I smiled softly, hearing the claps and congratulations for and from my friends were relaxing.. Well, it was until my phone started blowing up with messages. I opened and read each and every message and contact:
'Hey Cam, you like Stef and Brendan?!'
'You like two people!!!'
'Do they ever get jealous? Do you?'
'Why'd you like two people?'
'Why Brendan of all people?!'
'Why Stef though? You know he likes someone else right?'
My heart dropped. Who told them this?!? I felt tears come to my eyes. And responded to the messages with: 'no's' and 'who told you that's' but I didn't get a reply. I was so heartbroken, I only told a few people, those being:
I didn't know how to comprehend this. My mind said it was Alex for sure but my heart said it was Stefan. I don't know! I covered my mouth with my hand, a sickening feeling swirling through my head as I tried standing up. Only to fall back down the minute my head rose, fainting.
(Dreams and Thoughts will all be Italics! 💜)
I ran to the back of the school, my face and arms stained, both liquids pooling towards the floor weren't really a concern to me at the time. I tried so hard...why...? Why cant I be normal? Why cant I be accepted? Why am I alwa—
"CAM!" I heard a voice and the taps of shoes on the ground, I regret it. I regret it all. "Camila.." he pants, I cover my face with my hands, pretending not to notice him but in reality my heart is aching for his touch, his love. "...Camila...you're laughing..right?" I can hear him start to sniffle a bit too, with the colour of wine on my shoes and his Im pretty sure it's out of pity, I don't mean anything...
"Camila please tell me you're laughing." He demands, I can't take it anymore, I look up from my hands, my eyes dark with pain. I push him back harshly, "WHY DO YOU CARE?!" He straightens up again, slowly inching his way over in attempt not to scare me, but he already put fear in my heart. The ache and fear for and of him pounds in my mind. (If I'm being honest I actually got a headache while writing that specific sentence 😓) he reaches a hand out but I slap it away.
"I'm sorry..." he says, I look into his eyes, he's serious..? "I'm sorry I made you do this. I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry I—" I cut him off, not with a scream, but with a soft sound, "You shouldn't be sorry, its all my fault. Im sorry...
Sorry for thinking you were different
For believing you all this time
For hoping every night that you actually feel the same
For every tear I shed, every cut that bled
For loving you when you didn't love me..."
I end my sentence at that. I fear to say anymore, knowing of the consequences. I look up at air.
[End of dream!]
I shot up, instantly regretting it as my vision became fuzzy, the nurse walked over to me, ushering me lie down. "Don't worry dear, I've already informed your teachers, just take rest okay?" I nodded, I have no idea what happened. Ughhh...how long was I out...? I took out my phone to check the time: '11:39' it read, Holy crap. Ive been out for 2 HOURS!? Oh goshhhhhhhh what happened??? Then it struck me like an arrow on a bullseye.
Those messages...ns 184.108.40.206da2