Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTzow2j1T9
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOSKmGMJFW
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdwOcrgNn1
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“I love you,” he said.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlo6WSpFSR
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11xJa9lwZa
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“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6CK7ThjOw
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“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKw4GXFu4ys
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“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlBd8pjXMf
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“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKFz3d0x6c
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“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mRJehMBCw
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVpFNQJ5Vl
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The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBUItfmVGY
808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtjCOyuTWN
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bGhQTqWov
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“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJObihxwO6D
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She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujZXoi1iRG
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It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCugBOg3m6E
808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZRKapR5C3
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbosrgflGH
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Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bTxhK8GGQ
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He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkQXnqxdB4
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He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvNl6rsjZ6
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He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gJa9Zute9
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One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZsSwMl4qa
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“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbOA2gI95C
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“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jO8kVyxrS
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“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0QDifPp7G
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“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzptbBbGG0J
808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwBE0EVnbG
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUEsPU9syj
808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaecq4JYrf
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrVJxvccJS
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“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmljJE4ZktH
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“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xc27J1VnU
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxvPYjtg5q
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“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ617hlol8d5
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOzNrUOn3u
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Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFm6LDt4Oe
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“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBWo0YzlGi
808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjPZsun6Uq
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ329J0qFgsl
808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCHL87rcvM
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBNcFyYdMZ
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He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMeCteVFFJ
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He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKU9n7ohk1H
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He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcY4ZQC8qJb
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It isn’t possible.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbYJ3aqBvC
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ux2i0M2ba
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He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmgR2WONgr
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Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJi0lZ1Gun
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If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn2BKlRofr
808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BHly1MdFs
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZKe8SLbqg
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtmPpTjCD3
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“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkBe5mLmjy
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“Like what?” he said.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUf6RcI8DN
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMYy8jLIzp
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNTEs7ebIY
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr76GIFCn2
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivJK29ZCKW
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFSaO5TRqV
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIrrp7gjh4
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i3oMJzt3E
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXr6EHAqNz
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Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpp0ys0gbp
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Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hlFdL5Pb6
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0LSuWfRkL
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTjiIT6x9i
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“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUh6cWpjVM
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“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKcNnjT3i9
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He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24K6xDJ25Y
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZFETN51J5
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wXTUytAwy
Penana
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