It was now one o’clock, and Dennis felt that he had waited long enough. The loaded pistol at his side had a job to do.
He lifted the gun up off of the bed. His arms shook and his heart pounded violently.
Dennis did not feel that he needed to leave a note behind. His parents already knew what his problems were. Their knowledge of him was a note all on its own.
He slowly lifted the gun towards his face. His hands were still shaking.
Dennis began to imagine his parents’ reactions. He knew they were going to be devastated. But he didn’t care. He had no relationship with his parents to look upon.
He lifted the gun much closer to his face. It now touched the end of his lip. The coldness of the gun made him shudder.
Dennis didn’t care what other people’s reactions were. He didn’t care about other people at all.
He moved the barrel of the gun inside his mouth. His heart beat insanely.
Dennis had no family other than his parents. He had never met any grandparents. Or at least, not that he could remember.
He moved the gun to where it was almost completely inside his mouth and the barrel pointed to his throat.
Dennis’ future would go nowhere. He had nothing more to live for.
He placed his finger on the trigger.
Dennis would always be a poor person. Nothing would ever change for him.
He closed his eyes.
Dennis could not believe what position he was in. He had a loaded pistol in his mouth and his finger placed on the trigger. All he had to do now was pull it.
When he did, it would all be over.
For a while, Dennis sat absolutely still. His heart pounded harder than ever and sweat ran down his face.
He could hear two voices calling out to him. One came from his mind. It said: “Do it, do it. You will not regret it.” The other voice came from his beating heart. It said: “Stop! Stop! You’re making a big mistake!”
The voices continued to call to him as he shook violently and kept his finger on the trigger. Sweat continued to pour down his face.
Dennis kept his eyes closed. The feeling of the gun in his mouth was getting to him. He wanted it to be over. He wanted it to be over at that moment.
Both of the voices were now screaming at him. Wars were going on between his mind and his heart. He had to be the one to decide who wins.
Dennis pushed the barrel down his throat. There was no more waiting. It had to be now. It had to be. He had to make a choice at that moment. And at that moment, he decided to let his body take control for himself…
Dennis felt the pistol slip from his hands and fall to the floor.
He then collapsed onto the bed and started to pant wildly. His eyes were now wide open.
At first, Dennis thought he had choked. But he knew very well why he hadn’t pulled the trigger. He just could not go through with it. He just couldn’t. Something inside of him was stopping him.
He slowly sat up and looked down at the floor. The pistol lay on the ground. It could still be easily picked up and fired.
But Dennis closed his eyes and shook his head. He would not. He could not.
Instead, he stood up and picked the gun up off of the floor and put it back in the drawer where he found it. He then closed the drawer.
Dennis walked back to the bed and collapsed on his stomach.
He could not believe that he had almost committed suicide. That was one of the worst things a person could do. And he had come so close.
All of a sudden a new thought was on his mind: Was his life really so bad that suicide was a fair option?
Dennis could not decide. But he did make another very obvious decision. He decided he would never tell anybody what he had almost done that night.638Please respect copyright.PENANAhmuqJLZWwx