Letters at the door

Chapter One; Letter's to Connect

I never took after my parents success instead I became a recluse in life, with everything. I was once consumed by a boy in school and we were always together, so it was natural to date I thought. But during the second year when I found my courage to leap expecting far too much. That was the day I learned to pick up broken pieces but I guess life has many lessons to give. My experiences with people appeared like a fairy tale curse where I trade one thing for another. As life went on I withdrew inside myself further it's been so long since I last saw another person. All my food is delivered using a cat door that has no other uses. I work as a writer of sorts but it's small stuff so I can at least pay my expenses. However, I was assigned a college student who needed assistance with the new job.

As silly as it sounds she got used to my way of communication since I treated the outside world like a calamity. She decided one day to come to visit but I couldn't change my ways so I used the cat door to trade notes. She sounded really young and her laugh was nice it has been some time since someone visited me like this.

Kayla;

"So my name is Kayla and I am going to college learning nothing of importance because I wanna write. The world feels empty so I had a dream when I was younger, if the world feels and looks empty maybe I could fill it. Writing does something special to so many people. It can bring tears and smiles it's truly wonderful. Like your work, when I first read it I was captivated by it. My favorite piece was ' Life is a mirror offering you broken pieces to fill your puzzle. You decide how each piece fits inside.' That's a unique way to look at life because we all get some good and bad."

Erin;

" Hello, Kayla my names Erin and I apologize for the choice of communication. I have difficulty speaking it seems according to life lessons. I am a recluse and I probably will never step outside again, because that piece of writing says it all. My puzzle has been filled so I wrote it in hopes others would heed my words. The world is beautiful but unfortunately it's also cruel. I personally think you should find someone more sociable because I believe I will disappoint you."

Kayla;

" Well, Erin I like puzzles I use to be fascinated as a kid, and one thing I learned as I got older was puzzle pieces can be replaced. Right now your puzzle is full of bad things but you said it yourself we can choose how to fill our puzzle. I'm not going anywhere because I now have a new dream that fits with my current goal.

I'm gonna show you this beautifully cruel world again because you deserve to embrace who you are without having to hideaway. One day ill show you the world through my eyes and help you find those pieces you forgot to pick up along the way."

That one piece of paper held so much weight because every word was a direct shot to my soul. I lingered on every word she wrote like it was a lifeline I was waiting for all my life. That night I sat by the door till sleep claimed me because I was impatiently waiting. But as a writer, I know words can be misleading yet here I sat clinging to this thing we call hope. Because once upon a time I clung to another's words of promises and hope only to be deceived later in life. But she was right a puzzle is only complete when you are satisfied with the results otherwise you start over again. I just don't remember how to start over again and I am afraid these pieces will cut me if I try to replace them. While my mind refused to rest I soon was taken by sleep against my front door clutching on to that one letter.

The following day I awoke to a cramped neck and rather stiff bones but such is expected when sleeping in that away. A shower was the first decision I was going to make today since the steam often helps me wake up so I can start the day properly. I didn't have much to do with work so I was free to lounge around and watch tv, but yesterday was a constant reminder to me. So after the shower, I decided to write whatever came to my mind first on paper to rationalize my thoughts better. I wasn't expecting anything today so when I passed by my front door I noticed a package dropped off. 

Kayla;

" Morning Erin here's the first of my steps to the goal. This box contains the outside world's beauty and amazing taste for breakfast. I swear this is really amazing. Sorry, I couldn't stay since I woke up late but ill stop by to chat after college."

I shut the world out long ago but my memory never faded with time, this was a box from Tammy and Bens Dinner. A lovely couple I often went there after disappointment and heartbreak because the atmosphere was peaceful. Inside the box were a freshly baked pretzel and two pancakes with two things of syrup. I stopped eating breakfast so long ago and switched to lunch, it wasn't healthy but I couldn't get motivated enough. So for the first time in a long time, I will sit down at a table that I haven't used in a while to enjoy breakfast. The pancakes are made the same way I remember them and the syrup was still the same homemade with a touch of honey and fresh strawberry jam. I always enjoyed their grape syrup more but this is delicious as well I honestly don't know how this counts as a first step. But it's been a while since I smiled like this. 

As time drifted on I felt anxious like I couldn't wait for her to come back again. One part of me said I was setting myself up for failure again while another said it's harmless to socialize. Both sides are wrong and right one of the many instances of my indecisiveness. But I waited all the same by the door hoping to talk to the stranger once more. Even as I wait here I can't help thinking that my words are the reason she's here and in this world, everyone wants a piece of you. I wanna believe otherwise but it's really hard for me to accept and change myself.

Kayla;

" Hey, Erin I'm back the school for adulting was dragging on longer than necessary. So maybe we can talk more about you and me, that way I can make plans."

The long-awaited moment when she finally came back to see me was here. Her words had been just as kind as the last.

Erin;

" Hey Kayla you are here to learn from me though you know, but I suppose we could talk more about us. My parents are normal neither rich nor poor and my brothers married somewhere far away. I once had a cat I loved dearly and I'm a recluse."

Kayla;

" Lol Erin that's an interesting introduction well I guess it's my turn then. So my mother's living normal enough and I'm the only child, my father's not around. I love animals in general so no favorite picks from me. I once played soccer and basketball in school but I never enjoyed them like the others and the one person I dated talked me into trying it out. What about you Erin, have you found similar experiences with dating."

Erin;

" Yes unfortunately Kayla life makes sure we experience such things because we are given hearts at birth. I tried many things to fit in with the person I liked but I could never be the one for them in the end. It's difficult being yourself for someone you like and even harder to be something else. Love is our biggest piece in our puzzle, after all, we are indeed social creatures who desire such connections. "

Kayla;

" Hey, Erin would love be the reason you gave up on the world outside."

Erin

" I don't wanna admit it but I think so but that's another story and it's getting late you should head home soon."

Kayla;

" Yea um all I have are words but I'm here outside waiting for the day I can see you. So don't give up on me I promise to show you the world outside and everything that could fill your puzzle up with better pieces. See you tomorrow"

I wanted to open the door but so much fear overwhelmed me from making that choice. I wanna believe her words but eventually, she is gonna move on from me I'm sure of it. I felt the need to stop her from leaving for fear of her not returning as she said.  We are social creatures and my heart and soul have been cut off from the world too long. Perhaps one day I will see beyond this set of prison walls I built around me. I thought these types of thoughts would have left me alone but she brought them back again, which is fine because I do need to face them at some point. I don't know her fascination for me exactly but it has to be more then the words I write.

{Orignally posted and updated on Messagink. I will slowly bring it here as more chapters are released.}