9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA11ny7U8nk
~Billie~
Strawberries.
He remembered my favorite fruit, from years ago. Even I barely remember that interaction. Yet he does, word for word. My heart shouldn’t rejoice in that fact. Or the fact he cooked for me, Arwen of all people, made me food. Although my heart is still heavy in my chest I glance at Arwen, who happens to make things a little better.
“Are you guys going to stay here all day?” Luke groans dramatically as he flings open his door. I jump startled and Arwen places a hand on my arm, not entirely sure why but it’s comforting.
“Thanks for knocking,” Arwen states dryly as Luke climbs onto his bed, wedging himself between us like a puppy.
“You know guys, I was thinking we could go grocery shopping.” What? My brows furrow but Luke only grabs a crumpled receipt on Arwen's desk and a random pen.
“Let’s make a list since you’re here.” He gives me a cheesy grin as if I’m not here almost every day.
“I was thinking of making muffins. Cause who doesn’t like muffins?”
“Me,” Nash shouts walking past the door, a towel slung low around his waist. Luke goes to say something but the words are caught in his throat. I watch as his cheeks slowly turn bright pink. Arwen pinches the bridge of his nose but secretly smiles, the tension.
“Anything else Luke?” Arwen inquires of a still speechless luke.
“I uh, nope that's all good.” He scrambles from the bed with a clumsy flop, rushing out. Ashnar shakes his head in amusement as he shoves food down his throat.
“Damn, I cooked some goddamn good eggs.” The words are muffled but I chuckle anyway. I flop back down on the bed trying to keep from thinking.
“Uh, Arwen.” I venture, he glances up, wild box-dyed black hair falling into his face. I swallow, gently tucking it behind his ears out of instinct, and his face turns a brilliant red.
“Hm yeah, what?” He clears his throat, popping a few strawberries in his mouth. I don’t know if I want him to see me still without my mask or let him even further into my personal life. Maybe he’ll leave it just like he did. His name still stings. Bad boys are bad through and through it seems.
“I haven’t visited my brother in a while so I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. You totally don’t have to, I just wanted to ask.” I trail off, rubbing my neck and Arwen's eyes are wide as he stares shamelessly at me. I fidget under the gaze.
“Yeah, I’d love to meet him!” Arwen says slightly shocked yet pumped up about meeting him.
“Great, we'll go after we get ready,” I say, as I get out of bed stretching, a yawn peeling from my lips. I feel his eyes on me like I’m the single most important thing in the world.
“I’m going to go get ready, I’ll be back over in 20.” Arwen nods and gives my head a little pat as he walks by.
“I’ll be waiting!” He shouts as he saunters into the bathroom, a silly grin on his face. Aw jeez. I don’t know what I’d do without him. My bandmates. It still feels weird.
“Billie! I’m coming over with you. I need your advice.” Luke peeks into the room whispering and I roll my eyes but motion us over to my apartment.
“Are you coming over for advice or to eat my food?” I ask as I open my door and he beelines straight to the kitchen. My lungs constrict as heat Othello's door knob jingles. Hell no. Quickly I shut my door, twisting the lock, feeling my heart jump up in my throat. It’s ok, he won’t come in, he won’t hurt you.
“Well, both actually,” Luke says, ruffling through my assorted boxes of crackers and random cans of soup.
“Make yourself at home.” I chuckle, going into my room, remembering how Othello laid down with me when I was sick to make sure I was ok. Yeah, whatever. Sick to my stomach I yank everything off my bed letting it tumble to the floor. Slowly I’m erasing him from my life and soon it’ll be as if he never existed. Only in my mind.
“So, I was thinking of getting a new pet. Don’t get me wrong, lil ham is great but I really want a cat.” Luke startled me appearing behind me as he glances at my messy bed but doesn’t ask questions.
“Well if you get a cat you’d have to clean everything, and how would nash think of it?” I say, pulling out a plain brown skirt, a light green collared sweater, tights, and my dark brown leather jacket.
“Ugh, that’s right. He’d hate having a cat around; he can barely tolerate me.” Luke groans, his shoulders sagging in defeat. Little does he know Nash would do anything for Luke. Anyone with eyes could see that. All except the both of them.
“I’m sure you could convince him,” I say as I pull on my clothes in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face. Hazel puffy eyes staring back at me, god, I really look like I've been through hell. I sniffled slightly as I see purplish fingerprints on my arms from Othello's hands. Tears sting my eyes as I stare into the mirror. What have I become? I don’t recognize myself, I'm not sure rook would either. If he woke up, if, what would he think? Proud? No, definitely not.
“Hey, Billie? Are you alright in there?” Luke's knuckles rap against the door. Quickly, I swipe a hand under my eyes as I swallow thickly.
“Yeah, of course.” I open the door, a smile on my lips, faltering slightly. Luke, for as oblivious he may be, doesn’t seem to believe me.
“I know this is hard, I’m not blind,” Luke says rather flippantly, as he rummages around my desk, pulling out a golden heart locket, handing it to me, and motioning for me to put it on.
“You’re the strongest person I know, Billie.” My eyes prickle with constantly repressed tears as I nod, sniffling slightly. Stay strong Billie.
“Thanks, Luke.” He only hums in response as he pulls me in for a hug. He smells like citrus and freshly washed laundry. When will I finally let all of my guard down? If even Luke can notice something wrong I really have let my mask down. But do I even have the strength to put it back up? Not right now I don’t.
“You give the best hugs.” Luke chuckles and gives my outfit a nod as he snatches another cookie on the way back over to their apartment. Practically my second home now. Arwen meets us at the entrance, in a simple black hoodie. It's the simplest outfit I'd ever seen him in. He looks down and shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I wasn’t sure what to wear to meet him, I know he's in a coma but I didn't know,” he mumbles and I can’t help but smile at him, grabbing his arm. He’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met.
“C’mon silly, let's go,” I say rolling my eyes as I lead him out to my car. A stupid grin plastered on my face the entire way out.
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnpotLpQt1
