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Blue Avenue
Co-Writer Faithios*
Beta Reader Princess Mclil1
3 spaces left
Collaborators
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
RATED
464 Reads
18 Likes
4 Bookmarks
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Blue Avenue
4 Bookmarks
Blue Avenue
4 Bookmarks
#13
Leaving
Faithios
Feb 23, 2021
1
3
8
12 Mins Read
Comments ( 3 )
T. S. Stone - Dang, man, that ending! Amazing. I do think, though, that the part in the middle is a little weird. When Faith is talking about how she loves Rowan and couldn't see herself with anyone else. She talks about how she kind of owes him and stuff, and I think it seems a little like she doesn't really know him, just that he's fragile. Maybe, instead of talking about how she owes him you could talk about the things she and Rowan have done together since they got away from Spencer. You should try to focus on how she got to know him so that it doesn't seem like that "love at first sight" cliche. I hope this was helpful to you.
1 day agoreply
Faithios - You make a pretty good point there, and I do agree I should go back and elaborate more on why Faith reciprocates the way she does (along with the things she likes about him) in the flashback. Though for a bit of context (which I also plan to go back and add), Faith and Sherm both led extremely sheltered childhoods, and given how Faith ended up meeting her first 'boyfriend', it kind of stunted her further in that regard. There were a few other inconsistencies I purposely placed in their relationship, that will be addressed further in the next chapter or two. Thanks for reading!
1 day agoreply
T. S. Stone - @Faithios, ah okay, that makes sense. I'm glad I could help! Also can't wait for future chapters!
1 day agoreply
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