"I'll make lunch" I explain to everybody sitting around the table.
I head to the cooker and start. I figure I'd rather be busy than talking to everybody, plus I can't stop thinking about Jay and mystery blonde girl. And if I sit at the table I've gotta talk to Matty.
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"Can you make fajitas again babe" Nate says calling over to me and I flinch.
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"I'll dice the chicken" Matty says and I jump marginally.
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"Thanks" I say and get to work on the vegetables and onions.
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I glance over at him.
"Did you go out this weekend" I ask. He doesn't need to tell me, he owes me nothing.
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"I was here" he smiles looking up and putting the chicken in the pan. The parties always seem to be at my dorm.
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"Ah okay" I smile back. He leans on the counter watching me add everything else to the pan.
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"Can I ask why you weren't at the party" he says watching me. I stir the pan not looking at him.
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"I was actually with Jay" I say watching the chicken intently.
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"Oh okay." He says and I look over at him.
He catches my eye and smiles. I do remember how I felt about him. I do remember what it felt like to be in love with him.
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He moves just a bit closer and smells the pan. I don't move away, it's a gesture he used to do a lot. It feels natural, it feels normal.
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"It's good" he smiles. I laugh and grab some more seasoning.
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"It needs more" I tell him smiling.
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"Lord, I miss this" he says boldly giving me his best grin. I can't help but smile back. I imagine him, what he would do if we were alone. He keeps my eye contact the whole time, just watching me watching him. I don't think anybody else exists, I can't hear them.
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"We ugh didn't even say goodbye" he whispers.
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"We didn't you're right" I say quietly.
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He turns around to face the counter, shuffling over and stirring the pan I'm currently staring at. He's right next to me now. I can remember how he would touch me, and hold me.
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"We still don't have to" he says quietly like it's a secret.
"I'm not suggesting.." he looks at me. And I know Matty would never settle for me being his bit on the side.
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"Oh you're all here" an unfamiliar voice says. I glance up wondering who she might be. She heads for us, and all I can think is I don't know you? She's tall with mousy hair that reaches her clavicles. I look to Rach and give her a look. Instantly she knows what I'm asking.
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Aria? Aliyah? She mouths, I can't make it out.
I turn back and put the radio on. I'm guessing that's mine and Matty's conversation over.
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"Done stirring the pot?" I ask him smiling.
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"Not at all" he laughs.
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"Matty you have my number don't you" she gushes when she reaches us.
"Why not just message me where you are" she adds.
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He looks completely out of his depth. He scrapes his hair back, how many times have I seen him do that?
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"Hey" I say nicely.
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"Hi? Who the fuck are you ?" I get back. Aria does not place nice with other girls.
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"Wow okay" I say biting my lip. Girls are vicious.
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Ross appears next to me, forever there when I need him. Where the fuck is Jay?
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"No seriously who is this?" She adds eyeing Matty.
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"Don't swear at her" Matty says back seriously.
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"Oh so it's like that, fuck me and then just move on" she sighs.
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"Wanna go smoke?" Ross asks in my ear, eyeing my pan which is nearly done.
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I look up bewildered. Why am I so jealous. I feel so awful, this must be how Matty felt seeing me with Jay.
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"Look I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot" I say offering her an olive branch. She is not right for him.
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"I'm actually not fucking anybody here. So please rest assured we are all good" I say just a touch patronising.
Ross' hand on my back, offering me support. I lean into him.
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"Who is she Matty?" She enquires. She does not quit.
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"I'm right here" I say.
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"You can ask me?" I tell her.
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"This is Taylor, Aria. She is the love of my life. She has been with me a lot longer than you've even known me. So please have some respect and fuck off" he says and my jaw drops.
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I nudge him. More like hit. Is he trying to make enemies for me?
Love of my life. The love of my life, I know he meant that. Nate chuckles over the other side of the room and Aria has just slapped Matty around the face and stormed off whilst I'm pondering the love of my life bomb that Matty just dropped
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I check his face instantly, I don't even think about it. Who would hit a face that angelic and beautiful.
"Are you okay?" I say with his face in my hands.
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"You idiot, you shouldn't have said that. But that is assault. What the fuck" I say confused. Checking his eyes and cheek bones. I get an ice pack because I don't want him swelling up.
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He looks at me with his green eyes and brunette hair. He is so close to kissing me, I know that is what he wants. I know him.
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I stroke his face lightly with my fingertips and he closes his eyes.
“I’m sorry” he says to me.
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“She pretty keen Matthew” I say removing my hand.
For some reason I begin wondering if she’s met his parents, or Kim ?
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He clears his throat.
“It literally was just one time” he explains and I don’t need to hear it.
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“Hey it’s okay.” I say and turn around facing the pan.
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"Ross thanks" I whisper to him and he knows why. He's always there for me whenever there’s a crazy girl launching verbal assaults at me.
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Ross smiles and grabs me a large bowl and I put all of the fajita mix in there.
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"Can you grab me the tortillas" I say to Matty.
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I quickly make the guacamole, and put everything into bowls.
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"Let's talk after" I say to Matty in his ear. Then I sit down with everybody else.
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