"I'm so glad that you've decided to give our relationship a second chance," my mother gushes as I sit before her in the dimly lit living room. I've decided to make good on my promise with Kwamé, despite the high level of discomfort that I feel when in a room alone with this woman. 502Please respect copyright.PENANA7PUWAtCz1C
"I don't want to hate you anymore, and I'm trying to be a good example to Kwamé." When her eyebrows come together in confusion, I further explain the situation.502Please respect copyright.PENANAGc81zA2dzF
"I want him to forgive himself."502Please respect copyright.PENANA0VvR1ni0vx
"I wouldn't put much faith into that," she replies warily, as if it is not possible. This concerns me, seeing that she knows him much better than I do. So why would he promise... 502Please respect copyright.PENANAQmTVYJIu57
"Why?" I ask her, eager to understand. 502Please respect copyright.PENANA5RdSyAPHlJ
"Because I've been trying to get him to do that for years," she informs me in a grave voice. "He's as stubborn as an ass. Nothing will get him to let that go."502Please respect copyright.PENANA4BEcpv76XR
"Well, we made a pact." She looks at me as if the notion of a pact to change his mind is utterly idiotic. "Anyway," I say, changing the subject before I get upset with him, "I'm here now. So how about you elaborate on that tale you were telling me?"502Please respect copyright.PENANA38Q6l4iroh
Her face shuts down as she desperately tries to hide her emotions. Always hiding something from me. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAFGquxaAWdN
"I told you a lot. Honestly, what else could you want to know? And aren't you curious about unlocking your powers?"502Please respect copyright.PENANAaUdXXQomdo
No, I'm actually much more concerned with the truth. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAboaC1hmLAc
"Stop trying to change the subject," I demand. "I want to know more about this person who wanted me when I was a baby." I almost laugh out loud, remembering the ridiculous, pathetic excuse of an origin story that she fed me the last time we spoke. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAbJAGKuc32z
"She's evil and she's in the past." 502Please respect copyright.PENANAxBZO1jj3PB
Past my ass. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAYubtbb6L1L
I stomp my foot on the ground and then throw myself further back into the couch, like a small child. Something caused by me not getting what I want, because I'm so used to getting what I want. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAuObj2I8c54
"Why are you still afraid of her?" I demand. "What is she gonna do? Come and kill you?"502Please respect copyright.PENANAXJv8BWbS53
"She might," my mother responds under her breath. I don't think that I was meant to hear that.502Please respect copyright.PENANAztP2UvlZeu
"So she's not in the past, then?" I challenge. I refuse to let this go. I have every right to know the truth. And the way she's contradicting herself means that she's obviously lying about something. 502Please respect copyright.PENANA6uFoM3xS7o
"Yes, she is. I just don't think—"502Please respect copyright.PENANAeq7yEMxXGi
"That I'm ready for it?" I ask. I swear, this us getting very old, very quickly. "Because I assure you, I am. I don't think that there's anything that you could tell me—"502Please respect copyright.PENANAMysTY5l7J8
"She was a River Mumma," my mother rushed out, only to look as if she regrets it right after. Regrets telling me the truth. On the inside, I'm shaking my head. I am surprised (I thought that she would be human), but I'm not freaking out like last time. I'm not surprised that River Mummas exist. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAsJchKIsNOk
River Mummas are mythical — well, apparently not so mythical after all — creatures that live in Jamaica's rivers. If I were to compare them to another creature, I'd go with the siren. They often sit on rocks and comb their hair with a golden comb. They say that if you see one, you'll fall into a magical trance and that she'll drag you into the river. Some say that she'll force you to live with her for eternity.502Please respect copyright.PENANAhaE80yE6zV
There is also the legend of a golden table that they can use to lure the greedy.502Please respect copyright.PENANAGgvbM0Z12J
"The golden table—"502Please respect copyright.PENANAdyV2fI8Xrq
"Isn't a myth. It's real. Is that really the first thought that comes to your mind? I tell you that you were almost abducted by a River Mumma and you ask about a Golden Table?" She's not trying to goad me into asking questions — I know that she doesn't want to talk about this — but I think she's just incapable of keeping her surprise to herself. I'd be surprised, too. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAP7uw5UCCST
I sit and think of a better question to ask her, but one that she won't refuse to answer. If she does that again I might jump her. 502Please respect copyright.PENANArG56rsxBLE
"Um... if I'm human, how would she have gotten me?" What did she plan on doing? 502Please respect copyright.PENANA8h4LYy0Lo5
"Turn you into one." I'm beginning to realise that the answers to a lot of my questions are far simpler than I originally thought. I still have to ask, though. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAmOAoY1m3h5
"And our rivers aren't exactly wide or long," I continue. "They aren't all interconnected either. How come there aren't any news reports of sightings?"502Please respect copyright.PENANA9gPB9xbAyr
"We have underground rivers. Remember that Black River especially is deep. And they know how to not be seen." That's a good point. "Additionally, they're water spirits. They are connected to the rivers of Jamaica. They can teleport." Still, in such a tiny country, I would have expected someone to have seen one in recent history. I've heard lots of stories about Rolling Calves, but no one has ever told me that they, or someone they know has seen a River Mumma.502Please respect copyright.PENANAHY3s24MyJb
I sit and think of anything else that I would like to know about in this situation.502Please respect copyright.PENANAfi6bT0ii2y
"What deal did you have with her?" This is important. This, I have to know., but I also know that there's a possibility of her clamping up. Therefore, it's no surprise that as soon as the words leave my mouth, her face screws up.502Please respect copyright.PENANAJyN3udDH9A
"Uh..."502Please respect copyright.PENANANKjo90gwtM
"You have to tell me that. It's important." My voice sounds demanding, and I can see that she registers it on her face. She looks at me uncomfortably with the expression of someone who badly wants to shit. I would laugh if I weren't so on edge. 502Please respect copyright.PENANATajGXiHrRL
"It's complicated," she responds lamely. I have to fight myself to not roll my eyes at her. They do move, though, just a tad. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAK5SDpGxS7a
"That's the worst excuse in the history of life. You're starting to sound like Kwamé." When her face stays the same, I decide to let it go. "It's complicated" should probably be the new slogan for my life. Surprisingly, I don't feel like jumping her. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAWCAdbVBlYD
"So about my abilities," I begin, "what exactly can I do?" I guess it's only fair that we switch to something that she's more comfortable with. 502Please respect copyright.PENANABWzOTNf482
"A lot," she answers, becoming animated, glad to be speaking of something other than her dealings with some water creature. "You must have already figured out that you can manipulate situations."502Please respect copyright.PENANArYabv2Cd4L
"Yes." Except for my getting sick the last time we met. "I've noticed that since I was a small child. It's worked to my advantage since."502Please respect copyright.PENANARGeEjR6SIL
"Well, you can manipulate more than that. You can make prophecies, and change them. The future is never set in stone."502Please respect copyright.PENANANCpfw5R8Zp
Shit. That's a lot of power... the kind of power that I don't know that I want. I don't know if that's good for me — for anyone. That only makes me more interested.502Please respect copyright.PENANAA5aceljXWn
"Kwamé said... that you can move things with your mind."502Please respect copyright.PENANAw08zrwKODY
"Did he now?"502Please respect copyright.PENANA5SrTenPvvX
"It was implied." He didn't actually tell me that, after all. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAcuGqWXlIJZ
She looks off to the side pensively as if trying to decide how to phrase her thoughts.502Please respect copyright.PENANAWvKoEzrR1w
"I'm completely at one with the universe," she begins, sounding more like a monk than anything else. "When that happens, you can feel everything around you — living and non-living. Then, with time, you can learn to... influence things. Without spells."502Please respect copyright.PENANANb1GVVCQHj
"So in order for me to do that—"502Please respect copyright.PENANAnHfVlnghVr
"You must first be at one with the universe," she answers. What the hell is this now? Avatar the Last Airbender? It sounds like something she just made up, pulled out of her ass, and knowing her, she probably did. On top of that, that sounds like a lot of work and effort. In other words, it sounds like something that I probably won't do.502Please respect copyright.PENANAwnOcHX3YCP
"I understand if you're reluctant," she tells me, guessing my thoughts correctly, "but it's best if you at least get to understand some of your basic powers better, don't you think?"502Please respect copyright.PENANAWXJUPzPdJ4
I don't know. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. I mean, I'm now interested in learning, but I'm still unsure. It feels partly real, and partly like a scam. Let's say I do this: what if I can't handle the power? Too much power is never a good thing. Or what if I get sucked into some crazy war that's going on among the supernatural? Somehow, I get the feeling that this river mumma isn't done with us yet.502Please respect copyright.PENANAfI9uGVNk30
Isn't done with me yet.502Please respect copyright.PENANAsNxaMqPUyg
In other words, I need to learn how to defend myself.502Please respect copyright.PENANAPKiFRqDke0
But if that is the case... then I'm going to need Akatua.502Please respect copyright.PENANAk31AiY1JKr
I feel so conflicted, a feeling that I am no stranger to, a feeling that I've been drowning in recently. It's probably because decisions and such usually come to me with an unnatural ease, but now I'm struggling to figure my life out.502Please respect copyright.PENANAALDdZsXZJH
But shouldn't this, of all things, come naturally? 502Please respect copyright.PENANAEupu8B1PNY
Damnit.502Please respect copyright.PENANAu75WCrx1qZ
"Listen. Don't hurt your head about this right now. Just come back when you are ready to learn."502Please respect copyright.PENANAiqWZBWrXDp
When she says this, I don't feel as conflicted anymore. I start to relax, and all thoughts of this river mumma fly out of my head. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAs2jOeIwMrA
"Yes. I will," I tell her, feeling myself relax already. See? I tell myself. No need to worry.502Please respect copyright.PENANAvXzL82NzPO
I lean back into the couch and let my mind wonder — not about magic, but about the possibility of finally having a mother — someone who cares for me. Strangely, the thought makes me smile to myself for the first time, resentment taking a back seat. I've always heard the other children at school talk about the wonders of having parents, and the idea never appealed to me. Now, though, it seems rather... intriguing. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAiDXHcqPFl4
"Nya," she calls, pulling me back to reality. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAu6JDOgUTWR
"Yes?" I ask, looking her in the eye. I see my own brown eyes looking back at me, smiling. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAecNuKUDEDQ
Her face smiles warmly at me. "Thank you for coming."502Please respect copyright.PENANAiGjswkIa04
It is in this moment that I realise how much this means to her, how unfair, how selfish I was being for letting my feelings get in the way of making the only person on this earth who possibly loves me happy. It's not even as if it's something hard. She just wanted me to give her a chance, and it is in that moment that I feel a guilt like no other bind up in my chest, making me feel sick. Additionally, everything that she's done — that I've hated her for has been in the name of protecting me. Still, I turned her away. I feel tears sting my eyes as I fight to keep them at bay.502Please respect copyright.PENANAHVMjUBQeh0
And Kwamé thinks that he is the selfish one.502Please respect copyright.PENANA0jnwGYq2f7
"You're welcome," I tell her, my voice filled with newfound friendliness, and wobbling slightly because of my guilt. Its not just my voice that has changed; my entire mindset is now different. I will not be selfish anymore. I will give this woman a chance, even if she tells lies of omission in a misguided attempt to protect me.502Please respect copyright.PENANAWhDTl92PP3
"Awe, Nya," she murmurs, "don't cry, hun." She wraps her arms around me and I return the gesture, tears still threatening.502Please respect copyright.PENANAqjLkiNPhGO
"It's just, you know," I begin,"I'm sorry," I rasp.502Please respect copyright.PENANAy8dYN2nqCb
"Your feelings are completely understandable, dear," she reassures me, rubbing my back.502Please respect copyright.PENANAx0wVE5PeW4
This is another thing that I'm not used to: affection. I've been hugged by people before, but it always felt so... unnatural. Akatua's warm embrace, however, is different. Hugging her feels natural. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAaKOaOQlphg
At least something feels natural around her.502Please respect copyright.PENANAqw6QlFTwLQ
When it's over, I pull back and look at her. I have one request, one thing I need to ask of her.502Please respect copyright.PENANAI6fruxxb0b
"Akatua?"502Please respect copyright.PENANAPsirIFUhCu
"Hmm?"502Please respect copyright.PENANAHRAkEpBq0e
I chew my bottom lip for a second as my eyes dry, trying to find the best way to word my thoughts.502Please respect copyright.PENANAqXXsFo8KsG
"When it comes to telling me things," I begin,"if it's absolutely necessary, for example, if this woman — river mumma — is coming back... stuff like that," I clarify as she nods her head, but still, I have to say it out loud.502Please respect copyright.PENANAMj6zjdlI51
"Please tell me," I ask as she continues to nod her head solemnly. I'm not even asking her to tell me everything, just the important bits.502Please respect copyright.PENANAIdwA2k8N1E
"That's fair," she agrees. "I will try my best to be honest with you about things like that from hear on out."502Please respect copyright.PENANA1oOKelSxY8
"Thank you, Akatua," I say genuinely. 502Please respect copyright.PENANAXH7o8VkyOL
"You're welcome, Nya," she replies. It is while looking into this woman's face that I think to myself:502Please respect copyright.PENANAHXmENjvhB3
Hey, I guess family can be fun after all.
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