"I cannot imagine what I would do without you" I say to Ross sitting in his car.
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My phone pings and I groan. It's Rach.
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Sorry Tay I thought, I dunno what I was thinking really. Love ya, need anything let me know. Heard about the fight from Josh. Hope you're okay.
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I send her a simple text back to reassure her. Then I place my phone on silent. I'm still very drunk. Not even the cold air or the fight sobered me.
"It's rach" I say.
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"Checking we're okay" I say and then look out the window.
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We're quiet for some time, he just drives. I put the postcode into the sat nav and we're heading to the lake house.
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"You deserve the world you know that right" he says quietly.
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"So do you" I say.
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"I love you and I do not want to see you upset" he says.
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"Ross, I'm fine I just don't like it when they fight" I say
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My phone vibrates and I try to ignore it. It's a call from Jay. I answer it.
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"Taylor" he says once it connects.
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"Yes." I reply. I hear him gulp at my curt reply.
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"You nearly home?" He asks cautiously.
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"Almost" I say.
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"Okay get Ross to stay, I've booked a cab" he says
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"Okay" I tell him
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"I love you Taylor" he says, look at me collecting I love yous tonight.
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"I love you but I'm really annoyed with you Jay, you said you wouldn't fight like that again" I blurt out.
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"I know" he says regretfully.
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"You have every right to be angry" he says.
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"Can you put Matty on the phone" I say.
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There's a brief pause. I presume he's handing the phone over.
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"Hey" I hear Matty's voice.
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"Are you okay" I ask.
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"Taylor do not worry about me, I'm fine. Are you okay" he asks softly.
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"Yes fine. I just wanted to check that you were" I say.
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"I am, we're both fine okay" he tells me and I start crying again.
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"I was fucking scared okay that you were going to seriously hurt each other" I say and I'm blubbering. Ross puts his hand on my thigh
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"Okay shhh its fine. Won't happen again we've agreed on that. So don't cry" he says softly.
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"Okay" I say crying.
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"Okay" he says softly and I can tell he desperately wants to say more.
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"I'll see you soon" he says and we hang up.
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Ross eyes me briefly.
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"Be there in 10" he says looking briefly at the lake.
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"Jays other house" I say quietly.
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"Right" Ross smiles.
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He parks up on the drive and I let him in the front with my key. He can't help but look at how close we are to the lake and our boat.
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"Drink ?" I say tripping a little through the door. Lord I am a mess tonight.
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"Or coffee" I smile recovering.
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"Coffee. But you sit down I'll make it" he laughs watching me walk to the kitchen in my heels. Vodka is a definite no for next time.
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I sit down on the stool in the kitchen. He finds all the stuff he needs and I'm impressed because he has no idea where everything is but he manages just fine without asking me.
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"Come" I say guiding him to the sofas when the coffee is done. He follows me and sits next to me on the sofa.
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I curl up and switch the tv on slipping my heels off and tucking my legs in.
I lean his way and he sighs and rests his arm behind my shoulders. I tuck myself into his side. So much for boundaries. Drinking is my problem, everything goes out the window. All rationale and sense.
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"And you were ready to get rid of me" he whispers softly.
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"I didn't want to get rid of you" I look up at him.
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"I wanted you to forget me so that you didn't have to be there for me. Even though I appreciate you being there, I want you to have somebody there for you." I say to him
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He strokes my side. I lay my head back into his chest.
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"That was an open invitation by the way from Rach" I tell him laughing slightly.
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"I know I didn't realise she even liked me" he says
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"But then I also didn't realise she wanted you so much too" he laughs
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"Ross, she literally propositioned us for a threesome. That's how much girls like you" I say.
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"That was quite something. You two. I've never ever had a threesome" he laughs pushing his hair back and I sigh. He's so beautiful and honest and loyal.
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"Me neither. Hey did you know Nina?" I ask. He will he knows everybody.
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"Yes I didn't know about that but I knew her" he says grabbing his phone.
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"She was with Jay for a while. She wasn't anything special Taylor. They weren't together like you two are" he says and he gets Facebook up.
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He finds her profile and hands me his phone.
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"She went off to study abroad" he says.
Nina Percival-Hammond it says, lives in England, London to be exact. Studying at Oxford, so she was bright. She has longish hair it's mid brown and she has mutual friends with Ross. One of them is Jay.
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I hand him back his phone. I cuddle into him and he strokes my hair. I can always count on Ross to tell me the truth. Eventually I close my eyes and sleep in his arms.
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***Jays POV***
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"You're so fucked" Matty says. He's just hung up on my phone. Taylor, she didn't even say goodbye. My head hurts and my gut is telling me I have some major making up to do.
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I need him to stop being such an obnoxious prick, if I'm going to keep to my side of the bargain and not hitting him.
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"How did you do it?" He asks after a while. His tones changed. I look at him and realise I can't let her leave me. It's eating him up, not having her. Having her to hold every night, to talk to and to make love to. To cherish. I think of her and want her instantly.
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She didn't follow me to the hospital, and I get why. She might leave me, she said no more fighting.
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I look at Matthew and remember our banter, my for all intents and purposes little brother.
"Make her love you." He clarifies
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"I don't know. Clearly she has her feelings all wrong" I say back to him. My fist has begun swelling. I hit him so hard.
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"She fucking loves you of all people. You know I really really wouldn't mind if it was Ross, because he deserves her but you don't Jay. You're going to just use her up and then you'll see some other girl and you will ditch her and hurt her" he says. I never realised how much he hated me.
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"Not true" I say.
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"Oh and I didn't realise you were with both of them at once. That why Nina left you ?" He asks. He just fucking had to.
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"Did she ask you about Nina?" I ask him
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"Yes, good fucking luck. I told her I don't know shit. Yet another girl that loved you and you just ruined it all" he reminds me.
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He gets up and leaves.
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"I'll be there when you fuck up again, dickhead" he says over his shoulder.
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Nina. Nina indeed. I hadn't forgotten her name when Rach asked me earlier. She was nothing like Taylor. She was nothing to me, yes she loved me because I played her but I felt nothing for her.
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Nina thought I was exclusively with her, but I wasn't, I was with Jen at the same time. I saw both of them at once. They weren't aware of that though, I was a dick. I remember it all clearly, I had just had a threesome with Rach and Nina, it was my first ever and last to be fair. Then I needed weed and so I left both of them went to Matty's and saw Taylor for the first time.
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I broke up with Nina the following day. She cried. A lot and I remember wondering why she was so upset over me. I just left her to it. I never liked her enough to care. She was just easy for me.
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I was an unimaginable ass to her, I really treated everybody badly. I do know that now. Why did Rach have to bring it up? Seeing Taylor like that was unreal, I've never come down so hard. It's like Rachel wanted to really hurt me, doing that with my girl in front of me and then mentioning Nina. She must know how that would make Taylor feel ?
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Cabs here and I walk out and slip in. I've bought Taylor stuff from the hospital. Her favourite chocolate and flowers. I've never bought flowers for a girl before. I picked tulips. Fuck knows if she will like them.
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It's the longest drive and I ask the guy if I can light a smoke he agrees and lights his own. He talks to me about his life and I zone out. Thinking about her, my everything waiting for me at home. Jumping to conclusions in her head about Nina and Rach, two girls that meant nothing to me.
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Eventually we arrive at my drive and I notice Ross' car parked up. Even worse will be if she leaves me tonight for him.
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I thank my driver and tip him heading to my door with the flowers and chocolates.
I open up and quietly walk in, the tv is on some action movie and they're on the sofa. I instantly feel jealous, had I of not been such an idiot we could have come home early and done exactly that together.
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"Thanks man" I whisper to Ross so as not to wake Taylor who is sleeping in his arms. I'm so fucking jealous of him. He always does the right thing, he always keeps her safe and happy and he never ever fights anybody.
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She stirs and he lifts his arms so as not to touch her anywhere. She sits up and opens her eyes and grimaces. I instantly go and get some pain pills from the kitchen.
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I hand them to her and she smiles.
"Your hand is swollen" she comments and I sigh.
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"Ross thank you" I say to him as he stands up.
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He heads for the door and she stands and follows him. She's going to leave me. Without a word. Clean break. Like I've done to so many girls. It's only fitting that I receive the same treatment.
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"Thank you" she says and hugs him. She closes her eyes and tears roll down her cheeks. I put my head in my hands, I cannot watch her leave me. I hear the door go and I keep my head down. If I look up and it's empty I might just smash stuff which is totally immature and stupid.
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Minutes later I feel her hands go around my neck, stroking through my hair. I sit up and see her in front of me, wordlessly she climbs on top of me on the sofa, each leg either side of my hips.
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"You're in so much trouble, Jay" she says.
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What is she doing? She's undoing my jeans and the buttons on my shirt and I'm so confused but turned on at the same time.
Relief and excitement rushes through me.
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"But first Jay, before you beg me to forgive you, I need something" she says in my ear. This is a new level of seduction from Taylor, I like it. A lot.
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