Oppa. She always hesitated to use that word. The intention was too confusing, she thought. How was he supposed to know if she meant “oppa” as in “older brother” or “oppa” as a term of respect for an older guy she knew… or “oppa” as in “honey…” “darling…” “sweetheart?”864Please respect copyright.PENANAf4R5uFKrAk
It was unfair for a word to have so many meanings. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the only word in any language to have such nuances, but it was one word whose meaning should be absolutely clear and without question.864Please respect copyright.PENANAohOUzOLdQs
He started walking to school and back home with her everyday. It wasn’t planned. He lived two floors above her. She had hurried out of her apartment one day, shouting exasperated agreements at whatever her mother was saying, only to come face-to-face with him on the stairs. That was when it started.864Please respect copyright.PENANAOHYuJtcAP3
She would walk beside him, listening to him speak, trying to think of the right things to say. Her clammy fingers would find their way to the skirt of her school uniform and clutch at the fabric. She’d wipe her hands as subtly as she could, just in case he one day decided to hold her hand. She always wondered if he would have noticed her if they didn’t live in the same building.864Please respect copyright.PENANAZBslf6Jj7h
All the while, her mouth would rebel against her efforts to call him oppa. Honey. That was what she meant, and she wanted so much for him to know. How was it so easy for the other girls to call the boys oppa? They didn’t waste any effort doing it. She was the only one who seemed to have something broken inside her.864Please respect copyright.PENANAQ88ZSHryQG
In a fit of desperation, she took to listening to Girl’s Generation’s Oh! on repeat. “Oppa, oppa, I’ll be down, down, down, down,” she sang with them. Maybe if she said it over and over, it would be easier to finally say it when it counted.864Please respect copyright.PENANARDRYQ4T8BD
And it seemed to work.864Please respect copyright.PENANA8c1eizMUEn
For the first time, she responded to his question with, “Yes, oppa.”864Please respect copyright.PENANAU2GqzgRALN
Her heart ballooned in her chest, sweet spring air that smelled of cherry blossoms filling her lungs. This was her confession. He had to finally know how she felt about him.864Please respect copyright.PENANA2PHpj0wEPg
He patted her head as though she were a child—or a puppy.864Please respect copyright.PENANAzBduhaFV3K
“I’m so glad you’re finally calling me oppa,” he said. “I think of you as a little sister too.”864Please respect copyright.PENANAOsYKeJuJKB
Oppa. She could imagine the deceptively innocent word pointing and laughing at her.864Please respect copyright.PENANA4DZBYhPD2Q
Boy, did she hate it.864Please respect copyright.PENANAZwc45vMmV9