To be honest I called this book a public diary but maybe that doesn't really fit? I mean I basically just wanted a place to dump all my thoughts, feelings and opinions onto... I guess that would be part of a diary but a diary would be more like describing their experiences and what you felt at that time right?
Well anyway that isn't really what I thought I would write it just suddenly came to my head... I am 15 years old as I already said once and currently I am in my period of self-discovery... But actually I would say the same thing two years ago so maybe not... But I would at least describe it as such... Wait... I am actually thinking about it now and I noticed I reached basically nothing in these two whole years... I know I am apathetic, I believe (not 100 percent sure) that I am also Aromantic... ... I think that is actually all I discovered about myself in these whole two years... I am not joking when I am saying I noticed just now how little I know about myself...
Well that was kinda a disappointment I thought I had more in store... But another thing I noticed... I kinda relate to the Shimamura from the Yuri Romance anime "Adachi to Shimamura". Shimamura felt pretty similar to me in the sense that I do have a couple of friends that I call friends but I have no real interest that overlap with them so if they talk about their things I, to be honest, barely listen.. And I would imagine it is the other way around as well considering the fact that I sometimes just have to rant to someone about an anime, manga or LN and none of my friends really care about them. It feels like my friendship to them only exists cause we are in the same class and the second we get assigned to a different class the friendship would just... end. I was lucky with the fact that I stayed friends with the same person for 8 years cause we always ended up in the same class but I feel if we would end up in different classes... I don't know if I would have the capacity to try and keep the friendship alive... I am pretty sure they would try their best and I would feel terrible if I just cut them of like that but at the same time I also don't really care? I know I am contradicting myself but this is how I feel... (You are gonna see more contradictions of my mind in the future). This isn't all actually. I am an introvert and like to be alone but I know that I would probably not survive school life without friends... no people to talk to because everyone needs people they can talk to about something even if the other person isn't even really listening... I know that cause I sometimes have the desire to just rant about stuff (such as now) and dump everything on my mind somewhere...
Sorry for the rant I guess? But if you read it then I guess you enjoyed it? Or related to it? I don't know but I hope you have a good day and goodbye...
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