I love them with all of my heart, my body, my soul, and everything else. My existence is just for them, I do not exist anywhere else. I am not being an overly romantic person, for that statement is very, very true. Without them, I cannot exist in the outside world. I am an embodiment of their thoughts, wishes, and dreams. So, I knew I would soon disappear as soon as they found someone else to love.
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And, that time has come. At first, I didn’t notice. There were hardly any changes to my being. But, as days, months, and years went by, I was being left behind. At the beginning, I was sad, angry, upset, and confused. Why were they already forgetting me? Yet, I never voiced out my problems, and coped with them in my “heart”. It got easier and easier to bare as the time went by.
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That was because I was slowly losing myself too, I was losing my intelligence, my ability to feel emotions. I was losing my reason, though in very tiny, microscopic chunks.
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“...,” I had decided to call out to them at one point, during the middle of this conflict. I called out their names, but they didn’t look back. I had been forgotten to the point that my existence was simply a long dream to them. Though I knew that in my heart, I couldn’t help but lie to myself.
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They just didn’t hear you. Said the voice in my head. Call out to them again, they’ll notice you at some point. It said. And I did. I screamed and yelled and slammed onto the ground, demanding their attention. But, I got none of it. I was like a little child, throwing a silly tantrum.
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Thankfully, no one could see me. I was just an imaginary friend, an imaginary support system, after all.
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The voice in my head spoke to me near the end of my time, telling me something that removed all of my anger, the only emotion that had kept me, existing. It said, You are mad, but you know this anger is not what you’re truly feeling. You’re hiding something more beautiful, more unforgettable. You are happy for them, and sad for yourself. You are feeling pity for yourself and gratefulness for them. You love that they are happy, but you hate who they’re happy with. Yet, you understand that you cannot be with them, you are just a creation in their imagination.
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I cried at the words the voice said, as they were completely true. It didn’t try to comfort me, and stated the facts. I was fully aware of all the things it was telling me, but I just didn’t want to admit it. Admitting it would make me disappear completely, and I wished I’d leave something behind for them, even if it was just my anger.
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In the end, I decided that I wanted to leave something incredibly beautiful behind for them. To give them a gift for graduating from adolescence, the beautifully melancholic adolescence. I also began to hope that they would never see me again, and I would never meet them again.
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Let this moment in life end, so another one just as beautiful can start. You have done well, supporting them, and giving them a chance at living. If you hadn’t, they would not be the people they are now. They wouldn’t have met such kind people, and they would be outcasts.
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So, I left them with a small dream. One last, small dream from me.
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I told them about their journey. The good, the bad, every second of it. I showed them how they met me, how I came to love them, and how they are leaving me. Tears, laughter, smiles, and a little bit of anger were present throughout the whole dream. Giving them this last gift before we parted was the happiest moment for me. So, I did not regret it as I slowly faded away, and became a distant, forgotten memory to them. I was suppose to be that long ago, after all.
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For, I was only alive again to grant their wish of a proper closure to my life.ns184.108.40.206da2