(原作:美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍)
我是鬼,五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印,今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。583Please respect copyright.PENANARoKSve4oWq
583Please respect copyright.PENANAJQLSsscnGm
「啊,我不小心撞到了。」583Please respect copyright.PENANAwge0TyuG6Z
583Please respect copyright.PENANAyhlTseJOPi
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架,那十字架做工精細,將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生,偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子,這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動,嚇得他面色一陣發白。583Please respect copyright.PENANA8BoWBOLO21
583Please respect copyright.PENANA8TMsxJn2Us
我滿意點頭。583Please respect copyright.PENANAE3VOAJluNF
583Please respect copyright.PENANAu9tGxJ7HOf
很好,這就是我要的效果,愧疚吧!顫抖吧!你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧!583Please respect copyright.PENANAqoFqk1APrj
583Please respect copyright.PENANAiZWJ72sg2W
一旁的高個青年放下行李,接過十字架研究了會,搖頭說:「沒辦法,賠錢吧。」583Please respect copyright.PENANA7Abe98RVub
583Please respect copyright.PENANAZMNJoAgquz
「不知貴不貴?」583Please respect copyright.PENANA69mbqZ61Mz
583Please respect copyright.PENANAZjVWKv9hZu
「應該還好。」583Please respect copyright.PENANA7lACiXYm92
583Please respect copyright.PENANA4Dg9rlSf53
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」583Please respect copyright.PENANACtHyAQVZNV
583Please respect copyright.PENANAQgbYTylryq
「我也是,也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」583Please respect copyright.PENANAWQdoxYt0LW
583Please respect copyright.PENANAG9MXgYtC1z
兩人說著,就扔下十字架,各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器,分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。583Please respect copyright.PENANAR6hZLAIOWl
583Please respect copyright.PENANAy7U1ilMjYp
我震驚了。583Please respect copyright.PENANAXQxC0qV1tx
583Please respect copyright.PENANAJMr5ebYMcx
不對啊,你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎?怎麼可以這麼鎮定?583Please respect copyright.PENANA0MlIbKaDH8
583Please respect copyright.PENANARGejYQsOii
話說回來,剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言?583Please respect copyright.PENANAot5v3VSjzK
583Please respect copyright.PENANAduBh1HwMgj
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊,「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎?」583Please respect copyright.PENANAK0qBPPm1eN
583Please respect copyright.PENANAxAO3LGCSuw
喔,總算聽到熟悉的語言,我立刻湊過去,邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計,誰知我一靠近,就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。583Please respect copyright.PENANAq7EBSx3cXC
583Please respect copyright.PENANAfnrwPrzskp
What the hell?583Please respect copyright.PENANAtyAP9rWdMN
583Please respect copyright.PENANA8bIMn2KHhD
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西?為何每一個拆開我都懂,合起來我就看不懂?難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文?583Please respect copyright.PENANAVAZlVYsIDf
583Please respect copyright.PENANAi6vLoNp1Xb
幸好我躲了半天,都沒感覺到不適,才又慢慢飄過去,聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話,什麼Project,什麼Function,If不If,還有……Parent & child?583Please respect copyright.PENANA7ffzJF9DtR
583Please respect copyright.PENANAC260b3ytAt
嘶——583Please respect copyright.PENANAUvgBbZ98gO
583Please respect copyright.PENANAVYLuZuLkcN
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉,開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣,管他們是日本人還是越南人,就算是印度來的,只要是活人,這口糧我都吃定了!583Please respect copyright.PENANA24BGxdKV1p
583Please respect copyright.PENANAHF6huIKJZt
陰風輕輕地吹,一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。583Please respect copyright.PENANAYe9WGhVGil
583Please respect copyright.PENANAXN5DZC4K3l
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦?很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑,捶了高個子一記。583Please respect copyright.PENANA5wSyBjJQyI
583Please respect copyright.PENANAPq3fikGw2a
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭,投以茫然目光,「哈啊?什麼?我聽不懂。」583Please respect copyright.PENANAXK3OBxQCOs
583Please respect copyright.PENANATzjtuUMVGE
矮個子撇了撇嘴,咕噥一句「又來!」就看回「鎮鬼經文」,「沒什麼,你看這裡……」583Please respect copyright.PENANAK3uGfMdRmv
583Please respect copyright.PENANAm5esajc43g
「 嗯。」高個子應完,就順手攬住矮個子的腰,看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。583Please respect copyright.PENANAyDaZ3hh6Bn
583Please respect copyright.PENANA3hxTH3Qafq
我也投以茫然目光,感覺哪裡怪怪的。583Please respect copyright.PENANAsVGbTj00on
583Please respect copyright.PENANAu9G7wnDa3o
但身為一個高端的鬼,必須不能使用重複伎倆,於是我飄到高個子身邊,俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語,「嘻嘻嘻,要不要陪我玩?」583Please respect copyright.PENANAxfVzrSlOEz
583Please respect copyright.PENANA9q2a1VnOh7
然而高個子不為所動!583Please respect copyright.PENANAEcpHP4F2R5
583Please respect copyright.PENANAB5LILR67fZ
我不死心,再說:「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了?」583Please respect copyright.PENANAsXXyczIFSX
583Please respect copyright.PENANA5Z2KKNN7ar
高個子依然面不改色!583Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9A6hZrEtV
583Please respect copyright.PENANAaEUYTR01LG
我大怒,直接用吼的,「你死定了!我要殺了你!殺殺殺!」583Please respect copyright.PENANAVlymwGKXwo
583Please respect copyright.PENANAihwQwfTXz0
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵,取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。583Please respect copyright.PENANAkKOb86HmHu
583Please respect copyright.PENANAZEIWThG906
這一刻,我吐血,如果鬼還有血的話。583Please respect copyright.PENANAMnR56UC8D8
583Please respect copyright.PENANAgIb7hp7k9r
矮個子比手畫腳地問:「怎麼了?」583Please respect copyright.PENANA1UoBkfEAbc
583Please respect copyright.PENANAv46VMdJsI1
高個子搖搖頭,「助聽器有點雜音,大概之前下雨淋到了。」583Please respect copyright.PENANADyfCepICGN
583Please respect copyright.PENANA9jR7GDZWhd
馬的!原來這傢伙是個聾子!583Please respect copyright.PENANAIYFD82fStV
583Please respect copyright.PENANArMcuaWPcH4
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉,直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器,起身從行李掏出衣物,一前一後地進了浴室,我才精神一振。583Please respect copyright.PENANAwEqB6ZAvZn
583Please respect copyright.PENANAmZ2gXiadBH
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係,才讓我出師不利,現在就應該趁他們不在,先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前,準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時,就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物,那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛,這殺傷力不大,但污辱性極強!583Please respect copyright.PENANAJSjZgrtk68
583Please respect copyright.PENANAJULuEPYYDZ
這時,浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。583Please respect copyright.PENANA11bMG4LtZt
583Please respect copyright.PENANARsKqTWUj3I
「為什麼要擺那包零食?」583Please respect copyright.PENANAI6sAJJfGBN
583Please respect copyright.PENANAXl3L8u0cnl
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神,只要有綠乖乖,所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」583Please respect copyright.PENANA3GdFHfOhNU
583Please respect copyright.PENANAGQltXoQ6Pg
「所以不能吃嗎?」583Please respect copyright.PENANAFJbROplcI7
583Please respect copyright.PENANAgQA2kvCaqd
「不能,吃了就沒用了。」583Please respect copyright.PENANAaPQhSENnEu
583Please respect copyright.PENANAy9ayiBMKXy
「但我餓了。」583Please respect copyright.PENANAYYJMJOnW8P
583Please respect copyright.PENANArcvMsQboaQ
「……」583Please respect copyright.PENANAjS8dnQAoyx
583Please respect copyright.PENANA9pAvVjGaLj
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智,絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁,只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看,便動用所有力量顯現身影,以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室,並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。583Please respect copyright.PENANASUF3hb3WKQ
583Please respect copyright.PENANAWzWjohn1tV
哇哈哈哈,驚嚇吧!恐懼吧!人……583Please respect copyright.PENANAMfZUNNBVXf
583Please respect copyright.PENANAEzpEhhBkPW
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」583Please respect copyright.PENANAZhybfNeGkz
583Please respect copyright.PENANAuc4nDnhdQD
「小語……小語……」583Please respect copyright.PENANA4T0CvlvNYG
583Please respect copyright.PENANAd52X94ybQS
Gya——583Please respect copyright.PENANAUBt8pxYanH
583Please respect copyright.PENANAXpyVANAJod
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。583Please respect copyright.PENANAFIUKUZ3ZmX
583Please respect copyright.PENANAXgahaoHass
They are fucking gay!583Please respect copyright.PENANA05yaP6UPjv
583Please respect copyright.PENANAXoSincqanb
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在,徹底嚇破我的小心靈,讓我一秒縮回十字架,還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。583Please respect copyright.PENANA4OLkeeYzM7
583Please respect copyright.PENANAVbbNg01dbh
Oh no!No!No!No!No!Hell no!583Please respect copyright.PENANAvnOjgXxRuT
583Please respect copyright.PENANA5HlnfBRT9C
五十年過去,沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下,上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊!我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。583Please respect copyright.PENANARHL38WpqzK
583Please respect copyright.PENANAeyclFU3gj9
浴室裡,秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人,沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧,「等、等一下,你剛有沒有聽見什麼?」583Please respect copyright.PENANA5IsY32iQsO
583Please respect copyright.PENANAQfabWtPoWI
「嗯?什麼?」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺,臉上的神情既迷離又色情,顯然是又聽不見。583Please respect copyright.PENANA8XZmXCopcB
583Please respect copyright.PENANAzhn9gKyRTf
秋瞇了瞇眼,心想算了,就夾緊雙腿,繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。583Please respect copyright.PENANAMLBi96R4hP
583Please respect copyright.PENANAKCWHgvAbwl
Treat or trick,不給糖,就「搗」蛋!583Please respect copyright.PENANAatasiGHL73
583Please respect copyright.PENANAUnaTYpir7Q
(P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼,觀念保守,用詞不政確,請見諒(艸)583Please respect copyright.PENANASTRNKK0rih
後記:
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動,這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍,恰逢萬聖節,就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動,真的是非常有趣的體驗,為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記,結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格,來寫個憂鬱正經風,讓文友猜不到我是誰,但我想來想去,實在想不到切入點,就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外,抽到我的文友是君羊,寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷,喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看!
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
583Please respect copyright.PENANAcnSQf4od9V