我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。276Please respect copyright.PENANAFhrPTSGDjS
276Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9xB9H9yVf
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。276Please respect copyright.PENANAs5rKzIkidg
276Please respect copyright.PENANAxEBhrTuEGQ
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。276Please respect copyright.PENANAtqWOM9LgnY
276Please respect copyright.PENANAEOxo4ScDem
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。276Please respect copyright.PENANAtcUgSnO92u
276Please respect copyright.PENANA9MtVgWs49H
壓力似乎一併消散。276Please respect copyright.PENANAxaRQOOBfdZ
276Please respect copyright.PENANAv2EJtgCIsP
茶盡。我再續杯。276Please respect copyright.PENANAky6NoIqiHz
276Please respect copyright.PENANAQAhDjb8OPE
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。276Please respect copyright.PENANAnf9QZo3QhS
276Please respect copyright.PENANAJcCHiJ5N86
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。276Please respect copyright.PENANA9mQCgHRvlb
276Please respect copyright.PENANAVCyCyBQxFp
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。276Please respect copyright.PENANANzjvfzFJXL
276Please respect copyright.PENANA5ucawKY9tX
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。276Please respect copyright.PENANAcnWboVVx46
276Please respect copyright.PENANAgCndxsFpfs
夢醒一場空。276Please respect copyright.PENANAYjJA2hcCbm
276Please respect copyright.PENANA0feQ9waKW4
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。276Please respect copyright.PENANAAbOy2k7fjP
276Please respect copyright.PENANAqcQFR4melK
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……276Please respect copyright.PENANAdXo5MblzQG
276Please respect copyright.PENANAPaegPIr5fm
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。276Please respect copyright.PENANAtFU5yO4k95
276Please respect copyright.PENANAxlYGh9ev2R
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。276Please respect copyright.PENANAE7F3xpMfI0
276Please respect copyright.PENANAqACU8Zmdfa
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。276Please respect copyright.PENANAj3V1s2bKZx
276Please respect copyright.PENANAAjBiWo04zk
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。276Please respect copyright.PENANAvu9deqCD48
276Please respect copyright.PENANAVJLV12PqMp
我沾沾自喜。276Please respect copyright.PENANA8MT0JqlFXV
276Please respect copyright.PENANAtxPabGkQ4P
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。276Please respect copyright.PENANA3zYi3rWvsb
276Please respect copyright.PENANAlKrp1gsiAU
但我沒有向同學們坦白。276Please respect copyright.PENANAlPw3SWupCB
276Please respect copyright.PENANAXj2Pg5fyN9
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。276Please respect copyright.PENANAEVYExVGpfZ
276Please respect copyright.PENANADU9MyHNk1Y
努力,努力,努力。276Please respect copyright.PENANANbqcXB1Dfb
276Please respect copyright.PENANAOWLwVL4qXG
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。276Please respect copyright.PENANAcN2WOF8azW
276Please respect copyright.PENANArkcJFxfZww
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。276Please respect copyright.PENANAu5hEXhCMRx
276Please respect copyright.PENANAvbc9dWKY2J
以為。276Please respect copyright.PENANAhjmHNjRJBN
276Please respect copyright.PENANAnmbe3cOmkw
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。276Please respect copyright.PENANADA4TsFFVfu
276Please respect copyright.PENANAkCEEFzgYLq
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。276Please respect copyright.PENANAKcUTn9rtnY
276Please respect copyright.PENANAfVHIMQtF6Y
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!276Please respect copyright.PENANAL8nSFKK15N
276Please respect copyright.PENANA4sIWbcDamw
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。276Please respect copyright.PENANAr9aYgE69Oo
276Please respect copyright.PENANALoWIQ1Bc7P
我的作品感動了我。276Please respect copyright.PENANAwDLcm6OrtK
276Please respect copyright.PENANAG0Wrvw10W4
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。276Please respect copyright.PENANAFa6NcSTPQ3
276Please respect copyright.PENANAzaw3zdIVS9
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。276Please respect copyright.PENANA2EPCu0Oaez
276Please respect copyright.PENANA9IlrV9XzWR
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。276Please respect copyright.PENANArpzCaodEsO
276Please respect copyright.PENANAum5mdvkSyY
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……276Please respect copyright.PENANAKM9yniASqM
276Please respect copyright.PENANApKsY1XObWG
熱茶又涼了。276Please respect copyright.PENANAROeHHkcQiy
276Please respect copyright.PENANAQInFAp5Bar
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。276Please respect copyright.PENANA7DqNOkwsgD
276Please respect copyright.PENANA9rpFSr5n48
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。276Please respect copyright.PENANALoMtZCwhfj
276Please respect copyright.PENANAMgJracyMVB
我的作品只感動了我。276Please respect copyright.PENANAxLcSHsAten
276Please respect copyright.PENANAUQtkynC0Z9
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。276Please respect copyright.PENANAkz9j1jzpO5