~past tense~
"He is stable Taylor. He's breathing and will be fixed up" Matty reassures me for the third time. Ross has gone to get some drinks from the hospital shop downstairs. I'm waiting outside Jay's room.
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Matty pulls me into an embrace and I dont fight him. I rest my head in his neck and cry. He rubs my side like he used too.
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"Shh." He says.
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"Thank you" I look up at him.
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"If you hadn't of intervened I'm not sure they would have stopped. And for taking us here" I say.
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We had to walk past the maternity clinic on the way in here and I kept my head down and securely away from glancing in. Myself and Matty heard our unborn childs heart beat in the clinic. We also lost our child here following a miscarriage. Once we left we were not the same again.
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"Matty" I say softly feeling all of those things again clearly.
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"Taylor" he says and he's the same man I knew before.
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"I haven't been able to unpack everything because it hurts" I tell him.
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"From the bags you packed I mean and I found your shirt and it brought up a lot of stuff for me" I say.
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"When I wake up I expect you to be in my arms when I'm half asleep I imagine you and then I wake up and remember" he whispers.
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He kisses my neck very softly and I can feel his breath on my skin. I place my hand on his cheek lightly and he moans slightly against my neck.
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I sigh and hug him tightly. I greedily hold him into me, my arms encompassing him like they used to. Feeling his familiar body next to mine gives me comfort. He sighs and visibly relaxes. Then I release him.
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He pauses thinking. He strokes my arm lightly.
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"So you love him? How did that happen" he asks softly.
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"He just changed and the weird thing is I knew it was the real him. He is different with me" I say.
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He contemplates and then turns to me "I will always hold onto you. I will not turn you away ever. I wouldn't even be able too." He says staring at me holding onto my hands.
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I watch his eyes briefly losing myself. We're quiet for a while, his trusting eyes watching mine.
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"Miss? Is it Taylor? He is awake and asking after you" a nurse says and I jump.
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I hurry into the room. Go over to the bed and kiss him lots of times all over his face. He chuckles.
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"I can't even tell you how annoyed I am but I'm glad you're okay." I say holding his face.
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"I'm sorry" he says rasping.
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"Shh" I say.
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"I'll get a cab to yours for us and I will take care of you" I say stroking his hair.
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"Believe me though Jay, you pull a stunt like that again and I will be so angry with you that I will not be accountable for my actions" I say meaning it.
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"I understand. I'm sorry he's just such a prick. Is he okay though" he laughs slightly.
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I glance at Matty.
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"Yeah man you're off the hook. He's awake, looks worse than you though" Matty laughs.
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He looks at Jay differently, like he would look at Ross.
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"Where is Ross" I laugh.
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Matty smiles ducking his head out of the room to have a look.
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Jay sits up on the side of the bed facing me and I stand between his legs.
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"I can't kiss you without hurting your lips" I say.
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He lightly brushes his lips on mine.
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"I'm on painkillers" he laughs.
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I laugh kissing him again my hand going through his hair.
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"You're gonna have a black eye. Did you need stitches?" I ask between kissing him.
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"Yep three in my forehead" he laughs lifting his hair up.
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"I gotta tell you, that walk over to him and telling him to get out like that, and being all dominant was fucking hot." I laugh. He stands and grasps my hand in his.
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"Oh really" he says as we're walking.
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We walk out of the room and see Ross and Matty approaching. They've got drinks and I smile.
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"Sorry it took so long" Ross smiles at me.
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"Thanks Ross" I sip mine.
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"Hmmm that's like a hug in a cup" I say breathing out normally finally.
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I ordered us a cab and Matty takes Ross back to his place. Nobody bothers with Nate maybe that's a bit bad of us. I tried to be nice to him before, offering him home cooked food and look where that got me. He truly is somebody I never want to see again. Which is problematic because I live next door to him.
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Whilst we're in the elevator up to the apartment. I remind myself that I have all of my goodies here and new clothes that Jay bought me so I'm all good for uni tomorrow. I smile. Happy to be here and feeling at home.
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"Ohh what's that look for" he says
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"I'm just happy, to be here with you and I feel like excited about it all" I say feeling lame.
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He pulls me into an all encompassing hug.
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"You telling me I have to get into scraps more often in order to get you here" he laughs.
"Joking of course" he snickers.
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I kiss him as we walk out of the elevator slipping my high heels off and leaving them on the floor. He keeps me in his arms and we end up on the sofa my legs firmly around his waist.
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“So you feel at home here then” he says between kissing me.
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“I do yeah” I smile at him.
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“So you can move in here then” he says. He’s so straightforward. He wants something and he gets it. He’s not used to waiting or being told no.
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“Hmm I could” I tease him smiling and slowly kissing his lips.
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“You could and then we could do this every night” he says.
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“Hmmm” I say kissing him.
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“Are you worried about something” he asks me looking into my eyes.
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“No Jay I love you” I tell him and he looks at me smiling.
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“Sooo…” he says.
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“Okay, okay let’s see how it goes me being here but I’ll keep dorms as an option just in case. And plus it’s great having a bed there” I wink at him. I don’t want to face my life and go through my belongings from when I was with Matty.
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“Just in case?” He asks his hands firmly on either side of my hips.
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“Jay what if you get bored of me or you want some space. I can’t just keep running to Ross and living with him.” I say and his face drops a little.
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“I won’t get bored. I never want to be apart from you” he says hands moving up and down.
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I smile at him.
“Me too.” I say
“When I had to leave Matty, I literally had nowhere to go. It made things worse” I say.
“And this is just my way of protecting myself against that” I say to him.
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“But that won’t happen” he says looking at me.
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I kiss him again and he flinches a little at the pain of his lips. The pain medication must be wearing off.
“You can have more pills in half an hour. I’m gonna cook and then you can eat with them. Want your favourite?” I say to him.
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“Mmm I want you” he smiles.
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“Shhh later, what food ?” I say we literally had fajitas earlier and it’s midnight but I know he should eat with the pills.
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He smiles and kisses me.
“Can I have steak please?” He asks sweetly.
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“Of course” I smile and kiss him again.
“Stay here, and I’ll get it ready.” I say and I get the blanket and put it over him.
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“I’m in heaven” he sighs.
I laugh heading into the bedroom to strip and put on his t shirt.