我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。280Please respect copyright.PENANAzYHvpWicXT
280Please respect copyright.PENANAk70wl32nRB
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。280Please respect copyright.PENANATe5GmwwS8x
280Please respect copyright.PENANA596QcpkOvU
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。280Please respect copyright.PENANAIvvPQmzlFJ
280Please respect copyright.PENANA8zoLLfLOL7
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。280Please respect copyright.PENANA0wKMaq3C4B
280Please respect copyright.PENANA27TktySDpV
壓力似乎一併消散。280Please respect copyright.PENANAAyMMZesqEh
280Please respect copyright.PENANAnaKolHqUgt
茶盡。我再續杯。280Please respect copyright.PENANA01fRYXuhwB
280Please respect copyright.PENANArS5ncuuA12
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。280Please respect copyright.PENANA69dCwtRU5a
280Please respect copyright.PENANA4vnV9NrilO
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。280Please respect copyright.PENANAfQsaiQgCqs
280Please respect copyright.PENANAej1vyQYpCD
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。280Please respect copyright.PENANAANbbISw4ie
280Please respect copyright.PENANA2KNz56d8nA
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。280Please respect copyright.PENANAhRPhBMULU8
280Please respect copyright.PENANAPCJ6plTqOW
夢醒一場空。280Please respect copyright.PENANAbZql2JDPsZ
280Please respect copyright.PENANAc4sCaKJsHp
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。280Please respect copyright.PENANA6v1zJ72q2b
280Please respect copyright.PENANAmhIwM9vjGp
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……280Please respect copyright.PENANAYNEP0zosdj
280Please respect copyright.PENANAOLPlTOot0l
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。280Please respect copyright.PENANARR61DEkaOt
280Please respect copyright.PENANA7RD9Tm0yg9
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。280Please respect copyright.PENANAMzYDyRPWaJ
280Please respect copyright.PENANAQNosuiStYj
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。280Please respect copyright.PENANA3NuiBwFX2y
280Please respect copyright.PENANAvlw01YYmoc
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。280Please respect copyright.PENANAyxIx5ZGlKF
280Please respect copyright.PENANAEIBCRbaI2J
我沾沾自喜。280Please respect copyright.PENANA98b51DzHZb
280Please respect copyright.PENANAduh9Dhc5vU
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。280Please respect copyright.PENANAYLM3d6FEds
280Please respect copyright.PENANAa4ox2ncZmy
但我沒有向同學們坦白。280Please respect copyright.PENANAQ371k69Gx1
280Please respect copyright.PENANAP9nZI8Sm3s
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。280Please respect copyright.PENANA9dxYi3eq5n
280Please respect copyright.PENANApNORUyOhe6
努力,努力,努力。280Please respect copyright.PENANA0oczA8xb78
280Please respect copyright.PENANAcfiwgifcBv
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。280Please respect copyright.PENANAn7i9Uh9dzp
280Please respect copyright.PENANAAYYpnyVbiR
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。280Please respect copyright.PENANAoZ5yHrvgte
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以為。280Please respect copyright.PENANAlEXh8M3Nf5
280Please respect copyright.PENANAoXJeEcPtoh
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。280Please respect copyright.PENANAKti5zSF94v
280Please respect copyright.PENANALjQIM8J2Ri
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。280Please respect copyright.PENANAuHKl6Cd0IT
280Please respect copyright.PENANAqysl5d4l8V
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!280Please respect copyright.PENANAJpFdrek7kR
280Please respect copyright.PENANApKHSTpLZaX
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。280Please respect copyright.PENANAAVdgqHjWKe
280Please respect copyright.PENANAbnFG9eprRS
我的作品感動了我。280Please respect copyright.PENANAys3QTRfb7g
280Please respect copyright.PENANAkRqSfglxqj
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。280Please respect copyright.PENANAu6iNG0eSLA
280Please respect copyright.PENANA3n6IH6rnAq
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。280Please respect copyright.PENANAOLcbcqEYUp
280Please respect copyright.PENANA7nn820NZKj
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。280Please respect copyright.PENANAyRNnR9KKvO
280Please respect copyright.PENANATNyy7SMV9S
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……280Please respect copyright.PENANAsJWKxpxdSZ
280Please respect copyright.PENANA3yHWeuNwXF
熱茶又涼了。280Please respect copyright.PENANAZPNamNHzDH
280Please respect copyright.PENANA8mQHV54UiI
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。280Please respect copyright.PENANA2g0bNgZHq4
280Please respect copyright.PENANA6Y797BwzKC
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。280Please respect copyright.PENANAADjqmeOO6o
280Please respect copyright.PENANAnx0DOwgvlP
我的作品只感動了我。280Please respect copyright.PENANAoZHvsuGz8Q
280Please respect copyright.PENANAbfZNBvwW3Y
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。280Please respect copyright.PENANAxSiW2PR8Hs