Legend of Linkle: Chibi Great Adventures 7
Hug Pounces, Zelda Romance, and Ganondorf Being Weird
Malron looked around outside her home, wondering where Linkle could be. Suddenly the shutters slammed open and when she looked up, Linkle was leaning out the window, "Return of the queen!"
"Zoras?" Malron inquired.
"Nope, nothing serious, just me," Linkle used a clawshot to get to another roof and then to a crate next to Malron, "the Queen of Hug Pounces!"
"You realize I'm your sole target, right?" Malron sighed, "You hardly have many subjects, for a queen."
"But I cherish them all equally." Linkle smiled, then pushed Malron's shoulder, "Now run."
Malron sighed, a wry smirk on her lips, "Fine."
She ran as far as where the path to the woods opened up before she heard Linkle thundering behind her. She narrowed her eyes and turned to Linkle. In the past, sudden change in direction was the only way to avoid getting caught, but this time she had a different goal.
Malron struck her heel into the ground and spun around, crashing into Linkle, "Hug pounce!"
Linkle grunted under the slightly taller redhead and pushed herself up on her arms before falling back down and "I-I see that! Okay, you have me."
"Yes!" Malron laughed cheekily, "I do have you."
"You're still anxious about the Zora, aren't you?" Linkle sighed, "I'm telling you, it's just a parody!"
"Oh, I'm not worried...I'm just wondering when it'll be my turn to get carried."
"But romance is never the center of the adventure-" suddenly Zelda in a pink, realistic-but-not-hardly dress walked by them, accompanied by Illia, "Okay, well, maybe in a bit? Just hang on."
"I'm beginning to fear fate doesn't ship it." Malron sighed.
"Don't worry," Linkle winked, "I'll always be our biggest fan!"
"Senpai!" Ganondorf cried, "Oh man, I'm your ship's biggest fan!"
"Nope." Linkle snapped her fingers and Ganondorf vanished, "I'm not in the mood to deal with yandere Ganondorf...or even mildly fanboy Ganondorf."
The phantom of Ganondorf that started to appear faded, and a Ganondorf appeared up against a tree, "Hmm, Linkle, Malron...don't ask why I'm here, not like I want to rule the world or anything, stupid."
Malron and Linkle exchanged a glance before walking away.
"Of course...leave, not like I wanted to get an autograph, dummy."
Mini ANs: Um...yeah, this is...crazy enough?
Volga wondered how he got into this situation. Some prank of the gods, to send a little girl on his path to Death Mountain to challenge a mighty Goron army, he almost passed her, but looking at her, he realized something was off.
"Hylians are like animals...so where's the human cub's mother?" Volga turned to the sky and thought of sighing a breath of flame, but didn't want to burn the woods, "Human girl, where is your mother?"
The blonde child merely stared at him, clutching a compass in her hands, "I-I...don't...know."
Volga grimaced and the girl ran to hide behind a tree, "Din...what is this you're doing? A test of strength? Hmm...patience is strength...fine, I'll take care of the girl."
Volga stepped to the side, his lips shaking as he turned them into a smile, "Hello, little human cub, it's bad for you to be out in the rain like this, I have a liar five miles into the woods, and until I find your herd you'll have to tolerate my...smile challenged face. Trust me, this is more scary for me than it is for you, I was about to have the fight of my life before you came along, now I have to wait until you've molted to your adult stage before flying to Death Mountain, annoying brat."
Volga took a wrong step and received a hit upside his head from the compass, which landed in his hand, "What...why did you-"
The girl stepped up to him with a grimace of her own. He sighed and tossed the compass next to her, "I don't fight weaklings." suddenly five Skulltulas landed around them, "But it looks like I have no say in the matter...this time."
After a brief fight in which he kept the monsters at bay until they died, he turned to find the human child standing behind him, "Now, we should go before more show up."
"M-my name...is Linkle." the girl whispered hoarsely.
"Okay...Linkle." Volga didn't know why his lips felt weird, but after tracing them he found them curved into some strange shape, but Linkle was smiling at the expression he wore, "Am I smiling?"
Linkle nodded happily and he felt his smile grow bigger.
The years went by and Linkle's metamorphosis was complete, she was was finally an independent human, but for some reason she still hung around.
"Why are you still here? Isn't your adolescent phase complete?" Volga wondered.
"Of course it is, but...I don't know, you are my dad, right?" Linkle crossed her arms, "Besides, I got you hooked on human food, now I can go to the town by myself and you don't need to run around with that green cloak you found on that tree I woke up under."
"It never fit me anyways, it was always so awkward to walk around like that in a city."
"You like humans now, don't you?" Linkle beamed.
"N-no...maybe with one exception...is this what human parents put up with?"
"Ah, I didn't disappoint you, did I?" Linkle whined.
"N-no, of course not! You're...you're going to be the death of me!"
"I'm going to go to the village nearby, okay, Dad?"
"What was that, Dad?"
"Just be careful, remember the powers I taught you and be wary of humans...they don't deserve to count you among them." Volga pulled on an apron he had grown accustom to wearing and pulled out a pan, "Dinner will be done around evening."
"Okay, great Dad, I'll be back in a couple hours!" Linkle closed the door behind her, two seconds later she opened the door again, "You marked the path right?"
"Just follow the coals on the ground." Volga replied.
"Okay, great!" Linkle left again, and opened the door a second time, "Can I have that green cloak? I like green and-"
"Yes." Volga waited for Linkle to leave again, "You want to look like the Hero...but why would you want to save a country that doesn't know you...why do you think our Heroes are forgotten? People forget not the songs...but to sing...and then they forget the songs. Whatever, I know you're a human because you're unreasonable."
Linkle came back a little later than usual, and Volga was halfway to the village when his adoptive daughter and a red haired young woman that he never saw before, "Linkle, you had me worried sick!"
"Sorry, Dad!" Linkle grimaced and the young woman looked between them.
"Um, I know you said I wouldn't believe it...but you're father is a monster?" the woman inquired.
"Linkle...you told her about me?" Volga crossed his arms, "If her herd found out-"
"We were searching for her father, so I said how mine was so reliable an always found me, the reverse of her situation." Linkle explained, "She's very nice, she's loved by a horse that apparently doesn't like anybody much...which is why it was strange the horse liked me."
"My name's Malron." the red head extended her hand and Volga narrowed his gaze, begrudgingly extending his own hand to banish the frown on Linkle's face.
"Volga, I'm Linkle's father." Volga introduced himself, "Excuse my being a monster."
"Monster...is relative," Malron replied, so genuinely, it stung Volga, somewhere in his chest, though he wasn't quite sure where, "you raised such a wonderful person, how could you be a monster?
"How do you make that conclusion?" Volga crossed his arms, "I kept her alive, but she is herself."
Ah, right...you raised such a happy person, so how could you be a monster?" Malron corrected herself, smiling. It was going to be an interesting new point in their lives, from that day Malron appeared in the woods with Linkle.
After a while, the girl and Linkle had taken to spending time together around the liar, which was a place he didn't approve of a human wandering. One evening he found Malron showing Linkle the proper form for wielding a long bow, then handed her the bow. Linkle's form was immediately perfect, so Malron handed her an arrow.
Just as Volga was about to retreat some strong looking Hylian Volga had never seen before ran up to Linkle...who still had the arrow drawn, "Get down!" Volga shouted.
Linkle turned away from the man, arrow pointed to the ground, "Talron, what are you doing here?!"
"Oh, well...I was about to say, dinner's done." Talron waved for them to follow.
Similar occurrences followed, where Linkle and Malron were standing close, one of them usually blushing, and they turn to meet the other's gaze, always to be interrupted by Talron. As a father, he decided he'd have to have a talk with Malron's father, either he was just jumping to conclusion, or it was painfully obvious that the pair—for whatever reason—didn't want to be interrupted.
"Ahem, Talron," Volga began, setting down his glass of milk, "thank you for your hospitality, but I came here to address the issue of our daughters...I fear they may be in love...whatever that is."
"Love? You sure about that?" Talron was perfectly oblivious, but Volga nodded.
"I'm certain...and it seems for all the world that you intend to postpone them...but take it from me, trying to delay the inevitable just makes it hurt that much worse when you fail...I knew Linkle would try to find a herd of humans...um, village, and that we would probably grow further apart...I have decided to embrace the short time left, rather than begin a never ending hike through the woods."
"I still don't see it, I just thought they were real good friends." Talron took another gulp of milk, "But I won't try to stop them either way."
"Yet you always show up at just the wrong moment...it's uncanny."
Volga groaned tiredly. This was one battle he wasn't going to win.
On the way back, in the woods, Talron suddenly ran passed Volga. Upon arriving on the scene, Volga found Talron shouting, while Linkle was rubbing her head against Malron's shoulder.
"Dad...how many mushrooms did you have this time?!" Malron demanded, pulling one hand from behind Linkle's back.
Volga knew it was going to be an interesting, humorous life, on the day Talron's habits came to light.
MA/N: This almost was serious...but that would have required another story. Also, the initials for Mini Author's Notes is pretty funny.
Be Always Ready!
"Linkle," the Great Deku Tree began, "now begins thine quest."
"Yes, Da—uh, Great Deku Tree!" Linkle agreed.
"But be warned: It is dangerous to go alone, take this fairy on thy sojourn." suddenly a red fairy flew over Linkle, "Her name art thine mind's state: Redi."
"Yippee, a guardian fairy!" Linkle started on a jig to celebrate, when the fairy swirled around her, distracting her.
"I'm Redi, your guardian fairy!"
"I'm ready, too, let's go save the world and chew gum!" Linkle reached into her pocket and sighed sadly, "Aw, I'm all out of gum."
At the end they were, Seventh Sage awakened and captured. Now they stood to fight against Ganondorf, and Linkle readied the Master Sword, which consumed—in a great blaze—the three Spiritual Gemstones.
"Ha, ha, ha, tell me, kid, before I kill you in a horribly bloody manner, what is your name?" Ganondorf inquired.
"I am-" Linkle began.
"Redi!" Redi shouted, and Ganondorf held his hand over his chest. He fell to the ground and spewed his corrupted, green blood upon the tiles, but instead of a liquid, it was a vile mist.
"H-how...why?" Ganondorf fell upon the ground with a mighty roar.
"Redi, what did you do?!" Linkle wondered, shocked.
"I spoke out of turn, plus my name was so ironic with what you said that he's dead...his sense of humor was basically corrupted, like his blood, so he can't comprehend a real joke!"
"O-oh...does that mean I don't need the Master Sword?" Linkle wondered.
"Worry about that later, time to carry the second princess in the game!" Redi announced.
"Got it," Linkle grunted as she hefted Zelda upright, "but why do I have to carry Zelda?"
"To show the true power of your compass?" Redi offered, as they walked into a not-really-ambush.
"Makes sense." Linkle mused, untouched, and Zelda opened all the gates with a flick of her wrist.
On the way down the passed Samus, who said something about a Dark Samus holding her up.
As the ran away, Ganon's Tower fell. Linkle turned around and stared at the debris.
"I sense...it's not over yet." Zelda breathed.
"I'll go finish him with the Master Sword, then." Linkle sat Zelda down and drew the sacred blade.
The sacred blade was immediately knocked out of her hand, "Oh, well, looks like I won't, then."
Linkle smiled and grabbed her crossbows, but Ganon was too fast and she couldn't get a hit in before he was within swinging range of her, so she pulled Biggoron's Blade off her back and struck at him. This was the blade she wielded when the Master Sword was still at half strength, back then Biggoron's Blade was four times as powerful as the Master Sword, but now it was only twice as strong, and still half as easy to use, which basically meant it was the same difference, except the enemy might die before it hurt her Heart.
Linkle charged in, deft dodges and well timed blocks and counters. She truly was a weapon master, but then something tragic and unforeseen happened: Biggoron's Blade broke just pass the hilt.
"T-that's fine, we just need to hit his tail, anyways!" Linkle decided, delivering another scratch from her broken blade. Suddenly Ganon fell over and Zelda paralyzed Ganon, then called Linkle back to get the Master Sword, but just as she was half way there, she ran into the wall of fire, "It was a trick?! Ganon was only playing dead...ha, I didn't know old pigs could learn new tricks."
"Hurry, Linkle, grab the blade end and have Redi distract Ganon with a joke!" Zelda suggested, "Meanwhile fuse the blade and hilt back together with the sacred flame of your soul!"
"Oh, good plan!" Linkle approved, "I'll find the blade!"
Linkle ran back to Ganon, rolled under his stubby legs, and looked to her compass, "Seeker, seek out the blade of Biggoron's Broken Blade!"
Linkle ran to the blade and held the two ends together, "Fusing Flames!" suddenly the sword's break was engulfed in flames, but Ganon's stomps interrupted her. She stopped the spell and ran with the two ends, and cast a curious glance at the princess, who was trying to wriggle the Blade of Evil's Bane through the wall of fire.
"Linkle, this is a Diablos X firewall, there's no way the Blade of Evil's Bane can cleave it...ironically enough." Zelda frowned, "Yet it could cut a wall of darkness...maybe it has to do with your soul."
"You'll figure something out if I can't!" Linkle tried to encourage the princess, but Zelda was still glum.
"I don't know...maybe the Arrow of Light can pierce it!" Zelda strung an arrow stepped backwards until the arch was perfect, "Goddess of Wind...please guide my shot!"
Meanwhile, in the Cosmos Castle Observatory, a divine meeting took place.
"Hmm, a call for divine intervention!" Farore reached forward, but the arrow bounced off the firewall's invisible-unless-required-roof, "Aw...and she asked so nicely, too!"
Din stomped her foot, "Fire's my deal, man, he's going down...in a blaze of glory!"
Nayru laughed, "You and your fire jokes! But the battle of the Triforces and their vessels cannot be interfered with directly by the gods who created the Triforce...which means us, unfortunately."
"Well, Zelda is outside the ring...Nayru, can you do anything?" Farore inquired.
"Ah, that's a loophole!" Din cheered, "We can all do something, thanks to the unspecified mention of the 'gods' who made the Triforce, not just Nayru...who's representative is outside the battle."
"Hang on!" Nayru stepped forward and opened her arms, "Zelda gave Linkle advice...she did her part."
All the gods present winced, Nayru was right, there was nothing they could do, so it was up to Farore to send a breeze down to refresh and encourage the Hero.
The time spent in the warm arena was overbearing, and Linkle felt like falling down, but then a gently breeze swept over the battlefield, as evidenced by the movement of Zelda's hair, "Come on, Linkle, the gods are watching! And the one who guides the winds and my Triforce to me...the wind, connected...yet physically not...oh, well, a bad plan is better than none!"
As Redi bombarded Ganon with more jokes, Linkle looked at the two ends of the blade in her hand and used them both on Ganon's tail, sending him down twice as fast. Zelda paralyzed Ganon again and Linkle ran to Ganon's forehead and held the point of the blade to his head, using the palm of her other hand to push the steel point against Ganon's forehead.
"Binding Blade!" she shouted, a golden light shining from her compass and blue lines running along the blade, which sunk into Ganon's skull. He suddenly rose and stumbled backwards, roaring in agony.
Zelda called upon the Sages and they encircled him. Zelda laid a hand on the blade in Ganon's forehead, and with a collective cry, they sealed Ganon away.
Linkle would never forget that word, that one, mighty, demon shattering word. "Nope!"
MAN: Redi's...ready. Okay, so Savi was going to be a red fairy named Redi, but since she was with Link, she had to be blue, so I held onto Redi for later.
Enthused Antics: Add Sage, Pinch of Thyme
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen," Ganondorf greeted, "to Hyrulean kitchen, today we have a very special guest, Linkle!"
The curtains raised to reveal Linkle standing alongside the Sages.
Impa held up two frying pans, Linkle aimed her crossbows and shouted, "Lava Bomb!" and two fiery orange blasts exploded against the frying pans.
Zelda, standing behind Impa, readied several arrows, all had bacon strips skewered to them, with a cry of "Scattered Light Pierce!", the arrows rained upon the pans, sticking holes through them.
Rutilah ran towards Linkle with an arm full of tomatoes. Linkle knelt down and boosted her so she could scatter the tomatoes onto the frying pans, she slung slivers of water at the red orbs before they even got close to the frying pan, and shouted, "Aqua Slice!"
"Meanwhile the other Sages are working on the dough!" Ganondorf announced, rotating the stage to reveal a green haired Sage standing before the wheat.
"Rising Gale!" she cried, jumping with a spin, catching the grain that flew up in a sack, then tossed it to Dargun.
"Boulder Roll!" Dargun shouted, strapping the sack to his back and rolling around until the he ground up the contents into flour.
Rutilah chopped some lettuce while the others worked on throwing the ingredients around before setting it aside.
"But we don't have all day for the dough to rise, so they'll use the bread they made earlier!" Ganondorf announced.
Impa slammed the pans into the counter, freeing bacon and tomatoes from the skewering arrows, and emptied the pans onto the bread and added lettuce, then Ru, Sage of Light, carried the sandwich to Nabooru, who sprinkled sand on it and sat a fork next to it. Having put the sand into sandwich, Ru brought the sandwich to Ganondorf and passed the plate to him.
Ganondorf took one bite before spitting out the food, and took the water Malron offered him, "Wait, Malron?!" Ganondorf gasped.
"Ha, ha." Malron grinned and took the fork off the plate the Sages have given them, the curtains closed, stage set for the ultimate assassination plot.
MANs: Linkle's role was kind of small, but as the Hero, she has the power to cook with the Sages, what more do you need? This was made to answer that age old question which keeps us all up at night: Just how many Sages does it take to make a sandwich? The answer is seven, one to add the sand. Thank you, good night, I'm here all week. Easiest one week vacancy ever.806Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LW2LQUmv4