心煩意亂
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俾突如其來嘅message搞到我一頭霧水，一路諗我係咪應該問一問Jessica發生咩事呢？ 但係我真係唔知點開口。 其中我有啲在意點解佢個男朋友，佢叫我唔好信Jessica講嘢呢，呢一樣嘢係我點都諗唔明。定係一話佢男朋友特登咁樣講，令我覺得Jessica唔係一個好女仔，唔想我同Jessica 發展，等佢仲有機會？諗諗吓我就瞓着咗啦。
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第二朝起身，正常返工。今日Jessica無嚟食飯，都好，我可以避開唔使尷尬。但其實我要尷尬啲咩呢？我又冇嘢做錯。 不過話時話，Jessica好似上個星期都冇嚟過食飯啦喎，唔通佢放大假？定係佢無做呢？定係，佢男朋友。。。諗諗下搞到我自己都有啲擔心。我跟手同英姐講出去一陣買少少嘢，然後就一枝箭咁飛過去M記睇吓佢喺唔喺度。入到去M記，我四周圍望吓，然後搵咗一個圈，發覺Jessica真係唔喺度，唔知佢今日係咪放假呢？
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M記啲大公司真係唔講得笑，有個Staff見我四圍望，就即刻行過嚟問有啲咩可以幫到我。我估佢以為我周圍搵緊要買嘅野。呢一刻，我又唔想搵Jessica 搵到咁揚，因為好樣衰，好似溝女要溝到去人哋間鋪咁。
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望到Staff個名牌，突然間靈機一觸，我同個Staff講「你哋之前係咪有個叫Jessica嘅店員？因為我啲牙肉唔健康，Jessica之前介紹咗一隻牙刷俾我用，我覺得幾好用，一路用用吓，直到支牙刷用殘咗扔埋，我都冇留意係咩牌子，所以想過嚟問返佢。」
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店員：「Jessica無做成個禮拜囉，不如我帶你睇返擺牙刷嘅地方，睇吓你搵唔搵得返你用嗰支牙刷？」
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我扮晒嘢咁答返佢：「唔使啦，我頭先我喺嗰度搵個好似唔見，唔緊要，我下次先再睇過啦」
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我有啲失望咁離開咗舖頭。
54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliW96rwj55
原來已經過成個禮拜冇做，點解佢都唔同我講聲？ 佢都可以Wtsapp我㗎。 Facebook都唔見佢有咩update，又會突然間唔做咁奇怪。
54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbbzjELs9s
我終於鼓起勇氣，wtspp問Jessica 呢排點解唔見佢過嚟食飯。佢睇咗我個message，不過過咗好多日都冇覆我。 我都唔係個死纏爛打嘅人，佢唔覆我可能有好多原因，總之佢想覆嘅話就會覆㗎啦。我唔係發晦氣咁講，當見到一個人煩緊嘅時候，呢個時候就最好唔好再煩住佢。或者，佢煩完之後就會上返水。其實老實講，就算佢而家覆我，又可以覆啲咩？ 唔通答我，係呀，我辭咗職啦，所以無過嚟食飯？ 然後我又會問佢做咩唔同我講？ 到最後，咪盞大家都唔知有啲咩可以講。其實我都唔明自己煩咩，總之就覺得好心煩。呢一刻嘅我，想靜一靜，消化下先。
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每日返工，收工。 自從放棄咗學coding，而家星期日多數都冇嘢做。生活中硬係好似爭緊啲咩咁。 唔經唔覺都同Jessica兩個月冇聯絡，有時我都好想打個電話俾佢，但係一諗起，就算佢聽電話，我都唔知有啲咩可以講落去。
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「dododo, dododo，Hello Jessica! 我係家晴呀，好耐無見呀！」 我都係忍唔住，打咗俾Jessica。
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Jessica:「hello hello! 家晴，咁啱嘅，我都有啲嘢想搵你呀！哈哈」
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咩事？點解同我諗嘅嘢唔同嘅？我仲以為大家會dead air一陣，然後寒暄兩句，大家問候下大家之後就收線。
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我：「咁啱嘅，咁你有啲咩想搵我？」
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Jessica:「你打嚟搵我唔係應該你講先嘅咩？哈哈」
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我：「係，我其實係想問吓你之前點解。。」
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當我講到一半嘅時候，Jessica就搶着講:「我講吓笑咋！哈哈。不過我而家有啲嘢忙緊，我可唔可以晏啲先搵返你？」
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我：「好呀，拜拜」
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Jessica:「拜！」
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呢一刻，我又喺度諗緊，點解佢個男朋友要Facebook inbox 鬧我，然後又要講Jessica壞話，最近又唔見佢再有message俾我。至於Jessica，點解辭咗職都唔同我講呢？ 點解我Wtaspp佢又唔覆我呢？點解啱啱打俾佢，佢又好似若無其事咁呢？ 太多太多嘢，我都解唔開。。。。
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2016年的秋天，趙家晴19歲，對於談戀愛還是一竅不通。
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