Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEoC2uXfiI
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHpRJMHjuk
“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKntqEjGPCE
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Fhtwtr4q9
The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7PbLMMXx9
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUO90U8HLl
“I love you,” he said.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YC8Wexv8O
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ulv8tRKrc
“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV6i0uhc1V
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDcEiIeAjx
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBdbpLYtU6
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2k5kHmLUnj
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKgDZjaspK
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTxIGm4344
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUotlxBEkY
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUuXtEx4AW
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF9OgTNjgO
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFwf5upwkL
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1a4oqx4Yb
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhDwWKeIPW
She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqdHjyoSFb
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB31IDqTVcB
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhODIoiN9uN
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPCNy8Xw1t
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfIgWHZKsN
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjWhDtNzpz
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY7O4xSzM0
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJDx7E1eC3
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsSVTc72dZ
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCThbYyczxN
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8LoGAiGPj
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNKgNOBCZn
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9gsK7YqOD
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFWNbF1aU4
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45Yw6i2dgf
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiouGDRfUJN
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCIicIfLVJ
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfl0omYdOou
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzesdhKXR2q
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iBEDPtGkF
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTrP7dFLz2
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe57a0hRjk
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ3CTMVY7h
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyDlVxms5Y
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkx4oK1XVh
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVd6Zo5jTma
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyt7XuHm3lB
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzfUg7JBA8
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdErbiaOkzV
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9rU0G9pvG
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBphcyQvUU
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiBWh1tIyq
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pNjmHivcl
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLnC0oZp1J
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtP0NUCOqI
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDa3pYQsgD
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWGiCmyFL6
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSLBxtZHyp
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmKa8YiYrU
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzU9SErTbC
“Oh, Master’s then?” 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVlgWudMVT
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCbvWdJpLW
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXn40FTtZ2
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpanjuGX0de
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhINwtGHtg
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQl03Qjvdw
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSurJ5Bna0
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9rrYHJdhF
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZrRMzNvQm
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQzFr8Jxpd
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81AO7fM4e6
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU7frtjYpn
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzg9wpQUWQD
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC4KJpDlds
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNi0PMqqvF
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj1hlfBvKV
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDNziA5fMs
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpD1f950KQ
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xUHP62Nrn
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgrdEVZ8Sf
It isn’t possible.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Cyd7fGUiv
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWvAvbhFTU
He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrACWgnQn8C
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLwaG15JhZ
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMWqwhzJpj
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOScz0yGwrC
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIz5hEvOom
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3ItwqI59k
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c8FMxsWPw
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bLYsZeUDL
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E6xBNouL2
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP990i88Zi5
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgADKCEIBEH
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRtMpiqGTL
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqpqJfUvt4
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrz7wCfQcZh
“Like what?” he said.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7LDiNKXL7
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLysAEIeVUf
“Getting married, having kids,” she said.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJlxQUBuI5
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIh6kYe1TV0
“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZidu17MJ8c
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKEDk76HmE
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28IAB81Mka
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGEu66cz1T
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NAT7oNR9V
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VHMBrw8xt
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIAbB4ZMRu
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOndrvXkTQ2
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInrG2GiVrI
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQghPekKCW
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYPI9uzYwW
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ0WclF111
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6bsd9UNLF
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQbihwytWI
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA5IUqVG9V
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbywkBOHED
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn4yr1HP7O
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvqKNHexM6
“Who are you?” she murmurs.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQYOJG40jI
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioYVPjWYM7
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt1U7vefy5
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7ezH2rBJz
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8Bl6wQbYv
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyPljYdOp4
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sOVkRbano
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAitkJJUXC
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95HzB02rbp
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1WLiUPykQ
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6im68zEiny
460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTbBuPbkJH
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.460Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8XQg1LkoM
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