After the visit to the cemetery, I decided I wanted to go home and talk to my mom about the letter I found. I hadn't talked to anyone about it and I wanted to discuss it with her before my session with Dr. Alder tomorrow. I wonder if she would tell me to find him, or stay here and just wonder what could have been.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSu7LF9epO
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I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do. In all honesty, I hadn't thought about the letter for awhile. It's not that I didn't want to, it's just that to me, there were more pressing matters at hand. Like the nightmares. Something told me they were just going to keep getting worse. And what if I had a dream about killing Jared, and then he's found dead?468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPPJuncybP
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Even though I'm not actually the one doing these things, it's terrifying to know that someone is. I feel like whoever it is, is trying to get to me, because they're murdering the people around me. First John, then Cassie. Who was next? That was the hardest thing to thing about. About who out of the people around me would be savagely killed, either shot, stabbed, or whatever else the killer chose to do to them.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEFcQL30mQ
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These were the things I thought about as Jude drove me to my house. We didn't talk about Abbie, though I was curious, and we didn't talk about the kiss that never should have happened. We didn't talk about anything he turned down my road. Then he turned to me, his eyes serious.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30JSMV47TS
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"Kendall." His voice was urgent now. "I have to tell you something."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EnbBNjsOl
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I looked at him. "If it's about the kiss, don't worry about it. I know it was wrong, that I shouldn't have done it. I have a boyfriend."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiAqyWCqMw
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Jude scoffed. "Right. A boyfriend who just pushes you away and leaves you standing alone in an empty school parking lot. Tell me, have you heard from him since then?"468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkRalFH3wA
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"Well no."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgK2CdNalil
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"Exactly. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao8zs1Om1E
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"Can it wait?" I asked as we pulled closer to my house. I opened the door and looked back at him.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYngds0CQTe
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"No," he said, shaking his head. He reached over and cupped my cheek. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," he murmured, more to himself than me. "It was just fucking business, I was not supposed to get attached."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFgLfJlLTH
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I blinked, removed his hand, and said, "What's going on?"468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERRrj6OApO
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"Do you think it was by luck that I began talking to you? I wish it was. I wish I wasn't in this shitty situation, but I am, and I'm about to make it worse."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HI5XxEwKT
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"What are you talking about?"468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptow7EMt0a
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The fact that he couldn't even look at me hurt. Slowly, I grasped his hand and held it tightly.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGAn0Ypd3a
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"You can tell me anything, you know. I'm not going to judge you."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b4xFw2IPm
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He looked at me and smiled. The smile was all wrong. It wasn't warm or caring, but like he knew whatever he had to tell me I wasn't going to like. That maybe I would hate it. Maybe I would hate him. I didn't think that last part was possible.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXRqj94a74
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"I was paid a lot of money to befriend you, Kendall. I was supposed to get information about you for someone. I don't even really know who the guy is, but anyway, I don't want to do it anymore. I care about you and I'm not willing to ruin what I have with you for a few bucks."468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQFuQ5ZKAa
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I couldn't believe what he was telling me. I was so mad that I started to tremble. Every part of me wanted to hit him. When I spoke, my voice was chipped, bitter.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1dt8GQ8e0
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"How much money?"468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJHCGdnI9S
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"Excuse me?" Jude said. He stammered a little when he said it. He wasn't expecting that question.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhVoTQowuc
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"How much money were you offered to put up a false friendship? How much was my agony worth to you?" I glared at him. "How fucking much?" I slammed my foot into the dashboard of his car, breaking the glove compartment open. Papers fluttered out and I heard him make a noise, then I looked down.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zn5upSIsZ
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My face, all different angles and views, stared up at me.468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjK2V9NzDw