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雜文-想死
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作者 枯郎劇縮
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#1
枯郎劇縮
Jul 9, 2018
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No Plagiarism!IGTcE561yCSeNY8oaCxXposted on PENANA

我……想死。copyright protection8PENANAUaRCiIOwKC

喔等等等,不知道我用這麼一個……以正常社會眼光來說有點聳動的標題,是不是會讓你有著「這個人發生了什麼?」、「要不要關心他一下?」、「來看個熱鬧吧!  」等等的想法?copyright protection8PENANAGtjzFXEMZc12Please respect copyright.PENANAI5LcRrEmgW

12Please respect copyright.PENANA1vKsrZKA57
copyright protection8PENANAoSqbQyA0b812Please respect copyright.PENANAFXqGyxpA89

為此我得解釋一下……嗯,我真的想死,死透的死。copyright protection8PENANAX5jOIBxw7h12Please respect copyright.PENANAORfA362Hti

12Please respect copyright.PENANAEvNpYfpIPu
copyright protection8PENANA9NKsmqq1cp12Please respect copyright.PENANAQurhb0OBBX

等等等,放下你手邊任何,不管是電話還是什麼可以通知那些好比生命專線的東西,如果你真的做了我在想你可能做的那件事,也許我會真的去死。copyright protection8PENANAdBhEN8dn8o12Please respect copyright.PENANAKqOZ0S62AA

12Please respect copyright.PENANAle68E4n3Nc
copyright protection8PENANAv6tOVbqsIx12Please respect copyright.PENANAxEHZVS0KtC

這樣的話結果就不同……不,從最根本的本質來說就不再美好。會變成我不是自殺,是他殺,是做出這件事的某人,可能是你是他是她,這樣的話對任何人的心理都不好。copyright protection8PENANAKSlvkIWLJ912Please respect copyright.PENANAHe2ve3ol6Y

12Please respect copyright.PENANAVrc2AR6YUU
copyright protection8PENANAaXKsByAOVJ12Please respect copyright.PENANAbsySstLsdf

所以別做傻事,OKcopyright protection8PENANAdrPGgKSGdB12Please respect copyright.PENANA4Vt7rHaP2h

12Please respect copyright.PENANANYI00iR7hL
copyright protection8PENANAeYtztOhqz112Please respect copyright.PENANA1sdAkG369h

好,好,冷靜一點了吧,那現在開始我想問一些問題,希望你可以幫我想想。copyright protection8PENANAzKYkcASNpN12Please respect copyright.PENANAldcOlDwwsz

12Please respect copyright.PENANANfxvgyO7G5
copyright protection8PENANAwCfmjv6bbk12Please respect copyright.PENANASHx6hSMlYV

寶貝,為什麼"死亡"這麼另人感到恐懼呢?copyright protection8PENANANpigZM4hcE12Please respect copyright.PENANACj9P8usE0V

這樣問好了,對於死,你怕的是什麼?copyright protection8PENANAiLoh5ASYoh12Please respect copyright.PENANAdNbLjrk8y0

12Please respect copyright.PENANAdrILx0EklD
copyright protection8PENANAMUU1hdwopI12Please respect copyright.PENANAfYXpN5UgKV

是怕死的時候會痛?是害怕失去現在擁有的?還是怕……我想不到了,到底怕什麼?copyright protection8PENANAIc71s7NxoZ12Please respect copyright.PENANAbXJnJ2O3an

12Please respect copyright.PENANA3oOLamLOG7
copyright protection8PENANAbGLAYRbQPz12Please respect copyright.PENANAsW5plTuf9e

我得說,我怕痛,而且是非常怕,不得不說這是我在我的自殺小計劃本本中最大的"不該死"理由。這也許是全世界唯一個可以讓怕痛成為優點、讓"該死"可以成為正面詞語的事情。copyright protection8PENANA7Bu2CLf99E12Please respect copyright.PENANAblcUJWWyZ7

12Please respect copyright.PENANAV3wKOG6AvM
copyright protection8PENANARSQYTj5HRu12Please respect copyright.PENANAIXJNn4GRkQ

好,這一點我同意了。copyright protection8PENANAG3asD8jOZ812Please respect copyright.PENANA6vcjpVfmtf

12Please respect copyright.PENANAuoi087HfId
copyright protection8PENANAn7KR9nDowN12Please respect copyright.PENANA2qbLdyQUqa

那失去呢?說實話我曾經拿起我的筆,在書桌前非常認真的在想我擁有什麼。那是在七歲的時候吧,剛被媽媽罵完很生氣的坐在那想。copyright protection8PENANA3nFUmzesg512Please respect copyright.PENANALxGXR6S6tm

12Please respect copyright.PENANAmXKEYTMF9u
copyright protection8PENANAWX86pLfIzf12Please respect copyright.PENANATbU4W8DM34

最後我寫下了火焰獸,我最愛的玩具。copyright protection8PENANARXmBPvYsUv12Please respect copyright.PENANAXPBEMsLFze

12Please respect copyright.PENANA1WcMBaGnQP
copyright protection8PENANAfYSVSeu6GL12Please respect copyright.PENANARJ1MOXVsKZ

但現在想想,我如果不是坐在這兒想些五四三,我好像快十年沒把它拿起來玩了。就好像我在十八歲時為了和女友分手哭的死去活來,現在還不他媽活的好好的,只有偶爾會想起那段回憶揪心。copyright protection8PENANAbDIkK750PF12Please respect copyright.PENANAwIO8mAB8gb

12Please respect copyright.PENANAmi7z4IJL5A
copyright protection8PENANAfGCBis6hU112Please respect copyright.PENANAAXjCK8zFBk

所以人果然是……用我來概括全人類可能太自視甚高。所以我,我果然是善變的,對於人事物,那我死後就不善變嗎?copyright protection8PENANAMaZF6RTAYA12Please respect copyright.PENANAE73tgq3Ryk

不知道,畢竟我沒死過,但我覺得沒意外的話我死後個十來年,沒人會記得我,我也不會想任何人。copyright protection8PENANAlae4uYbAY012Please respect copyright.PENANA3VCauHTdsZ

12Please respect copyright.PENANAN3W7FHgfnR
copyright protection8PENANAfdHSO0kVhf12Please respect copyright.PENANAz2ZCvf2z7B

失去不成立。所以……好像我們只是在怕一個"未知"copyright protection8PENANAW4qWJwOD7M12Please respect copyright.PENANATawwl0deeF

不知道我往這邊走會到哪邊、做這件事會怎麼樣,就好像突然叫我去日本,我會不知所措因為不會日文,但真的要我活下去好像又不是件難事。copyright protection8PENANAetWtxrrI1p12Please respect copyright.PENANAd2IaanSqCf

小時候也會對很多地方充滿恐懼,長大的現在只會覺得,小朋友真奇怪。copyright protection8PENANAJhDrarrunJ12Please respect copyright.PENANAichhPMxSmF

12Please respect copyright.PENANAtfP0Lb0Zqf
copyright protection8PENANAKkOagyH4cO12Please respect copyright.PENANAEEhmPrKHSn

或許死了就會想,人呀,真的很奇怪。copyright protection8PENANARqhOTOflxh12Please respect copyright.PENANAWaAerq1Yin

12Please respect copyright.PENANADMDtMpFNo5
copyright protection8PENANAKgyoHIP9dd12Please respect copyright.PENANA23KkpzMagE

不過拿這例子來想就有點頭緒了,因為人的想像力實在強大,明明就不會怎麼樣,但就是覺得會怎麼樣,搞到最後都不知道是怎麼樣了……,事後覺得,嗯,真不怎樣。copyright protection8PENANASXxG8OeQSq12Please respect copyright.PENANAydO8rgytfR

12Please respect copyright.PENANAQTEumqU2ei
copyright protection8PENANAEKRWyLLN6i12Please respect copyright.PENANA8hlSBLroWH

所以講了這麼多,可不可以對我抱持"想死"這件事稍微覺得不是那麼怎樣了呢?copyright protection8PENANA5RzDfhm5qz12Please respect copyright.PENANA2uVRDm7cQm

12Please respect copyright.PENANA4HfIbC95En
copyright protection8PENANAjjxQZGEewx12Please respect copyright.PENANAoMFKEhw5Fs

如果是,我還有問題想問。copyright protection8PENANAFahx7PjSDp12Please respect copyright.PENANANIXIzB5GOW

12Please respect copyright.PENANA2SDiAOUKUy
copyright protection8PENANAaIhJmx0IDr12Please respect copyright.PENANA7ilM204z5J

什麼樣的人會想死呢?copyright protection8PENANAiWKPNKwrY212Please respect copyright.PENANA1TrZC0BIGp

12Please respect copyright.PENANAEJhh1S6VC0
copyright protection8PENANAYEdgck5vcJ12Please respect copyright.PENANAuKjQxmQBVW

悲傷的時候?生氣的時候?還是絕望的時候?copyright protection8PENANAVmrc6OK7wo12Please respect copyright.PENANAlXPMWsMxat

12Please respect copyright.PENANAXPde7f7dbK
copyright protection8PENANAyOkiE73az112Please respect copyright.PENANAdFuxv2TlDO

都會吧我想,但我覺得嘛……應該是任何時候吧。copyright protection8PENANAdyGqOSLUnX12Please respect copyright.PENANAhYM7LJzygK

12Please respect copyright.PENANA2ezfsGvAUG
copyright protection8PENANADik5vrTgyq12Please respect copyright.PENANAk8lOFRRydv

就像我現在,我很開心,因為我參與了一場很棒的秀,那個感動,哇,難以用言語形容。copyright protection8PENANAE7eZqT6t3G12Please respect copyright.PENANAnvt9DfSdN9

12Please respect copyright.PENANAXPnx5QeAq8
copyright protection8PENANAvgebH24sXs12Please respect copyright.PENANAgLhCAWurvI

所以我想死呀,因為如果現在掛了,我就是為人生的最後,畫上了完美的句點。雖然過程可能不盡人意……copyright protection8PENANApALKGhbzxK12Please respect copyright.PENANAWSeq2RFU4s

12Please respect copyright.PENANA42irAoiOYJ
copyright protection8PENANAZcRebi7iLb12Please respect copyright.PENANAXfueS4bmvG

「剛吃飽覺得滿足了,所以覺得就算現在來一顆隕石我把砸爆,食物還沒消化就從我受到擠壓的肚子中傾瀉而出,美呀!」的情景也是有過的。copyright protection8PENANAYhsdt9gxCd12Please respect copyright.PENANA4rziRBaxwe

12Please respect copyright.PENANAZAhi2RGkFE
copyright protection8PENANA02OLMu2Y4A12Please respect copyright.PENANA3DUxSMB387

很多人會問,為什麼要去死?對此我想反過來問,為何不去死?copyright protection8PENANAI4NAiZTqiE12Please respect copyright.PENANAKdyjwqVGXr

有什麼理由讓人苟延殘喘下去呢?copyright protection8PENANAChV4uoeKWQ12Please respect copyright.PENANAVX1cf43WoJ

12Please respect copyright.PENANAAsnv0fhCjq
copyright protection8PENANAYWSMHFhKDl12Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4DinaIjQG

有,而且很重要,可能很重要吧。copyright protection8PENANAlmq8XJ8Q9q12Please respect copyright.PENANAKMDMYTQ2Pf

12Please respect copyright.PENANAMqH9VHpdkI
copyright protection8PENANAvMHrQcQ5WM12Please respect copyright.PENANAD3Mhlar4ti

就是冰箱裡還有一塊小蛋糕,巧克力的,我明天還想把他吃完。copyright protection8PENANAVVJOIrt0b712Please respect copyright.PENANALe4p03iR68

昨天看了一部動畫,下星期結局,再活一個星期好了。copyright protection8PENANAlxuMGrvOiE12Please respect copyright.PENANA6SyN1uvrHP

12Please respect copyright.PENANA9lTWCf74jB
copyright protection8PENANAeNrWfh85n512Please respect copyright.PENANAm5QruQvMHB

運氣不錯,每天都有想做的事,所以……明天還有事,後天再死好了?copyright protection8PENANASi0B7J2AJe

54.158.52.166

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