it seems to take less time to get to the apartment. We park up and head to the elevator. He presses the button and we head up. Next thing I know we're on his sofa. He stuffed the bags on the floor by the elevator pulled his shirt off and physically carried me to the sofa kissing my lips laughing.
"Oh shit I haven't got anything to wear tomorrow" I laugh looking at him.
"Order for same day delivery" he says stroking my back.
"You are crazy with money Gilbert" I laugh using his middle name.
"Hey I told you my name out of pure trust and confidence" he says.
"It's cute" I laugh.
"I'm glad you think so, but yeah order some stuff that you can just keep here" he says smiling.
I smile at him and he kisses me again. He pulls out the iPad and hands it too me. He switches on the tv keeping me close in his lap. I flick through the clothes online and find a pair of jeans, skirts and tops. I've got my jacket and boots and my bag with my uni stuff. I also browse the lingerie and he smiles down at me. He adds a few of his own suggestions in and I put them in the basket too. He looks at the total.51Please respect copyright.PENANA11yP5t6JZs
"Only £180" he smiles.51Please respect copyright.PENANAkcvSGYD2yR
"I thought you'd spend more, add a toothbrush and whatever makeup and stuff you like. Ohh and a hairdryer I don't have one of those" he says.
"Jay are you sure? I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage" I say softly.
"You take advantage of me !?" He laughs.
"No it's all good, I was just assuming that you would be here more often now" he smiles at me.
"Me too" I say and he rubs my hips smiling. He's getting distracted by the tv and it makes me smile. He's got some action movie on and hes stroking my waist at the same time, his fingertips drawing lines up my side. I rest the iPad on his chest. Once I've added everything the delivery says it will arrive in 2hrs or by 5pm whatever's earliest. I sigh thats beyond my expectations, I don't shop online loads and it baffles me how much you can get in such short notice.51Please respect copyright.PENANACnETKOHTqj
"It's set up to my card" he smiles at me.
We send the order through and it has a tracker which lets you know it's progress.
"Now what do you want for dinner" I ask him putting the IPad aside.
He bites his lip smiling. It dawns on me that I've never actually seen him this happy.51Please respect copyright.PENANATV3rhOvTE2
"You're actually smiling loads" I say to him stroking his face with my hands.
"I have waited for an age to have you here with me like this. Sitting in my lap and being able to touch you and kiss you and it feeling right. I like having you to myself" he smiles.51Please respect copyright.PENANAw6fBvXiWVE
"I would like to cook for you, you've literally done so much for me this weekend and I would like to attempt to repay you with my cooking and other skills" I say suggestively.
"Taylor Elena Harris you give me everything by being here and existing in my life. However if you would like to cook me some of your delicious food and kiss me all night long then I'm definitely not objecting" he smiles looking into my eyes.
I smile at him, wondering where this wonderful charming man came from.
"Jay Gilbert Scott you are actually surprisingly a really loving nice person why did you hide that before. It's like I'm discovering you for the first time." I say brushing his arms. His chest is bare and I climb off of him before I start kissing him again.
I head into the kitchen sorting through the cupboards. He hangs in the doorway smiling. He fills the height of the door frame. He's like a viking God.
"Lamb curry ?" I say.
"Perfect" he smiles.
51Please respect copyright.PENANAwbIxNH3JNv