Joey Fordcopyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBd55jMGcT
October 20, 2016copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVbQ4plhpS
Week 8: Journal 4copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMGgGZFp1t
Crystal keeps on offering to pick up Bunny after school in order to "save me trouble." And I keep on politely turning the offer down. I've been making it to work on time just fine with me and Bunny's after school routine of giving each other hugs and kisses. I'm not going to just drop that so I can have a little extra time to get ready for work. Screw that.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡqq4EvaXiQa
I've been spending the past hour and a half or so just catching up on a bunch of algebra homework I'm behind on, as well as this English paper I got assigned earlier. I might as well get it done while I'm already doing schoolwork. Twenty One Pilots has been playing nonstop in the background the whole time that I've been doing my work. I know some people have a hard time focusing on work while listening to music, but I'm not at all one of these people. If anything, I kind of need music in the background in order to focus on my schoolwork. It just helps keep me relaxed and at peace. I actually seem to get my work done a whole lot faster when I have music on. Especially when it's Twenty One Pilots. copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡbE5nuaMQsc
Anyway, there's something on my mind right now. This has actually been on my mind since Sunday, but I just haven't bothered to bring it up until today. I wanted to focus on my wonderful weekend with Bunny on Monday's journal. So after church was over on Sunday, Bunny and all the other kids from church were all happily running around the building and playing together like they always do after church. I was busy talking to some of the people from church and I saw Bunny and a few of the kids sitting on the chairs talking. I overheard a conversation that went something like this:copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpYpFFpl4q
Little boy whose name I don't know: "Bunny, does your mom ever go to church?"copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvRT9n36FT
Bunny (very casually) : "I don't have a mom."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRymf3x1TZ
Little boy: "Oh. What happened to her?"copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBoc14SqqW
Bunny: "I never had a mom."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfsJ8B6bHM
Little boy: "Why?"copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YEDlTGSVA
Bunny (shrugging): "I don't know. My family is just a little different."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8cgldkdDL
Little Boy: "Oh. Okay."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡav0Ce8dkkV
Bunny (smiling): "Have you guys seen Secret Life Of Pets?"copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pTL3eEK7z
I don't think it's ever been a secret to Bunny that I'm the only parent she's got. And the only parent she's ever had. Since the moment she was born, I'm the only parent she's ever had. Oh sure, I've had some people help me out over the years (no, I'm not counting my stupid ex-babysitter), but I'm the only one who's actually raised her. All she has is her daddy. And to be perfectly honest, I don't think she's ever really been affected by it.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYIwf3Kzhn
When Bunny was very, very young (like when she was a baby), people would always ask me "What are you going to do when she starts asking about her mother?" And this is honestly something I started thinking about the very moment that I knew that I was going to be raising a child all by myself. I knew that this question was something that would be extremely difficult for me to answer. Even today, I can't give Bunny the full explanation for why she doesn't have a mother. The situation isn't appropriate to talk with her about at her age. So until she's much older, I basically have no choice but to just be vague about the whole thing. copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrTl47thsN
I decided to wait until Bunny asked me herself before I gave her any sort of explanation. Bunny actually didn't start to grasp the "Mommy and Daddy" concept until she was about three. Bunny had seen other children with their moms before, but it wasn't until this age that she really began to notice that most other children had mommies while she didn't. When Bunny was about three and a half, she finally asked me: "Daddy, where's my mommy?" I honestly did not at all know how to respond. I had asked Justin for advice at one point on what I should tell her when this problem came up. He told me to give her the old "families come in all shapes and sizes" explanation which I still think was a little complicated to tell a three year old. So I just said: "Not all children have mommies, Sweetheart. Our family is just a little different." This, thankfully, was good enough for her at the time. She didn't ask me any more questions about it after that. I think all she said after that was something along the lines of: "Different? Okay." Boy was I relieved.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzd7kgmY1t
But then came the second time she asked me. When Bunny was four, I was putting her to bed one night and she asked me: "Daddy, why don't I have a mommy?" Again, I had no idea how to respond. I think I paused for the longest time and then eventually I said: "Not all families are the same, Baby. Not everybody is lucky to have both their parents. Some people only have a mommy, some people only have a daddy, and some people don't have a mommy or daddy. Some boys and girls don't have any parents at all."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡymsgSHkDhB
It was the best I could do. I mean, what else could I say? I didn't want to lie and make up some bullcrap that her mother was off in fairy tale land and would come back some day. Which I actually toyed around with at one point (no joke). And I couldn't give the full explanation. All I had was the "families come in all shapes and sizes" explanation and I'm not even sure if I said it right.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C2UX61qou
Bunny: "Some boys and girls don't get a mommy or daddy?"copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB3rInI4mK
Me: "That's right. Some boys and girls have to live with their grandparents. And some boys and girls don't even have families at all. They don't get to grow up with any family. It's really sad."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡyU60aZHuCY
Bunny: "No families at all?"copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DA9xyfzYE
Me: "No."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dg6FZuo4Q
Bunny (a little heartbroken): "That's so sad."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CKeCVejqQ
Me: "Yeah, it is."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwtTF1rVAq
Bunny: "I wish those boys and girls had families. I wish they had someone that loved them."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEDQLjPfHT
Me: "Yeah, so do I."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PvQ48Misc
Bunny: "I'm happy that I have a daddy. Because I could have no family at all. And that would make me really sad."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KJCEoD5ke
Me (smiling): "We're lucky to have each other, Sweetheart. We're a family. It's a different family, but we're still a family."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUS9KDsAT9
I know this sounds really cheesy, but sometimes being cheesy is the best option. Keep in mind that I was speaking to a four year old here.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZZZP48CnA
Bunny (giving me a giant hug): "I love you so much, Daddy. I love that we're a family."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwlx80WM5g
Me (putting my arms around her): "I love you too, Sweetheart."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BaUKVydvr
Like I said, Bunny has at no point minded not having a mother. Sure, she was curious about other people having mothers while she didn't, but at no point has she ever felt sad about it or "left out." She knows she has a daddy that loves her more than anything and that's all she really needs. And Bunny has never had a problem explaining this to people who ask her questions.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0qmZgq8SN
There was one instance just last summer when a woman at the store asked Bunny if her mommy did her hair and Bunny said: "No, my daddy did it. I don't have a mommy." Her beautiful little smile didn't leave her face.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHj5es5bfb
The woman said: "I'm really sorry to here that, Sweetie."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhMCbxyKK4
Bunny (still smiling): "It's okay. Me and my daddy are still a happy family."copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡb74Cu4SUcL
Yes, we are Baby.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVs21Gv6RK
Oh, and the woman complimented me about the hair. That was nice.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡhj24VeBtYm
I also want to address the people that have told me "she needs a mother." I mainly have heard this from parents that I've met at daycares. I don't think this is a "children are better off with two parents" thing. I'm pretty sure they're outright giving special importance to the mother and throwing the father in the dirt. I HIGHLY doubt they would ever tell a single mother that her child needs a father.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9tCMXGESS
"She needs a mother." First of all, Bunny is six years old now and is still alive and healthy. I guess that sort of disproves the "need" part of your stupid comment, which would mean that having a mother is "extremely important" or else she would die. If that's what you meant by that, then you're just a moron.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBORDPy8Vq
Or does it mean that these people don't think I can raise a girl normally the same way a woman can? Here's what I think about that. Bullcrap. Yes I can. Screw you. Have a nice day.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdJVhFaT98
Okay, that was a little harsh. But I find it completely stupid that people like to think they know every single little thing in the world about parenting when they clearly don't. copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHiJj4HZJz
As I've said many times, I'm not a perfect father. And I never will be. And nobody on this whole freaking planet is a perfect parent and none of them ever will be. copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8bG0OwzXr
We all can be "better" as parents and can gain new experiences every day as a parent. There's never going to be a point where you're going to say "I've got it down completely, I will never make a mistake again." If you think this, you're a total fool. So who are you to judge my parenting skills when you don't even know me enough to judge me and are still learning things yourself? copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQFJMWpWPy
There's no "right" way to be a parent. And there never will be. There is no "expert" way to do it. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and be the best parent that you can possibly be. And that's all I've done since the very beginning. And when I'm doing my very best, I kind of have a problem with people telling me it's not "good enough" just because there isn't a mother involved. Acting like they're the parenting "expert" by giving me advice to magically grab a mother for my daughter out of thin air. Oh wait, are you telling me I need to start dating just so I can find my daughter a stepmother? And then suddenly everything will be all sunshines and rainbows? Go to hell.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45gnOArvza
I've made plenty of mistakes as a parent, and I highly doubt that being a woman would make any difference. I'm pretty sure the things I go through are hardly any different than what single mothers go through. How does having a penis suddenly make me terrible at raising my child? If this really is a "two-parent homes are better" thing, then I have two things to say to that. First of all, I technically grew up in a two-parent home. I think it would be an understatement if I said my parents weren't perfect. Second of all, being married does not suddenly make you perfect. You're still going to make mistakes and you're still going to learn new things with each passing day. I won't deny that having two parents technically is "better" for children, but that doesn't suddenly mean that being raised by a single parent is the worst thing possible for a child. It doesn't make things impossible, it just makes things a little more difficult. Doing anything on your own rather than having a partner is a difficult task. I'm sure most people would prefer having a partner on a school project rather than doing the entire thing on their own. But you can still do that project on your own. And it doesn't matter what your gender is.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rjg8k5ET2
So please don't try to convince me to find a mother for my daughter just because you think it would be "better" for her. I'm doing my best for her and that's all she needs. Raise your child as best as you can and let me raise mine. It's that simple.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TSLDFI2By
Oh, and a couple more things. "What about periods and bras?" I'm not eight years old! I know what these things are! And if I really need extra help explaining things to her, I have the Internet. I'm sure that's not going to anywhere anytime soon. As for mother figures, she has her aunts Michelle and Courtney. And I think Crystal has been acting as sort of a mother figure to Bunny lately considering she's been with her everyday. copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGDR3srvY1
Me and Bunny have each other and that's all we need. We're a happy family.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4tZkCjqgc
Today was a "Pink Day" as Bunny called it. She dressed entirely in pink. Pink bow, pink shirt, pink leggings, pink socks, pink nail polish, and even pink underwear. The only thing that wasn't pink was her shoes, which were white and blue with Anna and Elsa on them. Oh well, close enough. We let her hair hang loose this morning.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡsn6l9J0RLC
I took a few pictures of Bunny doing precious little sassy poses and put them on Facebook and captioned them "Pink Day!" Josh was the first one to comment and he said: "Breast Cancer Awareness!" Wow, talk about perfect timing. I mean holy crap, I didn't even realize it was breast cancer awareness month until Josh brought it up. Maybe I should've put a pink ribbon in her hair.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmj4emwGRv
So since I've been doing so much work for the past while, I think I'm going to go ahead and give myself a break for now. Time to play a little Animal Crossing. I'll go ahead and keep Twenty One Pilots playing. Why not?copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxzbwUNQk4
Oh, and I made an 87 on the English midterm. It's not an A, but whatever. Who cares? I still did good. I'm still going to find a way to reward myself. Maybe I can make sure I save up enough money to go watch Trolls and make my little girl happy? That would be a great reward.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ms98BS9tE
Alright, onto Animal Crossing.copyright protection224ＰＥＮＡＮＡLT14XfruWj
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