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things I heard/said

My teachers in online class:

Dude: "Bro you kind of look like the teacher."

Teacher: "No that's unacceptable...You can take over the lesson from here."

~

"Everyone please use your real names in the Kahoot so I can mark you for attendance...Wait who is cocomelon?"

~

"If at least half of you finish the assignment by tonight, I'll buy a guitar next week and sing Careless Whisper."

~

"Every single year! Every single year when we choose a class anthem Never Gonna Give You Up always wins!"

Wait I can explain-

***

"I want to turn you into a chicken nugget."

~

"That is not a jellyfish. It's a flat purple pancake."

~

"Did you just quote our English teacher? That was kinda hot."

~

"You're under arrest for the murder of an innocent orange blob."

~

"Stop kicking yourself in the balls and get your damn face off the carpet!"

~

Him: "Do you want my chicken sandwich?"

Me: "Sure."

Him: "I coughed on it and licked it though."

Me: "Give it to me."

Him: "I- but my molecules are on that sandwich-"

Me: "I said give it to me."

Yeah I got nothing to say for this one:

***

"You won't believe me but I think there was a raccoon following me to the bathroom...Wait that was your dog?"

~

"I started screaming without the s when I read that."

~

"Will you date me? Make your heart beat if yes, recite all the digits of pi if no."

~

"I drink apple cider vinegar on a daily basis....the elegance."

~

"Hent...Henton's potato salad."

PG-13
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Blog
Friendship
Family
posters and brothers

Nah man I'm so fucking pissed right now.

My freaking mother decided to be ruder than usual. I lost my wallet and ask where she last saw it and if she moved it when touching my stuff. She then yelled her head off and blah blah. Not helpful. She helped after 30 minutes and I found it but still annoying

NOW I'M UPSET! Okay if you don't know I love K-Pop and I spend a lot of money regarding the interest. I bought my first album about a year ago and my mother claims she bought it but it's because she's annoying and didn't trust me to find the right site. But I did and it wasn't nearly as expensive. She thought I was incapable after I asked how to input our address right. Either way she "bought" it but I gave her back all the money and extra. Then as soon as the album arrived I was really happy and shit. BUT THEN MY FUCKWAD OF A BROTHER THEN STOLE THE FUCKING POSTER! I was really looking forward to putting up on my wall because it was the first load of proper merch I got. But no since she favours my brother over me she just told me to let it go and I'll get other ones either. I did push that I wanted it back but eventually gave in though I was still upset. Never said I was happy that he could have it though. (Haha, my mother just came into my room and decided to twist everything and say I didn't sleep my word. this is dumb I'm crying over a frickaty fucking poster). I honestly hate that my brother has the poster. I had to pay back nearly 100 bucks. Oh did I mention that my brother actively talks shit about the group and always says how much he hates them.

Anyways I want the poster back now. I'm even willing to replace it with another one i recently bought. I want to sell the other poster since it's just collecting dust in his room and I also do this fun insta thing and I would like to let go of the poster. I politely asked for it back and offered to my brother that I can lend him another one. Keyword: lend. Anyways the kid refused to which I got slightly angry. I asked for it back a few times to which he still refused even though I mentioned it was mine and whatnot. I mentions multiple times that he fucking stole it but apparently, everything is justified i you're my little brother living in my mothers house.

I'm just annoyed :/

Oh yeah I'll post something more lightearted tomorrow!

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3
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Blog
The Small Things

I guess I should write out all the weird things I've heard in the past month or so.

*cursing*

"Yeah, Santa made out with my dad."

---

"My dog ate my hamster."

"Oh yeah? Well I sat on my hamster and broke its neck!"

---

"My grandma was in the hospital to get knee surgery, then she went into cardiac arrest and died."

---

“If you were a toddler and Santa came running at you full speed, what would you do?”

---

“How’d you get 16 as your answer?? I got 3091...”

---

“I’M SQUIDWARD.”

“Then I must be Patrick.”

“COME NOW, PATRICK! LET US FIND SPONGEBOB!”

---

“She fell off the Earth and broke her nose.”

---

“I LOST MY MOM IN THE CAR WASH.”

---

“You look like if Elmo and Ryan Reynolds had a baby.”

---

“Where’s the butter?”

“At your mom’s house!”

“I don’t have a mom—”

“OH SH*T SORRY I FORGOT—”

---

"HEY I’M CHINESE TOO!!"

"Dude, you’re f*cking Irish and German."

"Yeah, but I’m also 2% French!"

"WHAT?!? SO THEN I’M 50% CHINESE TOO!"

---

“What’s your favorite show?”

“PEPPA PIG!!” *snorts*

---

“Someone tried to steal my balls.”

---

“HOLY SH*T MY MOUTH IS DROWNING!!”

---

“I MISSED MY BRIDAL SHOWER!!”

---

“WHO SH*T IN THE CLOSET?”

---

“Oh hey! It’s John Dick!”

---

“How much would you sell your brother for?”

“ANYTHING.”

---

“WOOF! Did I scare ya?”

“Who the f*ck are you?”

“CRAP WRONG PERSON.”

---

“I know someone who can eat Jell-O through their nose.”

---

“When people ask how tall I am, I punch ‘em in the face.”

---

“BOYS! STOP THROWING PENCILS AT MY CHICKEN!”

---

“SHUT UP! THE TOILET IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING!”

PG
7
25
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<div style="text-align:center;font-weight:bold;">Writer</div>Penana<div style="text-align:center;font-weight:bold;">Co-Writer</div>Coen Wonder
Blog
Pena Coin Thanks Giving & Christmas Giveaway Contest!

Dear Aspirating Writers and Readers,

Long time no chat! Happy Thanksgiving Day! You may have noticed that recently Penana have launched our platform currency "Pena Coin" to the English and ASEAN language users around the globe!

So, what is Pena Coin?

Pena Coin is Penana's platform currency, which can be purchased and use for sponsoring stories or writing contests, buy e-publications, or activate premium web and app features on Penana!

As Users, you can purchase Pena Coins in the link below: https://www.penana.com/buy_coins

As writers, if you receive any Pena Coin sponsorship, it will be recorded as your revenue and stored in the following link:https://www.penana.com/myrevenueNote: You can withdraw your revenue (using PayPal account) once you hit the HKD 600 threshold (which is approximately equivalent to USD 77).

Pena Coin Conversion Rate:100 Pena Coins = HKD 1 = USD 0.13

Contest Rules:

This festive contest will run from Thanks Giving Day (Nov 24) until Christmas (Dec 25),and all you need to do is leave a comment saying "Hi Penana", then we will allocate 100 Pena Coins to your account!

If you want to earn more Pena Coins, you can also submit an entry to this contest to tell us about what you think about Penana. We will allocate extra 200 Pen Coins to reward your participation!

Remember, you can only comment or post an entry ONCE. Repeated comments and entries won't count.

Click to Join Here --> Pena Coin Giveaway Contest

Hope you guys will enjoy this festive contest and start to use Pena Coins to reward quality content.

Thank you, and as always, "Keep Writing Great Stories!"

Best,

Penana

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