Hi there. My name is Scuttlefluffers. Ugh. Even saying it sounds stupid. I hate my mom for naming me that. Anyways, I'm a thirty year old immortal vampire unicorn. My mom was a unicorn. What the heck was wrong with my dad that he, a vampire, would want to marry a unicorn? I don't know. He left me and my mom years ago. I don't care.
I was on my way to my first day of my senior year at high school when I saw someone. A girl. Most girls seem to find me handsome, flirt with me, and cry when I hate them. They're not right for me. They all are horrible.
But... This girl was different. I wanted to know her name. She looked so ordinary, and yet so pretty. Prettier than every other girl I met combined. I needed to know who she was.
I walked over to her. "Hey," I said. She looked at me, clearly annoyed.
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" she said. The bell rang then, meaning I needed to be in class. I used my teleportation powers to travel through space and time to get to class, and then the girl was sitting next to me. So, I tried talking to her again.
"Hi. I'm Scuts. What's your name?" I asked. She glared at me.
"Quit it. I know you're trying to flirt. I'm never finding love here. Nobody here is good enough." I touched her hand and she flinched. "I... I'm Veronica."
Don't tell her, but I used unicorn magic to change the entire timeline to make her like me. Totally not creepy. I know creepy. Trust me, I'm a thirty year old vampire who hasn't left high school.
I smiled and asked her to sit with me at lunch. She nodded, and agreed to. All the girls sitting around us burst into tears, upset that I chose her over them.
At lunch, we sat together and ate. She told me that she was a new student, and she was the daughter of the devil. She was also a very nerdy nerd, claiming that she could say so because she watched four episodes of Doctor Who and watched the Harry Potter movies. I told her three magic words. "I love you." All the girls around swooned, except for Veronica. She said the words back, and then we kissed in the lunchroom, and walked out of school to fly into the sky and we lived happily ever after for the next week, and then my abuse of the spacetime continuum destroyed the universe. The end.ns 188.8.131.52da2