午餐用膳後,男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場,或場上打籃球,或場外觀賽。我亦不例外,在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際,一個籃球高速自後側飛來,狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉,我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁,沒把事情放心上。當然,我也沒所謂,小事一椿。324Please respect copyright.PENANAVZvt2f4IV2
324Please respect copyright.PENANAhBIyrxp19q
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。324Please respect copyright.PENANAd2tdoRVkgQ
324Please respect copyright.PENANAaTVJaJVSWr
匆匆一笑,半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑,僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。324Please respect copyright.PENANATMw9pil1hJ
324Please respect copyright.PENANAl90HzQssuq
但我還是記住了那抹笑容,記住了他的臉容氣質,記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。324Please respect copyright.PENANA2FrJz29ynO
324Please respect copyright.PENANAgKP8ONRgKc
為何記住?我解釋不了。324Please respect copyright.PENANAGxfg2nCGtA
324Please respect copyright.PENANAmNRESq46MS
好幾個月過去,夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目,男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起,動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒,說吃飽想睡不想動。324Please respect copyright.PENANA9LMmYd5T9e
324Please respect copyright.PENANA35NWGS8D2R
我獨坐長椅一邊,納悶之際,兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。324Please respect copyright.PENANAEGi28rjCzc
324Please respect copyright.PENANAa9wRjLGeU5
其中一個是他。324Please respect copyright.PENANAgdu06J3DGn
324Please respect copyright.PENANApYfEFUmgzv
那笑那臉那明暗,歷歷在目。324Please respect copyright.PENANAQWJvPYx1Bm
324Please respect copyright.PENANABXPDcfo0tr
心頭一顫,我馬上別過臉去。數秒後,我稍為冷靜,意識到自己的失態,佯裝無異,繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣,有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。324Please respect copyright.PENANAyd8kgFHjrq
324Please respect copyright.PENANA4TA4ShM723
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時,他竟從後叫住我。324Please respect copyright.PENANAmVa4RLNevz
324Please respect copyright.PENANAYa0ZadHHJ3
「你遺下銀包。」324Please respect copyright.PENANA6bAshrhTOU
324Please respect copyright.PENANAwuMG64DZ2y
「謝謝。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2nISjZtaL
324Please respect copyright.PENANAh7RxF0Fpsl
「不用客氣……」324Please respect copyright.PENANAGUQ7KJVclK
324Please respect copyright.PENANApQKrA8T6Bj
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣,他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼?不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題?甚或是「為何要展開話題」?324Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8YhaquasK
324Please respect copyright.PENANA8KAsxdtdaV
氣氛尷尬,四目交投,卻不知如何是好。324Please respect copyright.PENANARHkJh8rPjX
324Please respect copyright.PENANAtTacNmGT6G
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過,彼此才回過神來,甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上,他往下。324Please respect copyright.PENANA5VnDv7rjyV
324Please respect copyright.PENANARsaouiTtJL
誰料在午飯時間完結後,我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊,所以未曾正式認識。324Please respect copyright.PENANAnKVAN5CgeB
324Please respect copyright.PENANAKbvpPumT0Y
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。324Please respect copyright.PENANA7ydKb2ySWV
324Please respect copyright.PENANAQHxMkNBtZZ
「我是文班許家偉。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAy0UNE6Hs9m
324Please respect copyright.PENANA2DRqqzsnpQ
「我是理班李浩榮。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAKvVdBPayJK
其實我早已知道許家偉。324Please respect copyright.PENANAimJdvRfdCe
324Please respect copyright.PENANApou3cOjw5r
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。324Please respect copyright.PENANAGMwZK1kINS
324Please respect copyright.PENANAdQiQhAcOjT
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。324Please respect copyright.PENANAV3vyYbmQMl
324Please respect copyright.PENANANymA0ErC20
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別,亦無專長或短處,是個存在感不強的乖學生。324Please respect copyright.PENANAmZ7EXWKhnQ
324Please respect copyright.PENANA3bSugpFeqw
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他?324Please respect copyright.PENANAQp2erayyij
324Please respect copyright.PENANAqhloDiv7E8
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝,只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。324Please respect copyright.PENANAZ399JqVfAb
324Please respect copyright.PENANASLwDPx8PMr
不服氣。324Please respect copyright.PENANAHBjk4CJUtf
324Please respect copyright.PENANAkCqi712obF
繼續觀察他。324Please respect copyright.PENANAnhiMwcisJY
324Please respect copyright.PENANAo9frEZcDBq
匆匆數月,秋去冬來,我對許家偉好奇不減。324Please respect copyright.PENANA2z75G2v8Rd
324Please respect copyright.PENANAUB8RqPBbnI
某天午餐後,我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅,於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端,近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光,動身離開。正感沒趣,阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡,看見許家偉的學生證。324Please respect copyright.PENANAswK68PbOlj
324Please respect copyright.PENANA6bxwxZevnQ
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證,再將銀包交到校務處。我反對,擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應,僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步,將銀包遞給我。324Please respect copyright.PENANAsUjJEqXzsf
324Please respect copyright.PENANAqLGS8aU4rR
我急步追趕許家偉。324Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZLq23zV6B
324Please respect copyright.PENANAGJmwPMg1Wx
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問,我不是討厭許家偉嗎?人前,我一直表達對許家偉的討厭;人後,我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有,尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。324Please respect copyright.PENANAURR4fAzUZ2
324Please respect copyright.PENANAM5bvwmtDLF
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。324Please respect copyright.PENANAzXVz2ntron
324Please respect copyright.PENANAyINinHZEDk
遠遠看見他的身影,我自然而然打起十二分精神;聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉,我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的;走經中五級壁報板,會不經意試找許家偉的名字……324Please respect copyright.PENANAFmcnm03Tnf
324Please respect copyright.PENANA2NbI5vSkED
「你遺下了銀包。」324Please respect copyright.PENANATLUD4woNak
324Please respect copyright.PENANAKv7oINE0Zz
「謝謝。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAXUrw6K3LIZ
324Please respect copyright.PENANAM48Ra45hmc
「不用客氣……」324Please respect copyright.PENANA7cAZd6MlIP
324Please respect copyright.PENANAXq2T7mCUZd
經已物歸原主。他道謝,我虛應,然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。324Please respect copyright.PENANA42F1lWce8n
324Please respect copyright.PENANAhR9ArGpl6M
該要說甚麼?還需要說甚麼?沒有啊!但我們還是原地愣著。324Please respect copyright.PENANAzzi0S6P943
324Please respect copyright.PENANAUlIyfiaPqm
他是否一早知道我?他是否早已察覺我在留意他?不會吧……324Please respect copyright.PENANAMxvhfZDE0T
324Please respect copyright.PENANAN4iFDgPaSg
我望入他雙眼。324Please respect copyright.PENANAoJGETiMJ3d
324Please respect copyright.PENANA2Ojr7PO0xu
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑,似乎在期待甚麼……324Please respect copyright.PENANAqCi3TuSxXr
324Please respect copyright.PENANAS2RVbztAd1
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來,低頭轉身離開。324Please respect copyright.PENANAxihVyF8BtU
324Please respect copyright.PENANAuVLOlD8N0D
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在,問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容,認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的,不會繼續討厭他。324Please respect copyright.PENANAAjmf1eA5mu
324Please respect copyright.PENANAhwMJlT5S58
上課鈴聲響起,學生魚貫回課室去。人群中,我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了,笑他遲鈍,後知後覺。324Please respect copyright.PENANABKLHLHNRf7
324Please respect copyright.PENANAZRp3YgYqf0
許家偉臉紅,禮貌地點點頭,上前自我介紹。324Please respect copyright.PENANABwj5U2dQX1
324Please respect copyright.PENANA3XA2SrTmgJ
「我是文班許家偉。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAAWeSpRy55P
324Please respect copyright.PENANASBbwPVxYZb
「我是理班李浩榮。」324Please respect copyright.PENANA3UYNVD3mrW
畢業多年,我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講,舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料:「你們當年那麼要好,竟然未曾聯絡一次?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAZyLwekyUQI
324Please respect copyright.PENANABxBoUGGzZB
我笑笑點頭,不多解釋。324Please respect copyright.PENANAAwGwNZKXE7
324Please respect copyright.PENANAkHw1gGO6s4
畢業禮當晚,他告訴我,他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰,我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必,因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪:如已釋懷,為何重提。324Please respect copyright.PENANA0if89vetA0
324Please respect copyright.PENANAOMyqthFwTV
李浩榮笑笑,笑說他已覺悟,明白人的真正作用。324Please respect copyright.PENANAAZIeQVa8W6
324Please respect copyright.PENANAzY77kkJzKm
聽到這莫名其妙的答案,我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。324Please respect copyright.PENANAbNVicH2kr1
324Please respect copyright.PENANAjqQb7zcYE7
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起,或是把深交的兩個人分開,例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中,而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。324Please respect copyright.PENANAktMy1DHdAv
324Please respect copyright.PENANAvdetKpzg4F
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過,有點無奈,有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後,我和李浩榮再無交集。324Please respect copyright.PENANAIren213igd
324Please respect copyright.PENANAyQ93MwHCXG
但我沒有阻止他。324Please respect copyright.PENANA4azISRrWJR
324Please respect copyright.PENANA2WwvU7WPkN
他壓抑已久,情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。324Please respect copyright.PENANAz3mZHaf0An
324Please respect copyright.PENANAiJEBq26IPW
我慫恿他繼續說下去。324Please respect copyright.PENANA7tbMQjGS5Q
324Please respect copyright.PENANAHV2l1RagNZ
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子,經常氣得老師向父母投訴,父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀,起初會擔心對方身體,後來發現彼此不怕捱打,只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑,再玩再捱打……玩著捱著,二人同甘共苦十四年,彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我,反倒羨慕我的不起眼。324Please respect copyright.PENANAuuYzGczcSw
324Please respect copyright.PENANA0kZPUGf3lM
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。324Please respect copyright.PENANA1NmAKSZKD4
324Please respect copyright.PENANAktXLsCGYep
「不被注意、不被期望,方能活得自由稱心。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAg0SbC0M2Y0
324Please respect copyright.PENANAmubLxDsYuT
我問他是否有煩惱,可以向我傾訴,也許我能想出好辦法。324Please respect copyright.PENANAdvLOulnd2i
324Please respect copyright.PENANAYeOuKI0yvy
李浩榮報以苦笑,沒有正面回答。324Please respect copyright.PENANAF1k0KNwnST
324Please respect copyright.PENANA21EE5jpQRs
那夜,他喝得爛醉,我送他回家。324Please respect copyright.PENANADtM0AqlniY
324Please respect copyright.PENANAmMNQYWPPNP
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦,語調急促,不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮,留下一句道謝,利落關門。324Please respect copyright.PENANAYAgBH5vehH
324Please respect copyright.PENANA6rqFAxxUDn
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。324Please respect copyright.PENANAxZToyQXTXy
324Please respect copyright.PENANAuTR0J0e2ZE
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害,亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。324Please respect copyright.PENANA5tCzDfEagv
324Please respect copyright.PENANA07bAAy24mS
但我掛念他。324Please respect copyright.PENANAnzOe4F5ZSA
324Please respect copyright.PENANAyD01NZFC1O
不是偶然想起,不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助,不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯,是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。324Please respect copyright.PENANAHs1RU19O8X
324Please respect copyright.PENANAqxQyb3SaM5
想起他,我不期然會笑;想起他,我感覺窩心;想起他,我會自覺孤單可憐。324Please respect copyright.PENANAxWy4ABBfaH
324Please respect copyright.PENANAwm4GbQg27d
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。324Please respect copyright.PENANAqd0ap1ahgG
324Please respect copyright.PENANA1MoxFTKgWf
糟糕了!怎麼辦?怎麼辦!不知道。324Please respect copyright.PENANAXPxc8GlguU
324Please respect copyright.PENANAl41kZOJvGF
不要說。不要聽。不要見。324Please respect copyright.PENANAUsrvptqqJY
324Please respect copyright.PENANAmQIiBzfVr0
希望時間會沖淡一切。324Please respect copyright.PENANAjmHcFljy1k
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。324Please respect copyright.PENANATl29iQPB64
324Please respect copyright.PENANA6x2eUi2Z8V
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應,煞是暈眩,有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。324Please respect copyright.PENANAAWTONyRa5Y
324Please respect copyright.PENANAu1KPgHyFP0
阿媽沒有理會我,背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說:「昨晚是他送你回來。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAZOH4dJYEGD
324Please respect copyright.PENANAOrcl3GayLH
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛,重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算,反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。324Please respect copyright.PENANAbZB4nCnwh1
324Please respect copyright.PENANAlAiYVLMHKI
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」324Please respect copyright.PENANA7F7asLdxXg
324Please respect copyright.PENANAh3VcJJwHTH
「我也不明白。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAyxYAqcnSnk
324Please respect copyright.PENANAC26KIPIysI
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAttAU2vS1NW
324Please respect copyright.PENANAbpfW6o5J9x
「感覺,並非可以自由控制的。」324Please respect copyright.PENANApaNelxgAdJ
324Please respect copyright.PENANAn4vh4JtRZL
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」324Please respect copyright.PENANARYx0VgpZV1
324Please respect copyright.PENANA4Fm89RWwik
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAYC9Mjza7G5
324Please respect copyright.PENANA6EHj7lOCtz
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAraFg5RTCwf
324Please respect copyright.PENANAPmpnWqCTgQ
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAKw4VS6urLu
324Please respect copyright.PENANAWBjsy1CFeB
我晦氣,毫不掩飾對她的討厭。324Please respect copyright.PENANAVEhU3e9gGE
324Please respect copyright.PENANA3DwIssj2rS
阿媽沒再多話,繼續在廚房忙著。324Please respect copyright.PENANAb0M3sITros
324Please respect copyright.PENANAfjd7ZpP6b0
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我,為何旁人總愛插手?324Please respect copyright.PENANApUQPeENzfV
324Please respect copyright.PENANAGKo0n9Fjk4
抵著頭痛,我硬撐起身子小便去。324Please respect copyright.PENANAwq5jIBp3KJ
324Please respect copyright.PENANA5oakTWZn8c
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下,小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少,昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。324Please respect copyright.PENANAJbMabuidvj
324Please respect copyright.PENANARvohsUTJBC
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。324Please respect copyright.PENANAK61xLXoBEJ
324Please respect copyright.PENANAXaTkiGFVj1
真的嗎?我真的把話說出口?324Please respect copyright.PENANASP8tkrm7ip
324Please respect copyright.PENANAgGrhpgj3lR
為何這麼驚訝?阿強醉倒後,我特意喝下更多酒,不就是為了把話講出口嗎?324Please respect copyright.PENANAU3WrHryfp6
324Please respect copyright.PENANAXNsyd38cyl
便意盡,醉意消,騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。324Please respect copyright.PENANALDO2VivgdD
324Please respect copyright.PENANADLy81jFwKT
為何要走到這一步?324Please respect copyright.PENANApKM3TRJ55F
324Please respect copyright.PENANAHz6sQBx3df
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情,擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我,乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態,冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。324Please respect copyright.PENANAPC5Dl61REi
324Please respect copyright.PENANAWS2znxPU8B
「世人表裡不一。口說開明,實質守舊。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAIjhwn98Zcy
324Please respect copyright.PENANAcz2T2l0P1B
「是嗎?你呢?你口說放棄,心底裡在支持我吧?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAn5n9gXgtdk
324Please respect copyright.PENANAvyy7mu7GlL
「別倔強。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAOFTakHen9Z
324Please respect copyright.PENANA891ZHFKPoV
「我想要知道你的真正想法!別敷衍!別蒙混!」324Please respect copyright.PENANAJODHMG0r8U
324Please respect copyright.PENANAyeO6PXUNTs
「我想你放棄。」324Please respect copyright.PENANA7Un590yDT8
324Please respect copyright.PENANAcNHJrzWlcA
「原因?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAYdCmAyTWYi
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「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」324Please respect copyright.PENANA0b01b5CLHx
324Please respect copyright.PENANApYX8V9xd6n
「我知道。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAnl8BnA21NC
324Please respect copyright.PENANA5fhMyWqQVU
「何解還要繼續下去?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAjysIoVqjGA
324Please respect copyright.PENANAJSIX5yNnMw
「感情易放難收。」324Please respect copyright.PENANADdbId9m52e
324Please respect copyright.PENANAy2WqAia8OX
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智,她還有何話可說,只得被動地待我回心轉意。324Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7QH0n9cwl
324Please respect copyright.PENANAAdxwOlSS6J
傍晚,我約見阿強,在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀,有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣,我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此!我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足!324Please respect copyright.PENANA5dZq1fTjyJ
324Please respect copyright.PENANA3sGugxenps
架後,我沒有留下片言隻字,待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去,懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。324Please respect copyright.PENANANpf0gBbT9q
324Please respect copyright.PENANAS3yRHBaxV5
阿媽見我身上有傷,許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事,沒有多問,亦不予關心。324Please respect copyright.PENANAe1Obuuc2SE
324Please respect copyright.PENANABTpWocqItQ
我不在意,一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……324Please respect copyright.PENANAB98V2iI5xI
324Please respect copyright.PENANA1DALJH2O0p
畢業禮,是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊,戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜,能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉,齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。324Please respect copyright.PENANAI1e0Neis86
324Please respect copyright.PENANAPXogrHTpgq
阿強取來一支烈酒,邀我對飲:「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」324Please respect copyright.PENANA17EKeVUQy1
324Please respect copyright.PENANAxDjxKFD8Ab
我欣然接受。他很了解我,許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈,自小經常一起偷偷喝酒,十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下,沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。324Please respect copyright.PENANAve7Qekp4fm
324Please respect copyright.PENANABXetP1I5qN
小醉。半醉。大醉。324Please respect copyright.PENANAbcvzxH7hqJ
324Please respect copyright.PENANAyu7pkyumky
阿強半伏枱邊,傻笑問我:「想好如何表白了沒?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAGhsskrGHkf
324Please respect copyright.PENANAmeA8JFJF0U
「直接講我愛他。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAPqjcWwcFSZ
324Please respect copyright.PENANALUiZBv8DYE
「如果他拒絕?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAPNU54J7s0q
324Please respect copyright.PENANAgzQihHcv4L
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAK21kSDSwiP
324Please respect copyright.PENANAZZHYlKDZWE
「如果他接受了?那怎麼辦?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAPYgpgrcC9m
324Please respect copyright.PENANAba8x3kM5vE
「我當然是高興!」324Please respect copyright.PENANAdbXeIQy5wB
324Please respect copyright.PENANA3QuSLhnDar
「我在問,他會怎麼辦?你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAvizfpNBMsk
324Please respect copyright.PENANApDH0wun0zd
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。324Please respect copyright.PENANAqOcUklAIg6
事隔四十年,我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。324Please respect copyright.PENANARcE8GcMOQM
324Please respect copyright.PENANAAoXipIKddF
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻,但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。324Please respect copyright.PENANAU8aijYo42q
324Please respect copyright.PENANAmOxIhXrY1l
李浩榮苦笑,笑容意味深長。324Please respect copyright.PENANAP1BuxoB05d
324Please respect copyright.PENANAuZpNK4AwK5
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAIVjIcENGQr
324Please respect copyright.PENANAh8LISEvBiv
「活了那麼多年,經歷那麼多事情,我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」324Please respect copyright.PENANA0ciRWnouUg
324Please respect copyright.PENANAyyd1xdW0B5
「你仍然單身?」324Please respect copyright.PENANA5M2z9xtVcr
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「是的。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAVxo9VwlMSw
324Please respect copyright.PENANAHLuSI9Bw0U
「要我當媒嗎?」324Please respect copyright.PENANAvZQKKuxHU9
324Please respect copyright.PENANAxjPQ69SWAY
「不了。難為情。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAvtV6QOj4jK
324Please respect copyright.PENANAiYcl1FQocG
李浩榮失笑,笑我不值得被愛。324Please respect copyright.PENANAcaKpJs0HBa
324Please respect copyright.PENANAdZIBWyE3A2
我陪笑,笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。324Please respect copyright.PENANAo8zPBNfVa8
324Please respect copyright.PENANA30uFwhKAmF
多寒暄幾句,我和李浩榮相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。324Please respect copyright.PENANAg0knycfVec
324Please respect copyright.PENANA7fRZNBkYrR
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。324Please respect copyright.PENANAWRsO0pC13j
324Please respect copyright.PENANAkZaWbgvcrZ
回家吧。324Please respect copyright.PENANAcdc3DvhvNK
324Please respect copyright.PENANAzvnOVP3574
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。324Please respect copyright.PENANAsg0Hllq3wb
324Please respect copyright.PENANAQQv532i2Bz
「戚戚慘慘悽悽,清清冷冷,覓覓尋尋。」興之所至,我一邊脫鞋,一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。324Please respect copyright.PENANAbO6HEPcgXL
324Please respect copyright.PENANACM6rBjKhOR
「尋他千百度,驀然回首,那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪,懶洋洋得撲到梳化上,順口接上《青玉案.元夕》末句。324Please respect copyright.PENANAIRQkoJFHyz
324Please respect copyright.PENANATryWsEanjA
枕臂望窗,映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗,憶起他的臉容氣質,憶起那抹笑容。324Please respect copyright.PENANAhqQc0OlmML
324Please respect copyright.PENANAXDS8321PhZ
大概是一見鍾情吧。324Please respect copyright.PENANAyD3uxVV4aT
324Please respect copyright.PENANAUDpl145efL
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂,後知後覺。324Please respect copyright.PENANAWwN6B98yAc
324Please respect copyright.PENANAeTjjaYVhbM
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向,結果會否不一樣?324Please respect copyright.PENANANUSQl3KwpJ
324Please respect copyright.PENANARXCzkl13wk
我笑自己想多了:結果會是一樣的。324Please respect copyright.PENANAn6TSgKcRP6
324Please respect copyright.PENANAyyy107sLdL
我是懦弱的人,我珍愛自己,所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情,亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。324Please respect copyright.PENANARlEB29StoW
324Please respect copyright.PENANAqQbg9PwgMQ
李浩榮說得沒錯,我不值得被愛。324Please respect copyright.PENANAKs362CY5gV
事隔四十年,昔日摯友躺在棺材裡,往日心上人站在我面前。324Please respect copyright.PENANAuqoEsvATu1
324Please respect copyright.PENANAIgZaQtRqh8
百感交集……324Please respect copyright.PENANA2hQTwrELmS
324Please respect copyright.PENANA3dzRIkhDfU
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻,事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人,情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候,還以為痛楚會一直維持下去,有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。324Please respect copyright.PENANA60VaxjYpIw
324Please respect copyright.PENANARl5lIWPJG8
不過電影終究與現實不同:角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡,情感故此顯得激烈而深刻;現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素,例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。324Please respect copyright.PENANAxLVCznrREi
324Please respect copyright.PENANANV12cO7beO
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力,直至今日再聚……324Please respect copyright.PENANARfv2H6nRa6
324Please respect copyright.PENANAoauZfxbqLz
「認得我嗎?我是許家偉。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAoCxkF3sE6F
324Please respect copyright.PENANApT6rW50xsK
「認得。你是文班的。」324Please respect copyright.PENANAEFG1PwDU7d
324Please respect copyright.PENANA2xDi72mzXJ
許家偉淺笑,笑容如昔,淡然清雅溫婉。324Please respect copyright.PENANALszeqdek2o
324Please respect copyright.PENANA5FS21JV5Kr
閒聊之間,發現他仍然單身。究其原因,他只道難為情。324Please respect copyright.PENANA8G7TbqtlIX
324Please respect copyright.PENANAR2chiRo6uJ
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。324Please respect copyright.PENANA9UV2VFkUvz
324Please respect copyright.PENANAAKKwAcNdQy
四十年過去,許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。324Please respect copyright.PENANAejYVY9n7CM
324Please respect copyright.PENANACjHGxcVBsw
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。324Please respect copyright.PENANARyasdmSVtZ
324Please respect copyright.PENANAWyKTAVUHVF
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。324Please respect copyright.PENANARpHfKS63J8
324Please respect copyright.PENANAV2CZvjQfsF
許家偉在認真?他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑?324Please respect copyright.PENANA87KvIp6zce
324Please respect copyright.PENANAnbFJRbIVmL
我哭笑不得。324Please respect copyright.PENANAt3kazmIorC
324Please respect copyright.PENANAXhpxQPfmQ8
無意跟他繼續對話。324Please respect copyright.PENANAjNbganSQSn
324Please respect copyright.PENANAi8R1rzpYWE
多寒暄幾句,我和許家偉相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。324Please respect copyright.PENANAFtWQERXgwc
324Please respect copyright.PENANAm6qf2C66Dw
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。