Three...two...one...last day of school before summer. I count down the moments to the second. As the clock ticks, Mr. Pritchard passes out our last exam---A+ for me---and I barely care. Finally, the school announcements start, and Rizzo, who has been watching me steadily shaking like a spring in my seat, bounds out of his seat to scoop me into his arms, his blue eyes dancing with excitement.
"Rizzo, Madhuri...you know what, nevermind. I give up. Have a good summer, everyone."
We bound out of class, Rizzo dragging me behind him and Saunders, but I stop near the lockers to take the call I have been waiting almost a week to hear from.
"Hello, Madhuri Gupta?"
"This is she."
"Hi, this is Dr. Tersoo. It is so nice to speak with you. I was sorry that you missed your first interview. After all, your application is one of the best I have seen in a long time."
"Yes, I thank you for allowing me to make it up over the phone with your assistant."
"Yes, after your mother called and explained about your family problems, we couldn't help but reconsider. She wasn't very detailed, but I do hope everything is going well with you."
"Yes, things are much better."
"Excellent. Well, Ms. Gupta, after reviewing your qualifications and your phone interview, it would be our honor to offer you an internship position at Healthstone Medical Center. What do you say?"
"Yes! Thank you so much!"
She chuckles. "Good, then, welcome aboard. We look forward to seeing you Sunday. I know you had mentioned you are working, so we will try to keep your commitment parttime to work around your hours. Is that fair enough?"
"Yes, very much so, ma'am."
"Good. See you Monday. We will have your uniform ready."
"Thank you, and have a great day."
"Yes, you as well."
Click.
I can barely breathe. Despite having to give up the trip, I am excited about starting my internship. I have always wanted to be a doctor---to help people---everyone says that we could use more honest, good doctors in the world, and the more time I spend with people, the more I want to be that kind of doctor.
"Mou, school is over." His voice is filled with genuine confusion.
I race to Rizzo, reaching up to cup his face in my hands. I press him back against the lockers and meet his confused but adoring expression.
"Rizzo, I am officially a medical intern! I'm going to be shadowing Dr. Tersoo this summer!" I scream, and he swipes me off the ground and spins until the familiar hall is a blur through my thick black hair.
We laugh until he takes my hand in his, all seriousness. "I wish for you to come to my house?"
I frown at him. He is barely ever at a loss for words around me anymore. I've learned not to overreact about things. After all, Rizzo takes things so literally; so even though, my stomach melts with a thousand butterflies fluttering free, I keep my composure.
"Okay, Rizzo. I will text Emaye, and then we can go."
I text Emaye on the way to Rizzo's car, then we head to his house.
"Rizzo, this is going to be the best summer ever!"
He laughs, and we roll off to his house---the butterflies getting evermore frantic in my stomach.
When we reach his house, I am surprised by the large lawn full of lush green grass spreading among a two story grey stone house with a giant window on the front. Ms. C greets us at the door as Rizzo takes his backpack to his room.
"Nice to see you again," Gui greets.
"Yes sir, you too." I take in the wonderful photography on the walls, the iron wrought staircase leading upstairs to a studio, and the wooden floors. Suddenly, swift clacking on those floors lead to a giant mastiff comign straight for me.
"Atila! No!" Gui scolds, directing the drooly creature to a pink crate near the couch. The dog enters the crate and drops onto the pink cushion with a huff. "She is Rizzo's neopolitan mastiff. He loves that dog. I hope that's okay?"
"Yes, I never had a dog, but I'm definitely not scared of them. after all, I want to work with bengal tigers."
Gui laughs. "Yes, Rizzo was telling me over and over how he had to learn about bengal tigers for you. You really have all of his attention these days---"
"I talked to him about that."
Gui sits on the couch and offers me a seat in the recliner beside him. "It's a good thing, actually, Maddie. Since Rizzo has been with you, he has been more responsible, more open, more flexible. A girlfriend has done him good, but you must understand that dealing with Gianrico comes with a lot of work. You know that, right? He may never REALLY show you affection or love---"
"On the contrary, Gui. Rizzo is the perfect gentleman."
Ms. C smiles broadly. "See? I told you Giuseppe. Our Rizzo is growing into a fine young man."
Gui stares at his hands folded in front of him. "Yes, but that's how it is in the beginning. You are a novel thing to him, Madhuri, but someday you will not be new. You will have to deal with his tantrums, lack of emotion, rudeness---"
"Guiseppe, that's enough."
Rizzo reappears in a more casual shirt and blue jean shorts. He nods to Atila, and she moves to sit beside him.
"Madhuri, we can go out to the porch, if you want. I will bring the snacks." He takes the tray of lemonade and cookies that his grandmother brings him, then we head out to the porch. "Have you met Atila?"
I lean down to stroke her, and she slowly approaches me. "She wasn't very fond of me, at first."
"She is very protective, but she is a good dog." He pats her between the shoulder blades. "Mou, I'm sorry about my family. I hope they do not make you uncomfortable."
I remove my art pad and color pencils from my back pack and begin to sketch a caricature of the awesome subject before me. It has been a while since I did any art since loosing my art wall, but a caricature seems right at the present.
"It's okay, Rizzo, they just care about you."
"They're afraid I won't be able to love you. My therapist is nervous about the same thing, I think. She keeps asking me about my relationship with you." He runs his fingers through his hair. "I don't have a lot of friends, you know. In fact, Padre and my therapist wants me to join this group of young adults about my age---there are three Aspies in there, but I told him I don't want to---"
"What if I go with you?"
"I like that idea."
I continue my project, almost done. It feels good to paint again.
"Are you paying attention to me?"
I don't look at Rizzo. "Rizzo, I know you're not getting upset. You completely disappear when you get caught up with something."
"Yeah, but I have---"
"But...now you know how it feels, right?"
He squints at me for a moment---the typical robotic expression he has when he's processing things----then nods. "I can't help what I do sometimes. I don't mean to ignore you. It just happens, but I think understand what you mean."
"Rizzo, what DO you feel about us?"
His face is expressionless as he kicks a stray rock with the tip of his perfectly white tennis shoes. Finally he shrugs. "Madhuri, why are you asking me this?!" He gets up to pace. "I'm happy with you, right? That's what love is supposed to be...I can be myself around you. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel when I say I love you." He takes a deep breath. "I just know that I don't want to be without you because you accept me no matter what. You're a constant and someone I can count on to be there...what IS love? I try to make myself feel butterflies and magic, but I just know that love means wanting to be with the person, being loyal, and being happy. We are supposed to smile, and I am supposed to take you on dates and protect you, give you gifts...we are supposed to make one another smile. I just like to see you smile. What do you want from me."
I smile. "Rizzo, you may not FEEL it like everyone else, but no one can tell you how love is supposed to be. everyone experiences it in their own special way."
He nods, plopping back down in the chair.
"Anyway, yes, I'm done. I don't have you or Saunders's hyperfocus gift, so I completely heard what you said. I think your dad is right. You should go to the group, and I will go with you."
He smiles. "It starts this summer. Don't forget. By the way, I have a surprise for you this Saturday."
"And what is that?"
"Um...I said surprise. You understand, right? I can't tell you. I just want you to meet me somewhere this Saturday. i will text you the address."
"Rizzo, I'm not going to just meet you at some random restaurant---"
"Why NOT?"
"Because that's weird---creepy."
"You're my girlfriend, so what's the problem?"
I roll my eyes. "I guess it's the way you present it. I have to get used to it."
"What are you rolling your eyes for? You shouldn't be annoyed, right? Surprises are good, and they are romantic." He beams. "I have been watching all the traditional romance movies, plus Nona said she loved when my grandfather used to give her surprises."
"Yes, I like surprises. I just wish you weren't so vague, but I guess I will just have to wait," I resolve. "I know you won't tell me."
He shakes his head. "Nope, but you're going to love it."
I show him my picture after adding my signature. "A young man and his dog."
He frowns. "That looks nothing like us."
"It's a caricature."
"It's ugly. You really haven't been practicing, Mou. Do you want you try again?"
Dropping the book onto my lap, I shake my head. "No, it's a caricature, jerk." I throw the book at him.
"Okay, but um, you're angry, right?" He munches on a cookie.
As Atila creeps toward me to nuzzle my book, I scratch her behind the ears, which helps me relax. I lean my chin on my upraised knee and pout---thinking. Rizzo bends down in front of me, shoving his face right in front of mine.
"Why are you angry?"
"Why do YOU think?"
He shrugs. "Is it what I said?"
"Yes, Rizzo, it hurts people's feelings when you call their work ugly. How would you feel if I called your photography ugly?"
"Impossible. I have been doing stellar photography since I was three years old. My photography is unmatched."
"Irrelevant."
"How so?"
"I'm trying to help you understand that you made me angry because---do you even know what a carricature is?"
"No."
"Look it up."
After googling on his phone, he nods. "I was wrong. it's perfect."
"But...what if it wasn't?"
"Then I would tell you the truth because I want you to be great. If I lied to you, then you would be belittling yourself." He graces my chin with his fingers. "Love is wanting my girl to be great at whatever she puts her mind to, corretta?"
"Yes, that's true."
"It's not that i don't understand what you're saying, but sometimes my thinking is good too." He pauses to think a moment, then presses his nose to mine.
I laugh. "What are you doing?"
"Making you smile with an Eskimo kiss."
"You're the worst."
His expression reveals hurt and rejection, and I laugh harder, "Rizzo, dude, chill, it's an expression. Relax. You like a robot."85Please respect copyright.PENANA8y00uMyNSI
"Am I really?"85Please respect copyright.PENANA1WpdGfF3DN
I laugh to lighten the mood, replying, "Sometimes."85Please respect copyright.PENANAaC4O2fkS4U
He slowly rips the paper out my book and leads me to his room so that I can see him pin the paper to the wall.85Please respect copyright.PENANAKibmvU1mcB
"I am yours?"
"Yene nigusi, ante yene neh."85Please respect copyright.PENANAVvFYlTayvQ
He pauses for a moment, then clears his throat, and I know he is about to step outside his comfort zone. "Robots and all?"85Please respect copyright.PENANARa2hcjme5F
"Robots and all, but try to be a REAL BOY!"85Please respect copyright.PENANADbmzWEEosZ
He laughs. "You are making a reference to the Italian puppet Pinocchio? Clever."85Please respect copyright.PENANAIfGCuiY2hi
"You just ruined the joke."85Please respect copyright.PENANAcYrXDmhLuy
"But the irony is what makes me laugh." He shrugs. " Anyway, I think I know how to be a 'real boy.'"85Please respect copyright.PENANAR9j7PBIfLH
I raise my eyebrows. "You found the blue fairy?"85Please respect copyright.PENANAHcsBfDwfQQ
"No, Mou, seriously. I have analyzed this quite a bit since my last meeting with the therapist." Thoughtfully, he runs his finger along the edge of his desk. If he is checking for dust, he won't find any on that sparking wood. "Well, I am good at hyperfocusing and love rules and organization, but I'm not sure about what love is...so what if my definition of love is to make you smile everyday of our life together?"85Please respect copyright.PENANAe1SmDRq0Fb
"Everyday?"85Please respect copyright.PENANAajrB0ycfTU
He nods. "Starting now!" He tickles me until I collapse on his perfectly made bed, barely able to breathe, then he steals what breath I have left with his kiss. 85Please respect copyright.PENANAluQNOZkiRB
"Ante yene nehsh, yene nigisti."85Please respect copyright.PENANAXxmNj0Qckw
Eskimo kiss. 85Please respect copyright.PENANAP5NjN9p4Px