Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 5
Linkle leaned forward as Epona broke into a full gallop, the wind whipped rain into her face despite the hood she pulled over her head. Syrup assured her the potion could cure anything, though the subject would be sealed, Zelda was in a desperate place, so that wasn't even a drawback, it was an improvement.
"Your Majesty!" Linkle threw open the door to Zelda's room. Impa, Malron, and the king were relieved to see the black and white mixture in the bottle, "Your poison should be obliterated with a full dose of this potion!"
"I know I'll be funding Maple Syrup from now on." the king sighed, "Not even the best healers or alchemists could come through for us."
Zelda quickly gulped the potion down and fell back, "Ugh, am I supposed to feel lightheaded?"
"I...don't know, Syrup said none of the side effects were harmful." Linkle replied.
"Good enough for me...it's an improvement." Zelda sighed. She turned to see everyone staring at her curiously, "What, am I growing plants on my head?"
"Um, just a stem." Linkle pointed at the top of her head, while Impa brought her a mirror.
"Oh, no! This is terrible!" Zelda squeaked.
"Oh, great and merciful Hero!" the king fell to his knees, "Please, restore my daughter!"
"O-okay, just please calm down, Your Highness, I'll turn her back!" Linkle promised, "That said, the princess's new style is so cute!"
"Linkle, now's hardly the time to fawn over-" Impa lost her train of thought as she smiled at Zelda, "Actually, you have a very valid point."
"Huh, let me see!" Malron looked over Impa and Linkle's shoulders and squealed, "Oh, wow, she's so cute?! How is this Princess Zelda? Nothing about her seems regal or elegant!"
"Hey, Mal, you got pretty loud." Linkle held a hand over her ear.
"Oops, sorry about that!" Malron apologized.
"A-anyways, I should probably go now!" Linkle turned around, "We've got a princess to save!"
"What do you mean 'How do we save the princess?'" Syrup growled.
"Exactly what I said, how do-" Linkle jumped as Syrup slammed her book down.
"You don't, it was a potion, not a poison, the properties of side effects can't be 'cured', you have to wait them out!" Syrup yelled.
"But the king's birthday's coming up, what if you were going to have a birthday and Maple couldn't be there?" Linkle crossed her arms and stared at Syrup, trying not to waiver, lest Syrup through a book at her.
"I don't know," Syrup turned away and grumbled, "guess I wouldn't like that too much...but it's hardly a matter of presence! No, a better question is how would you feel if Malron got sick on your birthday?!"
"Well, that's simple, I'd postpone my birthday until...ah, until she got better!" Linkle clapped her hands together, "I have...the solution!"
"It's hardly a cold." Malron pointed out.
"Oh, right, I forgot, Syrup doesn't know when the side effects wear off...wait, do you?" Linkle stared at Syrup again, trying to be braver until Syrup got bored of being stared at.
"No, I don't...hmm, no that there's even a slim chance it could work, but I could always exorcise her." Syrup shook her head, "Nah, the king wouldn't want that, people would think she's been possessed or something...though I may know of a rumor about a song with healing properties...the Song of Healing...it could restore her—if she was cursed."
"Well, right now she's a cute penguin looking thing that has a sprout growing out of her head." Linkle explained.
"Oh, well, that's a curse...Maple?! Did you remember to clean out the last mixture before starting the healing potion batch?!" Syrup waited for a reply and tapped her foot as Maple ran down the stairs, "Maple, did-"
"No, you cackled and said something about how 'it was ready', and I didn't ask what because I figured you were just baiting me, I just started on the potion...why?" Maple turned to Linkle and Malron and frowned, "Why are these two here? Did Talron eat all the mushrooms again?"
"Maple, the princess is a Kikwi." Syrup revealed, "If word gets out...mass hysteria."
"I-I see...this must remain a secret to everybody." Maple nodded, "Right, so we need an antidote, but for that, we need a base resistant to magic, some ground deku sticks should do it."
"Yes...actually, this is good time for you to practice, plus you could use some more air time!" Syrup heft her gustbellows and hit the trio with a blast of air, leaving three holes in the wall, "And remember to send for a carpenter!"
Maple sailed down on her broom, Linkle shot her clawshots at a tree so she would crash into the ground, and Malron swung across the branches until she reached the ground with a roll. Maple watched the two from her broom and sighed, "That witch is something else, huh? But you two seem to be okay...anyways, we should go find the branches now...wow, she shot us over the ocean! I think she must have augmented that thing with some sort of enchantments!"
"Either that, or Linebeck went all out with his prototype." Malron imagined him flying from one wall of his workshop to another.
"Anyways, where are we?" Linkle wondered.
"Oh, uh, right." Maple looked up at the sky and licked her finger, then held it up. After that she took out her map and nodded, "Alright, then!"
"So, you know where we are?!" Linkle exclaimed, very impressed.
"I can say—without a doubt—that we are most definitely lost!" Maple announced.
"You are incredible, Maple." Linkle sighed.
"It stands to reason we're on a large island," Malron decided, "after all, what small island would have a forest on it? There's not many islands with forests, I think this is Enchanted Forest Island, which would make sense, all manner of magical plants grow here!"
"What a name!" Maple groaned.
"Well, at least we know where we are! Maybe." Linkle took a look at Maple's map, "And look, Hyrule Castle is right here on the map, that's the way we were shot from, right?"
"Right, and if Malron's correct, then I know where we should be going." Maple removed her hat and produced a ball of yarn, she tied the loose end to a tree branch and started off into the woods, "We'll walk on the right side of the forest, but the place is a maze, the worst part is you can't see anything from above...except at night, when the trees move."
"What?! Trees move?" Linkle stared at the forest and shook her head.
"It is Enchanted Forest Island!" Maple reminded them.
"Right, good thing you've got some yarn." Malron noted.
After a few hours Linkle leaned against a tree, "I don't know about you guys, but I think the trees always move."
"You're silly, the trees haven't moved!" Maple laughed, "We've been watching them the whole time!"
"Not all of them," Malron remarked dubiously, "the forest is a big place."
"Well...even then, trees only move at night!" Maple stated.
"Yeah...about that," Malron sighed, "you sure it wasn't something more along the lines of 'All the trees move at night' or 'The only time trees move is at night', because...I'm starting to doubt that the trees are nocturnal."
"U-um...well, I have a Kokiri's Guide to Hyrule, written by a unnamed Kokiri," Maple held out the book and opened it, "let's see...'Enchanted Forest Island: An enchanting little island that isn't little at all, or at least, not to the perception of you other races, for the Kokiri, we can see through the illusion and find the true path. A thing to note: Compasses fail here this is an enchanted island, after all, to go into the woods means certain doom—good thing you're reading before stumbling headfirst into the woods, right? It'd be annoying to read this after getting lost! But for those of you who forgot a something, whipped out the book, and started to look for it, don't give up hope! The thing you probably forgot or will forget is that the trees all move around at night, you'll mistake this for a cool breeze, or realize what it is and cry for your mother.' I...uh, oops?"
"Yeah, this is an oops moment," Malron agreed, "well, there must be something useful in there."
"Um, y-yeah...'After three nights and days of wandering, a prepared adventurer will begin to connect with the mystic powers of the island—which became more forgiving since breaking off from the Lost Woods during an earthquake—on such a profound level they begin to know where they are exactly, that said, your first steps into the woods is probably your safest, as you can still turn back. Of note: The trees will not move if you're watching them or can hear them move, afterwards it'll do it's best to eat you alive, in which case, rest in peace, dear reader, it has been nice being read by you.'"
"Heartening." Linkle sighed.
"Well, the author said the woods only seemed bigger than they are, which explains the paradox that's been recorded over time, of the outside of the island being smaller than the inside." Malron looked down at the yarn on the ground and followed it, Linkle and Maple close behind. At the end of the yarn, which had wound around a few trees several times, they found their tree, but there was no beach, "Just as I suspected, the tree is not on the beach!"
"What, does that mean we've got to stay here for three days?!" Maple screamed.
"And three nights." Linkle added.
"A full seventy-two hours in a strange place," Malron stated wistfully, "that's going to be interesting...I don't take it we have any food or water?"
"It was supposed to be maybe a half day hike." Maple shrugged, "So yeah, we're dead in the water."
"Um, not just yet!" Linkle held her compass out, "Look, I've got this compass, we'll be fine!"
"Um, that compass is just a compass, it can't work." Maple sighed, "Good try though."
"Ah, yeah, I forget, it's a magic compass!" Linkle added.
"So you're that girl that thinks she's the Hero reborn." Maple shook her head, "Okay, well, maybe you are...times like this, I hope you are."
"Oh, don't worry, I am the Hero, in the cloak!" Linkle spun around and held her compass up by a finger, "I've got proof right here. Magic compass, guide us to the object of our quest, the makings of a potion for our princess!"
Suddenly a gold light shot out in the direction they should go, and Linkle led her fellow adventurers into the depths.
Meanwhile Zelda was wondering what she did to deserve the humility she was immersed in, "What does anyone have to do to deserve this? Only Ganondorf deserves this...oh, Nayru, Farore and Din, here he is, speak of the Demon King!"
Ganondorf crossed his arms and grinned at the Kikwi sitting on a footstool, "Ha, ha, ha, I'm hear to take back the crown, where's the princess, plant...penguin...plainguin! Ha, ha, ha!"
"Oh, no you don't, I'm a Kikwi!" Zelda objected, "I will not stand for to be treated this way!"
"Sir!" Aveil saluted Ganondorf, "We could not find the princess anywhere, instead we found was King Daphnes the Dumb and Impa the Tickled! She's smirking about something, and insists it's your goofy hair, sir!"
"Did you say my hair was goofy?!" he roared at Aveil.
"N-no, Sir, I would never—nay, could never think that about your magnanimous hair! It was she who said that about you're hair, and why she thought it was funny."
"Impa, is this true?!" Ganondorf growled.
"Yup, those hair curlers are offensive!" Impa said, with an unfailing grin.
"Ah!" Ganondorf roared at the ceiling.
"How false!" Aveil objected, "His Majesty Ganondorf's hair curlers are fantastic! They remind me of my own grandmother's hair curlers, in fact, I would think that his hair curlers are antiques, relics from another age!"
"And in that age they belong!" Impa spat.
"Ah!" Ganondorf growled again.
"Objection!" Aveil screamed.
"No, but it's true!" Ganondorf cried, "Alas—these are your grandmother's hair curlers!"
"What, but she said she'd kill whoever stole them!" Aveil remembered.
"I know...and so I slew her!" Ganondorf confessed.
"Ugly hair for an ugly heart...it might actually make him look better." Daphnes turned to the floor and spat at Ganondorf's boot.
Suddenly Link and Fi walked into the throne room, the Hero making beeping sounds as he dowsed with the Master Sword.
"Yay!" Zelda cried, "Hurry, Link start fighting Ganondorf, I'll pray for the Arrows of Light that you'll almost certainly need!"
"Grunt." Link coughed.
Fi nodded, "Link says, 'Oh, wow, Zelda, is that you?!'"
"Yes, it's me, Princess Zelda!" Zelda cried.
Ganondorf started laughing and pointed at Zelda, "Wow, that's funny, and unbelievable, the real Zelda would be hiding! But, you know, I might take you with me anyways, just because Kikwis are cute!"
"Grunt!" Link shouted.
Fi nodded, "Link says that Kikwis are most certainly not cute, I disagree, there is only a five percent chance that Kikwis are not cute. In fact, according to my analysis, this Kikwi is a 'D'aw' class Kikwi, in magnitude of cuteness."
"Gasp!" Link cried.
"Indeed, there is such a metric unit of cuteness, I read about it online, I, as you would say, Goggled it." Fi stated triumphantly.
"I'm tired of this," Ganondorf groaned, "what are the odds that Zelda is a Kikwi?"
"And that," Fi announced, "is, as they say, a secret to everyone."
"Ugh." Link slapped his face and shook his head.
"I agree, nobody says that." Ganondorf groaned.
"They will." Fi assured, "But for the benefit of the audience, that chance is five percent."
"Anyways, Link, your blade won't work, it's not at full power." Ganondorf rolled his eyes.
"Huh?" Link offered Ganondorf the blade and Ganondorf held out his hand.
"Sure, I'll hold onto it until you—hey! What are trying to pull?!"
Link laughed quietly, then turned around as the door flew open to reveal the silhouettes of three brave heroes, one with a witch's hat and cape, one with a plain dress, and one with a hood and cloak. They took synchronized steps to the sound of the Ballad of the Wind Fish, which was playing on some device Linebeck was admiring.
"Step back, everybody, this is a showdown with King Ganondorf!" Linkle informed, pulling her hood down.
"You best back down, little Ganon...dwarf." Maple smirked, the wind flipping pages through her book.
"Because we're taking you down!" Malron shouted, holding a bow and arrow with one hand.
"Ah, you dare challenge me?!" Ganondorf roared, "And without the appropriate number of items?!"
"Ah!" Link shouted.
"There is a fifty percent chance that they could be hackers, Master, but there's a one hundred percent chance that they are the 'real deal.'" Fi informed.
Suddenly Ganondorf morphed into a giant pig.
"O-okay, then!" Maple cried, "Little big Ganon-dwarf!"
"Do you have a plan?" Malron wondered, turning to Linkle.
"Yeah...Fi, scan him!" Linkle shouted, "Malron, Maple, get in formation, I'll draw his attention! Hey, Ganon, guess what's in this bottle? A potion! Guess what it does? It'll restore Zelda!"
"And then I can finally pray for the Arrows of Light...for some reason the security measures say I'm an impostor, it doesn't recognize me!"
"Master," Fi turned to Link, "there is a hundred percent chance that Zelda's current form is affected by a lisp, which gives a boost to her magnitude of cuteness, Princess Zelda has now graduated from 'D'aw' to 'Dorbs' status."
"Ugh!" Link nodded in agreement.
"My lisp doesn't make me cute!" Zelda objected, the green pod on her back opened up and she fell face first.
"She is now hiding from view," Fi noted, "her cuteness status has now reached 'Kawaii', and is accelerating. Adding caption...'Me when people say I'm 'Dorbs', adding sunglasses sticker, adding tag, image tagged 'cute' and 'lol', posting image."
"No, now the whole world will think I'm cute and bend to my every whim, and that might mean unlimited chocolate cakes...somebody save me from myself!" Zelda squeaked.
"Also tagging as 'OM3XG 2 CUTE', and 'Kikwi!Zelda', and uploading again." Fi swirled her finger in the air around her, "Somebody retreated from my post? Ah, incoming data...Ganon's weak point is N/A, and requires Arrows of Light."
"On that!" Linkle shouted.
Linkle tossed the bottle to Malron, who tossed it to Maple, who tossed it at Malron as Ganon rushed her. Ganon turned to face Malron, but nothing was in her hand. Ganon heard Zelda gulping down the bottle and found Impa administering the potion, "Too late, Ganon, Zelda's back in the demon slaying business!"
"Goddess of Light!" Zelda shouted, then paused as Ganon turned to her, "Please, grant us the power to smite evil with Arrows of Light!" Zelda squinted as she held her hands up then gasped as one golden arrow fell into her hand and onto the floor, "Oh...we need to pick that one up."
"Ha, ha, ha!" Ganondorf laughed, "You think to slay me with one shiny arrow?! Ridiculous! Stand out of my way!"
"Sir!" Aveil shouted, "The Sages are heading to our location as we-ah!" Aveil fell and picked up the culprit, a single golden arrow."
"Fine, let's finish this!" Ganon breathed, raising a hoof above Zelda.
"Please...Golden Goddesses, hear my plea...let Linkle's arrow find it's mark!" Zelda whispered.
"What was that?" Ganon growled.
"Let her strike without aim!" Zelda winced, glancing up at the hoof above her head.
"Ha, ha, ha, that's right, say your prayers, Hylian princess!" Ganon laughed.
Linkle ran to the arrow Aveil tossed and bounced it up on her knee, and pointed her bow up, then narrowed her eyes and aimed a little lower before firing, the Arrow of Light struck a chandelier on the other end of the room and bounced off a lot of other chandeliers until it intercepted the little box Linebeck threw behind him out of frustration, and they both landed on Ganon's head.
Ganon fell, his form reverted to Ganondorf and Maple opened her book and with a cry of "Nope, Nope...Nopeverse!" Ganondorf vanished, leaving behind only his Triforce, which Maple picked up.
"You know what, we've got the three pieces of the Triforce here!" Linkle pulled her glove down to show her Triforce of Courage.
"I think we should put it to a vote." Maple raised her hand, "All in favor of making Fi a real person? I mean, seriously, who wants to be a robot for thousands of years?"
"You would wish for me to be human...when you could wish for anything else?" Fi was so moved that she became a human without the need of a wish.
"Well...now what?" Maple wondered, "Wish for a few wishes to fix things up as they come along, emergency wishes?"
"Would that even work?" Zelda wondered.
"I say we don't risk it." Malron advised.
"Okay, so," Linkle clapped her hands together, "everyone think, really hard about this, what is the worse thing ever?"
Everyone thought about it for all of two seconds before they reached an agreement, to wipe the possibility of another Ganondorf off the board, thus bringing Hyrule permanent peace, unless someone else tried to take over Hyrule, which was likely, so they kept the Hylian Guard around, to, at least, make people second guess taking over Hyrule as a good idea.
Mini Author's Notes: Maple has joined the party...kind of...let's wish for her to be a recurring character? And Link's here! And silent as ever, though a few people understand what he means, even if it's just a rough idea, which is why even Ganondorf could understand him.
Um, oh, yeah, and Impa took a few swings at Ganondorf's headdress, mainly because that was my first impression for Ganondorf's TP style, he looked a lot like he had his hair curled up and Link caught Ganondorf unprepared, otherwise, it just seems like a very complicated headdress.