White sheets stained red in a hotel bed75Please respect copyright.PENANAH6aGCkuXZs
Skin, ice cold, lying on the bathroom floor alone75Please respect copyright.PENANAB2CrGKtu78
Brains blown out in the shed, stone cold, dead
The basement where I cut off my breathing75Please respect copyright.PENANA5QlM6EznCU
My bedroom where I died while I'm sleeping75Please respect copyright.PENANAgfZ7AmTwfw
Empty pill bottles scattered around my room 75Please respect copyright.PENANAaP7z7qzMzz
Maybe a noose, don't make it loose 75Please respect copyright.PENANAvEgYedeE3y
Maybe even a death I didn't choose
I'm stuck with these thoughts in my head75Please respect copyright.PENANA3NqmkzgI1Y
Vivid visions invading my rest 75Please respect copyright.PENANASE9VPDOiS5
I can't sleep because all I see is death75Please respect copyright.PENANAS9GUDyHqby
I can't stay alive because I'm stuck in my head
I'm digging myself an early grave 75Please respect copyright.PENANAkikqYVwwUb
Thinking about death at such an early age75Please respect copyright.PENANAIVj9XkrldF
Part of me strives for the moment when the earth lies above my head 75Please respect copyright.PENANAC5Tivhrkzv
The moment I'm dead is the day I'll rest75Please respect copyright.PENANAhCIgwJpxzV
No more fighting an uphill battle that never seems to end 75Please respect copyright.PENANAKo6aJYqXj5
But another part of me doesn't want to let go, doesn't want this to end75Please respect copyright.PENANAUkpQhcFzt4
I want to fight to stay alive, I want to fight to "live, laugh, love" again75Please respect copyright.PENANAhWALcqKJRq
As corny as that is
I've tried so hard to stay alive, to stop crying75Please respect copyright.PENANAhpanMMxo6H
To cut off the memories that I live out in daily reveries75Please respect copyright.PENANAWIU2joR4GG
The dread that they dismiss as being "all in my head"75Please respect copyright.PENANA1noWneZPdA
I'm honestly tired of trying to be heard, to be lead in the right direction 75Please respect copyright.PENANAxpgGZatS7U
Because, so far, it's all dead-ends and "mental health awareness" trends75Please respect copyright.PENANAySz2Unan5H
Nobody actually cares until you're dead75Please respect copyright.PENANA43eYO0coUc
Until you're another headline in the news75Please respect copyright.PENANA3rkvrcOeBu
All the attention directed on you, and your grieving family who never even knew 75Please respect copyright.PENANAnIKLiWOkcy
Because they never tried to listen to you
Now they post on your page, they age and you stay the same 75Please respect copyright.PENANAlvLUEufCtE
"I miss you today" 75Please respect copyright.PENANAPK0ywvoGVq
But they couldn't seem to feel that way when you were around75Please respect copyright.PENANA4gXNyqgAFG
But they care now, 75Please respect copyright.PENANAH5lGLv4AbL
Now that your life met an abrupt end
And my "friends", 75Please respect copyright.PENANAXRampQlGyc
Mixed signals is all they send75Please respect copyright.PENANAWqSix4IXnx
One day I matter to them 75Please respect copyright.PENANAedeQTWsUGR
And the next I'm condemned
A few months ago, I was fine75Please respect copyright.PENANAePxacJPHpT
A few months ago, I felt like flying 75Please respect copyright.PENANAShiVsd9HrY
A few months ago, I truly felt alive75Please respect copyright.PENANANSR7ru9LMA
And a few months ago, nothing hurt...
But now, everything hurts 75Please respect copyright.PENANAOT6YAnIdA1
It's hard to explain with words,75Please respect copyright.PENANA6VYkaK6pDt
How the silence kills 75Please respect copyright.PENANAePN6YnYsd6
How the pain I'm in rips me to shreds 75Please respect copyright.PENANABBE54RxzWj
How my mind's convinced me that I'm better off dead
It's impossible to count on both hands, 75Please respect copyright.PENANABglx1e5tRP
How many people I've cut off or let go of because I convinced myself that they deserved better 75Please respect copyright.PENANAJMIwGYBZe1
And look at them now, better off without me anyhow75Please respect copyright.PENANAdOJpwrskm5
I guess I didn't matter as much as they tried to make me believe 75Please respect copyright.PENANA2532muQirJ
But even their "reassurance" were pretty little lies that they weaved like tapestries 75Please respect copyright.PENANA3ttVwAcyhn
The grief from all the casualties of all of my fantasies, my wildest dreams
There's a theme within all of it75Please respect copyright.PENANA4wA9It621W
The little voice in my head, it screams it75Please respect copyright.PENANAD5Vhz6iuuk
"This was their choice"75Please respect copyright.PENANAx1ctdC6bfk
And to be lonely all the time is mine75Please respect copyright.PENANASa2Pklx9O7
All of my feelings are voiced, published publicly75Please respect copyright.PENANAKVOCnjRYqC
But they're overlooked, dismissed as fiction, a phase, lucky me...
So now my eyes, once open windows into my mind, close their curtains75Please respect copyright.PENANA6oI3kKyhNs
The words on all of the pages of my open book erase as the pages are burned75Please respect copyright.PENANAK1eHs6cnsS
This is exactly what I deserve, everything I've earned after the bridges I've burned 75Please respect copyright.PENANAmQEzLQXJSt
It was never on purpose, never my intention, but I never had your attention from the start
All my wishes, sent to the stars, missed them all 75Please respect copyright.PENANAyKgMFcfi9y
Their light flickered and died as I spent nights in my room crying75Please respect copyright.PENANADoXBarBQb5
I wish somebody would call75Please respect copyright.PENANAZb7NjvpGAO
But there's no denying that there's no point in trying
So I pour it out in my writing, daily and nightly 75Please respect copyright.PENANATEdtu0QWeE
But when I post these on the internet, I feel like I'm oversharing 75Please respect copyright.PENANAi6cENTGEgF
And when I vent to my friends, even though they reassure me that it's fine, I feel like a burden75Please respect copyright.PENANAFC7tTOSviI
A buzzkill, a thrill-killer 75Please respect copyright.PENANA95IdYpB1ug
So I lie, saying that I'm fine 75Please respect copyright.PENANA4HhvTx08zM
So that nobody asks questions, and nobody cries 75Please respect copyright.PENANA1k1H9UeHF1
I wanted to feel heard but nobody cared enough, nobody tried