"Christ. . .D-Don't stop." my eyes sunk to the back of my head, fingers digging into the sheets.
The tips of her fingers skimmed up my thighs as her nails faintly dug into my skin. Grace had this way of touching me in one small spot that would force every cell in my body quake with euphoria. It always seemed as though her fingers carried magic in them, Chris Angel'ing my body with every chance she got. That was exactly it. Grace was magic. She was transcendental, and damn near supernatural. The girl on top of me was the embodiment of hope. My hope.
My fingers embarked over the small of her back, every ridge of her spine imitating a mountain's peak, tall and proud. Supple, her soft lips began to follow upwards as she traced inwards. As she let go of my thighs, she brought herself forward, still wrapped and trapped in between my legs. She wasn't going anywhere and she knew it.
". . .and what if I do?" her lips pecked my chin as she traveled ever so slowly up to my face. "You going to spank me as punishment?"
She took my wrists, cuffing them with her own hands and then slamming them onto the mattress. Now pinned, I lied defenseless underneath this beautiful woman. I could do nothing and was forced to do as she wished, not that I had minded. She could've done that any time she wanted, any place she wanted. I was hers, and she very well knew it.
"Might as well take full advantage now, since I'm going to be punished. Riiigghht?" Grace's mouth dropped by the second as she dragged on her final word, stopping above my own while sending the faintest scent of mint into my nostrils. "...or maybe we can just forget about that and have some more fun."
". . .Yeah." my concentration began to wane as her right hand made a clear effort to crawl down south, a smile being the only constant on my face. "Just do that."
Grinning, her lips landed on mine like a spaceship to the moon, a bird to the ground. It was clear to me that Grace had been everything I wanted. Beautiful on the inside and out, responsible, and truthful to herself. The very respect she showed herself was the same she showed others, and that alone was the most amazing thing about her. She was always true to who she was and never strayed from it unlike everyone, or so I thought.
Grace pushed herself up, still slightly smiling. Her brown hair draped off of her neck, the barely curled ends lied, sprawled on my shoulders with the lightness of a feather. Faded like an old sweater that was washed one too many times, her green eyes trembled with unsteadiness as it felt they were perforating my very soul. That was all she ever had to do to make me cave in, to make me give up on something I thought I was adamant about.
- - - - - - -
"Jesus, you're so easy." Grace rolled over onto her back. "But the faces you make are so worth it."
"Shut up." I covered my face with the white blanket, feeling embarrassed. Even if it was only us, what she had said still made me go redder than a stoplight.
"Nope. Never happening." she pulled the blanket down, revealing what was likely a blush-ridden face of undiluted redness. Her right hand surfed across the sheet and up into the air, landing on my cheek like a graceful bird after a long flight. "Especially when I see faces like this every time."
She always knew what to say, whether it was to bend me out of shape or make me feel good, the right words had always come out of her mouth. When she spoke to me like she'd been doing at that moment, I was reminded of those playboys you read about and saw on some TV show. They, unfailingly, knew what to say every single time. Just like Grace.
As my eyes finally returned to Grace, I was gifted with her looking right back at me. However, it wasn't her typical smile-ridden expression. What I was given was a small frown, a frown that could have no way been mistaken as just a regular stare. Why could I tel? I was able to read Grace just as much as she was able to read me. That had always been one invariable between us.
I wasn't about to let that expression get away, especially when she was trying to hide it from me. "Why do you look so sad?"
Grace's smile came back to life. "I'm not sad. I'm just wondering why you're even with me when we have to hide like this. Everyone else in the world can be whatever they want, but here I am hiding away. I just can't understand wh-"
In that next moment, my finger was over her lips. I hadn't even realized I had done it until it was there, holding her lips quiet. The softness was out of this world, like a resting a tired head to the worlds best pillow for the first time. every time. That was something I never got tired of.
"You know the answer. I'm here because I want to be, hiding or not." I essentially gave her the same answer I had before, because it hadn't changed. "I'm not going to let your parents or anyone get in my way. They'll have to kill me."
"I know, L. I just. . .I don't want this to end. I worked so hard to have this...have us." I felt her fingers slither in between mine as her body literally inched itself closer. Grace's eyes fell downwards, watching her thumb massage the first knuckle of my index finger. "It's this small stuff, I love it. Spending time with you, lying here with you, and even just talking with you. I love this, and I don't want to be without it. I need this."
"It's not going to end." I answered, knowing full well how childish it sounded. We were children in the eyes of the law, so why couldn't we act like it? "We'll always have time to do this, we'll always have time to do everything. Brian said that if you can outlast patience, you're always going to win. So, lets do that. Let's outlast patience."
Grace began to laugh, her grip on my hand began to ever so slightly tighten up. "That sounds just like him. . .but maybe he's right. Let's try to outlast patience,"
What Grace hadn't know was that I felt the exact same way, or maybe she did know and I was just too dense to know it.
The simple moments were the best ones for me. The quiet gave solace, a mending of the human connection, silence was place to grow closer and stronger - alone or together. Silence, for the both of us, had been comfortable because we knew that the words would come when they were needed or wanted.
Then it became my worst enemy.
It was the hours spent holding each other. It was the hours spent holding each others hands. It was the hours spent exploring, surveying the human form and body. Every minute of those hours, and every second to those minutes, they were all worth it. Everything we had done, learning and growing on our own, all of the time spent was worth it - down to the very last millisecond and beyond.
- - - - - - -
"Shut up, L. Just be a good girl and follow me." Grace took several frivolous steps backwards, still peeking back to make sure that she wouldn't run into a wall, or less likely, another person. "Follow me into paradise, good-looking."
That smile, like the sun, pulled me along like the currents of the ocean. The light, contrasting streaks of blonde hair diverged alluringly from the strength of the brown. I had things to say, but whenever I was alone with her, my words would find a path of escape and leave me speechless. Hopelessly speechless, like a bumbling oaf trying to ask crush out. I was so hopeless around Grace.
So hopelessly in love. So hopelessly stupid.
Maybe some would call it a heavy dosage of puppy love, and maybe it was something more than that. Time was the only true answer, but I sure as hell knew what I was feeling, and that feeling surely wasn't weak. Words unspoken, I was captivated by the sight of her, the feeling of her. She was the illumination to any kind of darkness. She was the illumination to my darkness.
In what felt like a quarter of a second, I found myself against the wall that belonged to the rear end of the school, trapped in between in her arms. Grace eyed me down, looking expectantly as she watched me stand cluelessly.
"You should really grow your hair." Grace took hold of my jaw-length hair, swirling it in between her thumb and index finger. "I'm sure you'd look even better."
"Do you want me to?" my self-consciousness had begun to take over, almost feeling as though she disliked my hair as it was.
"Lose that face. I'm just saying I think you would look even more beautiful than you do now with long hair, that's all." Grace painted along my chin with the knuckle of her index finger, her narrowed eyes and grin speaking volumes. "Now, turn the fuck around. I need my fill of that perfect little ass before next period starts."
"Are you seri-"
"Shh." her finger landed over my mouth as her left hand glided up and over my ribcage.
Just like a slam on the brakes, Grace's hand stopped under my chest and her fingers began their attempt to turn me to my left. Of course, this wasn't something I was super comfortable with doing. I mean, practically nobody ever came out here and that probably wasn't changing, but why was she putting herself at risk of getting caught?
Grace pressed me against the wall with a suddenness I hadn't expected, eliciting the slightest bit of a whimper - or had it been a moan? The next thing I heard was a small snicker, just barely loud enough to hear without mistaking it for breathing, but that hadn't mattered at all. Her small breaths soon disappeared as a pair of lips hit the nape of my neck, a place that Grace always attacked when she wanted to get her way.
Given the undenied access of her hand in my shirt, I had become nothing more than putty. It wasn't fair at all. She was so evil, yet so heavenly all at the same time. Grace had the lips of the devil and the hands of an angel. I could just never defend myself around her - and I had never wanted to.
"Grace, that's enoug. . ." I tried to stop her, but was instead met with the further weakening of my will.
"Don't worry. Nobody comes back here." Grace's right hand wormed its way passed my waist and onto my butt, squeezing like a child who didn't want their toy taken away. "Jesus. This never gets old, ever."
Letting go, her hand rocketed back into my shirt and grazed over the bra I hadn't expected her to see that afternoon - and it was a bra she still hadn't seen. A very light rustling caused both of us to turn our heads, and we were presented with one of last people we wanted to see. It wasn't a student, it was the teacher I had for my next period. The math teacher, Mr. Walton.
He took several or so steps onward, all while I could feel his eyes burning into my still-exposed stomach. "What's going on here, ladies? You know students aren't allowed out here right now."
"Sorry, Mr. Walton. My bra was stabbing me, and I didn't know how to fix it." I looked at Grace, who conveniently still hadn't moved her hands. "Grace knew how, so we came out here to fix it."
"Why not just use the bathrooms?" he prodded. "I'm not sure if this is a common problem or not, but I'm sure it would've been understood."
"Girls are judgy about stuff like this. It won't happen again, we're sorry." Grace finally spoke up, now pretending to fiddle with the underwire of my bra. "We'll only be another minute."
His face had said that he was thinking as he kept his distance from us, like we had been a walking and talking form of the plague. Though, hindsight says that he probably wanted to keep his job and that was the reason for the distance. In a moment where I thought everything was going to come crashing down, we both had somehow managed to save it. Maybe he knew we were lying, or maybe not, but the important thing was that his expression wasn't that of a person about to punish.
"I only came because I saw the door just closing and wanted to make sure students weren't ditching." he nodded, and amazingly began to leave. "You two have always been good students, so I'll trust you both and let you get that fixed. See you in class, Lynn."
Her mouth opened, expelling the laughter she was clearly holding back the entire time. Even if we almost got caught, and even if this whole relationship almost ended, Grace's laughter was the cure for everything, at least in my life. Not only was it contagious, it just flat out brightened up the world. The most amazing thing about it? It was effortless.
She was effortless.
Grace never tried to smile. She would smile when she meant it, and when she meant it, people truly felt it. Instead of wearing her heart on her sleeve, she exhibited it as a gorgeous outfit for all to see. Courageous, unafraid, and truthful, I wasn't able to ask anyone for anything more - boy or girl.
"I told you not to worry. If it's the both of us, we'll always come up with something." Grace took a hidden step closer. "By the way, I don't think I've told you today. . ."
Leaning inward, Grace popped forward and dropped a quick peck on my lips. With glistening eyes, she bounced back towards the school, and then stopped once more with a swift spin.
"I love you."
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