Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZJcRFmXgv
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9QeNeXPTn
“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqFRSfPDlA
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1zUBAMSGf
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleIj81FbHM
“I love you,” he said.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjlCqXSQdk
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrnQYWioOa
“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWywN9hucV
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKlkfMiE2W
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOP9aq181Xl
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXExDXsjwi
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFhvbuyITa
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNelefS8xu
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE7EPgqBLk
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJcBiNIEPV
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIs85TBFaGD
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQetcqi6Kj
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWUFDCzW76
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMtgX5IUdL
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlClr5ACzKo
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2RQNduwX9
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2skZKrjktW
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEgiOJHgIr
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv08DTBW2am
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfQYTA7cqW
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtQKfNOxD6
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6sem5Frrv
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtMCOvrhLR
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFHnu0VPnD
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqyWGODCpa
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEq9bLRX07i
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1C4uNh2VF
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IUHBLQREk
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPvSXNiYFp
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4j6KE9rSKV
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITB7KTXzRN
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpptyP45ZEh
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLXZcUw7WQ
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGCbmRdrGw
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpLmvtiLae
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMLtHK5pXJ
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEdCTlLr4L
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXJcqB6bDM
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFjfELKxFc
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWz820P2rZy
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZkD8Cii8b
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2Jr4uDefg
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAYMJLaEVI
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iOnEaVhEW
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoALGQW3Id0
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoPGSbfbst
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcXOnfAuGE
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbThO2gcCR
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytq8Fu6Ehh
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujX5fbtA61
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58D5LF1KNN
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rNN4fOgfE
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4hf6GxF9W
“Oh, Master’s then?” 798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWgChLd6H0
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6pudg9ypX
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4NSyaGBV0
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOSkXf6V0E
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXbpQDgtJQ
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexsL8xVoWh
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMME4NzaIaf
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4AmpHlz7g
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO0B5ByuXP
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq3j5IeFOn
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbXar1JDwK
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NzAR0gRPl
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte2TFfaxSu
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYu53ks8kr
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1lI5qR2tU
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7w4EJSqct
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvCTuL2DiT
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZscIt5MTa
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wDwxSyYgl
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9w90c6wWT
It isn’t possible.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPllW5SWtga
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBIA1hxmUE
He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkUTixkNaT
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSorQISxEY
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6taGmsyu5E
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOdMTbgPpK
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssBC3NYUNR
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWGwROjWgk
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SbBL79JmG
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIoEykHyQx
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2yHMAWEXr
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EFCHugUYT
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcv7XrCzMuc
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4UU1T51vn
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27cE9IBr7t
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2cCKSydNT
“Like what?” he said.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0flSBDTo4S
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVY4B7kAS0K
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdaVJuEA8B
“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwN2ORKegqD
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7fL77Jf9R
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeRMvNB3hZ
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyen4B7LGh
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJN5OZvwg8
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREBO4fdy1W
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUmlsinvsU
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCM5zbrWcQ
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0q3pkOZG1
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun76q60KSE
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZdaJ2nqXk
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nioZNTQzY
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡap5NJc6ASh
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmylFKtgwwX
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyDyyWV9zM
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsO81mqLI8
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjORXaAWWFc
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7hYGhk7iV
“Who are you?” she murmurs.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwEcxvys5y
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFRsFnfwgj
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyL1UeBbXi
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkJHJ58cWy
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvME3Me6Ay
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAVXSQwTYs
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCgFuUPOuk
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03qWt1Vs1B
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhD0fsmW0mU
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOcBF3JR59
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzLqKwxcqr
798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZKqT5VLbm
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.798Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVk3t8Y65i
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