I'm a horrible person.175Please respect copyright.PENANAnZFo4Tynlr
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.175Please respect copyright.PENANAVZgw33sxAx
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.175Please respect copyright.PENANA1nzqNJOSIl
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.175Please respect copyright.PENANASetuQS8nIg
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.175Please respect copyright.PENANAlrZeMtSHxs
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.175Please respect copyright.PENANAxmhBq3ylyy
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.175Please respect copyright.PENANAwLK1OxzSux
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.175Please respect copyright.PENANABEtLOHePct
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.175Please respect copyright.PENANAqbRbyh6ZfI
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.175Please respect copyright.PENANAOpCQhgl9NL
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.175Please respect copyright.PENANAPr9NrkS1XB
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.175Please respect copyright.PENANAuC7mX2d4HT
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.175Please respect copyright.PENANA0UQJxpH47a
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.175Please respect copyright.PENANAiTWivFwyHt
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.175Please respect copyright.PENANAT11bOPMfqf
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?175Please respect copyright.PENANAlgGjfja32V
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.175Please respect copyright.PENANAnXg4Y2DXmr
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.175Please respect copyright.PENANAfHtes20Sjc
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.175Please respect copyright.PENANAyK02eanoRW
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.175Please respect copyright.PENANA0HagdEmJFb
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.175Please respect copyright.PENANAZW8j30LeyR
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.175Please respect copyright.PENANAV9mJ4FOCxy
Of being lonely.175Please respect copyright.PENANA7zKn3TqLLM
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.175Please respect copyright.PENANA1O3MRdKIal
175Please respect copyright.PENANAo1YTr4KHuW
So I take comfort in my own world.175Please respect copyright.PENANArrpBQcwqni
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.175Please respect copyright.PENANAXfZ3hHsdzG
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.175Please respect copyright.PENANAzri1lqzz5C
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.175Please respect copyright.PENANAmTGHMA0EbE
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.175Please respect copyright.PENANApRFWlrDIrZ
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.175Please respect copyright.PENANA7tLHJTKppz
175Please respect copyright.PENANAlatiPc8ktZ
I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.175Please respect copyright.PENANAocfY0jLTsg
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?175Please respect copyright.PENANAuwuV897NDt
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.175Please respect copyright.PENANAVAKU92aKK5
175Please respect copyright.PENANA9Xta4iA5pp
What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.175Please respect copyright.PENANA5dLbFx0LZv
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.175Please respect copyright.PENANAyjyQrCY83L
I shouldn't even have been born.175Please respect copyright.PENANAl5A1LSw9IK
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.175Please respect copyright.PENANA8PPtoDnbM2
....175Please respect copyright.PENANAqNUJYOd4xf
[Deleted passage]175Please respect copyright.PENANA6kjXQzZbP3