We'd been walking hours, the only light for us was the head torch from Fallen. It jostled against the trees and the paths as he walked, shifting the weight of Lucas on his back every so often.
I was managing to keep up, despite my knees and legs wobbling under me. There were a few times that I thought I might trip and fall because my feet are so sluggish, and they keep dragging along the ground.
I have to wipe away some the sweat from my neck, it doesn't help much in the grand scheme of things because the sweat is everywhere, thick and dampening the top under my coat.
Worst of all is my breathing, it's getting more difficult through the pain in my rib and it's not helped especially when the rucksack agitates it more every time I stumble.
I had no clue where we were but Fallen seemed to, carrying Lucas without complaint all this time. We'd travelled through the forest a while ago now, coming out into the open with what I can only assume are fields upon fields of land that rolled over each other. It's hard to tell that though because it's just dark, but I can't see any villages or house lights anywhere I look.
We'd been walking through this empty darkness for ages, I keep an eye on Lucas ahead of me every so often. His floppy body still shows no signs of waking up.
I was starting to worry how long he was unconscious now, not that it seemed to bother Fallen at all.
Eventually, the sounds of a stream grew louder as we walked along the stony path, lined by a small old wall and under the moon I could just make out the mountains in the distance that loomed over us.
There is no way in hell I could climb one of those right now.
My hands gripped the shoulder straps of the bag, leaning my head back as another wave of nausea and pain washed over me that I almost stop. It was only a few moments later though, that Fallen stopped in front of me, the sounds of the rippling water from before now a loud thrumming. Water splashes, and there's a rippling textured noise mixed in to form this monotonous calming sound.
I stepped up beside Fallen who turned his head slightly, my eyes squinting under the bright head torch.
My eyes followed his torch though which when I see the winding path veering off to our right as it continues to follow the line of the wall. Its grey stones jagged and old, barely looking like they should be holding up.
It was looking under the torch light that I realise how hard I was breathing, huge plumes of white fog engulfing the torchlight because I'm trying to catch my breath.
Fallen suddenly ungracefully dropped Lucas to the grass by the river in front of us, the moon dancing along the top of the rippled water as it weaved its way through the numerous rocks and gravel.
His shoulders rolled as he reached up a hand to rub them slowly, grunting in pain when he left Lucas on the floor and walked to the river.
"5 minutes." He called back to me in a grunt of mumbled words.
His light moved away from me, reaching the river side he dipped in a hand, I watch him rubbing the water over his face. He does it over and over again before he sat back, shoulders slumping heavily.
I took the advantage to unclip the buckles of the rucksack and slide it off my shoulders, groaning in pain when it exacerbated every single wound.
The bag dropped to the floor, a loud thump against the grass when it landed. It was then I could finally release that breath now that the bag wasn't constricting my movements quite so much anymore.
I sank down to the side of Lucas, swallowing away the sickness and pressing my hand against his chest to comfort myself. At least there was someone here that was familiar, even if he were unconscious.
His features were hard to see under the dark light, but he felt colder than normal, so I pulled off my hat from my head and manoeuvred it onto his. Having to gently lift the back of his head to place it on.
It was tight enough around his head that I was sure it wouldn't fall when we started moving again, it was something at least. It might keep him a little warmer.
I grabbed his hands and started to rub them between mine, breathing out deep to expel my heat into his. It hurt to do anything and without the hat on my head the cold was biting at my flattened hair.
I was trying, this was the only thing I could think to do that might help him right now.
"Your boyfriend couldn't be helpful and wake up now, could he?" I looked up, the headlight flashed down on us before switching to the bag beside me, rummaging around inside of it and pulling out a water bottle.
He gulped loudly, sighing in relief once he finished and he swipes a hand under his jaw to catch the droplets of the cold water from his chin.
"He's fucking killing my shoulders." He chuckled, groaning again when he massaged his left shoulder. He drops the water bottle beside me onto the floor with his other hand.
I shook my head, a fire of anger spurting from my eyes, not that he cared enough to look at my reaction.
"Shut it." I spat at him.
"Oh, come on Elbina. I've had way worse. He's being such a baby." He scoffed before he leant down and patted Lucas on the cheek a couple of times, I smacked his hand away.
"Leave him alone."
"Whatever." He fell down onto the grass in front of me and rested his elbows on his knees. Head bending backwards to look up at the night sky, it was clear and bright. Completely different to the thunderstorm we left back at home. I glance down and to Fallen for a moment before I followed his own gaze up, the lack of light pollution in the countryside meant the entire sky lit up with billions of stars. It was beautiful, something that shouldn't belong in this moment.
My hand falls along the skin at Lucas' neck, trailing it with the back of my hand. "He's so cold." I mumbled to myself, sniffling the running water from my nose. Fallen only silently tilted his head to hear me but said nothing.
"How much longer?" I begged it wasn't long, he wasn't moving. The cold was getting to him.
"Another 2 hours probably."
My shoulders sank in worry, Fallen's foot pushed the water bottle towards me. Its metal lining tapping against my lap.
"Drink."
With shaking hands, I opened up the lid and took small sips of the water. Its icy temperature shocked my throat before it chilled my insides when it swirled into my stomach.
I pressed the metal up to my temple, easing the headache from the fever I was probably running now. My skin still felt hot and sticky, but really, I felt frozen cold.
"Where have you been Fallen?" I spoke quietly through closed eyes, breathing in deeply trying to rid the nausea spell.
"Around."
My eyes opened, looking at him blandly. "More specifically."
"Around here?"
I huffed in frustration. "This is stupid."
He chuckled in front of me, slapping his hand on the ground beside him before getting up. Stretching out his limbs, relieving the stress from his shoulders. He leaned down and heaved Lucas back on to his shoulder before looking down at me.
"Time to go."
I gulped down that bile and shakily got to my feet, throwing the water bottle into the rucksack, closing it up and clipping it into place on my back.
Fallen was already walking ahead, steps slow and steady whilst he readjusted to carrying Lucas again. My ankles ached the minute I started to walk but it was something that I would just have to deal with.
And so, we began again, aimlessly following Fallen as we trudged through the countryside. Trying to stick to as many footpaths as possible but occasionally cutting through fields or blocks of wood to reach another path. The mud caked my shoes when we dropped into a deep thick mud bath, Fallen having no issue with it. I, however, did not find it as easy, falling two steps through it when I couldn't initially find the strength to pull my boot back out of it. Falling to my hands and knees in the mud, breaking through the thin ice covering it. A concerned voice sprouting up from ahead of me when the head torch shone down on me.
It took me a minute, but I picked myself back up and wiped my hands on my jeans before begrudgingly grabbing a hold of Fallen's outstretched hand, effectively pulling my boot out of the mud.
It was after we had crossed a small stream, already feeling the weight of my boots lighten with the loss of the mud from the bottom of soles that I noted how much time had actually passed. Because the morning was starting to close in, the darkness was still covering the land around us like a thick cloak, but the sounds of wildlife began to increase in volume.
The occasional chirp of a bird became choruses that seemed to push Fallen faster ahead of me or maybe because I was slowing up.
We came up to the bottom of a hill, the winding path lit by the head torch, seemingly heading up forever to reach the apex of the rise.
"We're nearly there." He sounded like he was talking more to himself than anything else, but it helped me anyway.
I shook out my hands that seemed to feel weaker and weaker, starting to feel alike to a poorly attached limb of a doll than anything real and functional to a human body. Having to physically think of moving my arm to my head to push my sweaty hair out of my face from the wind.
The height of the incline ahead didn't make me feel much better after his comment, my entire body was about ready to collapse.
But Fallen was already carrying Lucas so there really wasn't much choice in the matter for me but to just get on with it. My hands gripped at whatever I could to drag myself up this hill that was certainly on the verge of being a mountain at any rate.
I don't know how long it took me to get to the top but Fallen was already there waiting on me with Lucas leant against a rock on the ground behind him. He was staring out at the sunrise, the light smeared across the sky in a stunning array of colours.
The ground dropped down quick in front of us, the mountain side to our right laden with trees that took on that frosted sheen. I glanced back at the rolling fields we came from, the sun just peeking over and spreading slowly over the ground.
Now in the rising light, the mountains in the distance capped with snow became visible and I couldn't help but smile a little.
I completely forgot about anything and just took it all in. I'd never seen something so naturally perfect, having only ever seen the town and industrial estates back home.
Here I thought London was pretty... it had nothing on this.
This was unspoiled, iridescent beauty and I don't believe anything could compare.
"Pretty isn't it?" I hated to agree with him, but I nodded in response.
He stretched out an arm and pointed down the cliff to the small wood that sat at the bottom of the decline.
"That's where we're headed. I have a cottage there." My eyes strained to see but I couldn't see a house amongst it at all.
This feeling of dread felt heavy on my chest now that the journey was coming to a close. We were coming to a destination, which is scary because I had no clue what would happen once we got there.
I couldn't imagine the state I was in right now, there's mud and sweat covering every part of my body. My hair is in complete disarray from the wind, which is picking up even more so now with the higher altitude.
I stepped closer to the edge; it would be a steep decline to the bottom. Thankfully there's a overgrown path that I can make out, it winds its way down the slope, breaking up the steepness a little.
My feet practically toy with the edge at the tips of my feet, wiping my hand over my face to wake myself for the last part.
"Ah fuck!" I spun around quickly, Fallen was holding his jaw tightly. Lucas was picked himself up from the floor, looking to hit him again.
He didn't have a chance though because Fallen reacted quickly, landing a kick into his chest forcing Lucas to fall back again against the rock.
"Are you kidding me!? You wake up now!" Fallen groaned, wiping at his jaw.
Lucas tried getting to his feet again and I couldn't be more relieved to see him up and moving.
"I've been carrying you all night!" Fallen's hands raise up in exasperation, chuckling to himself in some form of dry humour.
It was like Lucas had completely zoned out anything that came from Fallen, instead he lunged forward tackling him to the ground. His fists launched into Fallen but none of them landed, he quickly kicked him off, jumping to his feet to face him.
He shouted loud to Lucas; hands splayed out in the air between them, trying to halt another attack from him.
"I've made a deal with Elbina! She does what I say, and you don't get killed. You don't want me to have to break that, do you?" Lucas glanced over Fallen's shoulder, eyes matching with mine and shit, he was furious. His eyes scanned my every feature, only growing angrier the more he looks.
His shoulders heaved up and down, fists clenched so tight I thought he might break his own hand.
"She's not Elbina! You've got the wrong person, you mental case!" Lucas screamed at him, taking a step closer.
He didn't know.
Of course, he didn't.
But I was five when this all happened, it was made clear to me I couldn't tell people.
Lucas had only ever known me as Ella Reemer. Not that I wasn't her... I only see myself as her.
Shit, this wasn't supposed to happen.
Who I was born as, it was never meant to impact my life now.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
"I wish you people would stop with the mental case thing. It's actually a little offensive." His odd humour caused a smirk to form on his lips, which I see when he looks back at me partly. It only enraged Lucas more.
Before either of us could react, he charged at Fallen, throwing him way back and my eyes widened as they fell towards me. So close that Fallen's head collides into my legs as he fell down to the ground, and stupidly, I tried to step back forgetting where I was.
My body tilted backwards into oblivion, except I wish it were because it probably wouldn't have hurt as much as it did right now.
I flipped backwards, the bag taking most of the fall, but it flipped me onto the side, and I was left tumbling down the cliff side.
It was so surreal and every smack against the rocks and gravel came so quick that I didn't have time to react to any of it. Shutting my mouth and trying to stop myself, none of my efforts made a single bit of difference though. All I could do was to ride it out until I hit the bottom, trying my best to protect my head from hitting anything on the way down.
My leg smacked against a boulder at the bottom finally bringing me to a stop, I almost bite my tongue, I can't breathe for a moment through the sharp pain, a low groan falling from my lips unable to do anything else.
Their shouts come from above me, I managed to tilt my head through the dizziness to see them both running and skidding down the cliff side towards me. I coughed, bringing that same agonising pain from my ribs again which in all honesty, I think I'm just used to that now.
Fallen reached me first, he checked me over grimacing at the state of me. He helped me up onto my butt, the rucksack heavy on my shoulders despite it resting on the floor behind me.
The minute that I was upright, the bile was too much to contain, and I tilted to the side vomiting onto the ground. My hair was pulled out of my face as I retched the entirety of the acid from my stomach, it burns on the way up so my throat is sore by the time I stop vomiting.
"Take off her rucksack." Fallen held my head up even though all I wanted to do was fall back and let gravity take my heavy head.
"My ears... popping." My mumble quiet because I wasn't even sure I had lips at this point let alone how to function them.
Maybe I did hit my head on the way down?
I let them manipulate my arms out of the straps, hands shaking whilst they did so.
"Shit. What is that?" I managed to tilt my head back, partly because Fallen's hands relaxed slightly letting it go back and all I had to do was move my tired eyes.
Even through my shaking vision I could see the dark red stain on the light grey rucksack.
"Woah... did I period on that?"
I thought it was hilarious in my head, practically giggling to myself but they didn't seem to think so. They moved my body forward and I felt Lucas pull up my jacket, his hand peeling my top back.
"We need to go to the hospital"
Fallen's blue eyes narrowed, shaking his head quickly. "No."
"Do you honestly want to kill her!?" Even through the popping of my ears I could hear the shout from Lucas behind me. Fallen responds equally as loud, his hands gripping slightly tighter around my face.
"Of course not! But I can fix this." His thumb grazes along my sore cheeks, and it's comforting amongst the rest of the feelings going on.
"You're not a fucking doctor!"
He twisted me around, so my head rested in his arm, readying my body to be picked up. He was looking down at me carefully.
"She'll be fine." He says quieter.
"You don't know that! You're risking her life!"
"WE CAN'T GO TO THE HOSPITAL! THEY'LL FIND US!" The crack in his voice barely there but it still weirdly enough hit me right in the gut. I don't care about him, after what he's done but why did that affect me so much?
The silence droned on, my lips crack under the pressure of how dry they are. The morning sun rises up more, so it peeks over Fallen's shoulder, settling its subtle warmth on my sore cheeks.
Lucas dropped his tone into distaste and anger. "You shouldn't have kidnapped us then."
He shook his head above me again, glancing up at Lucas before scooping me up in his arms and lifting me up. My head lolled back like the muscles in my neck had been slashed and there was nothing there to hold it steady anymore.
The world looked fun upside down.
"She's my sister. I'm trying to do everything I can to save her." My chest constricts hearing it, and there's a long pause until Lucas responds.
"What?" Fallen readjusted me in his arms, I sucked in before releasing a pained shuddered breath out. They paused above me, I noted Fallen's arms tightening slightly around me.
"She's Elbina Milderson. I'm Fallen Milderson... I'm her brother."
"She's not fucking Elbina, It's Ella Reemer." He ground it out, a seething tone I'd heard him take with one or two people in the years we have known each other.
"No... It's not." The surety in his voice, authoritative and truthful.
Because it was.
I didn't hear any other words shared, either because nothing more was said or because the whooshing in my ears grew too much to hear anything.
All I could feel was the burn of my skin as Fallen jogged with me, holding my breath to minimise the number of painful grunts passing from my mouth.
The sounds all mixed together but I knew they were rushing, the trees loomed over me now, their murky green and brown colours blending together akin to an abstract painting dancing across my eyes. I could even make out Lucas jogging behind me, the rucksack on his back before he rushed ahead of us.
We stopped briefly, then the stale air of a dim lit room surrounded us as Fallen carried me through a door. The light suddenly switched on blazing me with light that had me squinting.
"Stay with her. I'll be back in a second." He dropped me onto a wooden table, my cheek planting with the cold wood beneath me.
"Get rid of the bandage!" His quiet shout faded, I watched him run out of sight and I was left with Lucas pulling my jacket off. Quietly apologising whenever I whimpered in pain, his hands pausing each time.
He managed to lift my top up enough to expose the entire of the bandage and he began slowly pulling it off my back. The sharp sting pulled me back to consciousness more, grabbing onto the edges of the table hard, gasping and gritting my teeth. Tears pooled in my eyes, yelling out when he pulled at the wound a little too hard.
"If that's bad then she's not going to like the next bit." Fallen was back with a bunch of different items. Prepping himself and the different things on the counter behind him, his back to me.
"Is there nothing you can give her?"
Fallen turned quickly, wild eyed waving a hand at himself. "Do I look like a pharmacy!?"
He grabbed something from behind him, pulling his hand back with a bottle of something along with a bowl full of cotton wool. He sighed, looking up at Lucas behind me.
"Just hold her down."
Before I knew it, hands gripped onto my wrists holding them down to the table, his elbow resting between my shoulder blades carefully to prevent suffocating me. The fear building in my gut, I was beginning to sober up solely from the adrenaline rushing through me.
This was going to hurt.
"Bite down on this." My hat was shoved into my face, and I reluctantly bit down on it; I wasn't prepared for this.
"Ready?"
NO
HOLY MOTHER OF –
I screamed into the material in my mouth, the flaring agony from the wound when he doused it in liquid. Quickly changing to the cotton wool to clean it, but still dipping it in that unholy pain induced liquid hell which he wiped at the wound on my back.
What felt like an eternity was probably pretty quick because he moved again and grabbed some more stuff from the counter behind him.
This time, the numbness from the previous clean made the stitching not as bad. I still whimpered each time his needle poked into my skin, but it felt more weird than anything. The sensation of my skin being tugged together and clicking of the needle holder every so often.
It was only when he finished applying the bandage that Lucas released his grip on my wrists, his elbow removing from my shoulder. I pulled out the hat from my mouth, breathing shallow and quick.
I planted my palms on the wood, using them to lift myself up. Lucas caught me when I wobbled slightly, helping me sit up fully. I hadn't even noticed Fallen had disappeared before he came back with a t-shirt and a pair of jogging bottoms. He dropped them to the side of me, pulling out some tablets from his pocket and handing them to me.
My fingers clasping around them carefully, slowly dropping them into my mouth before grabbing the glass of water that he passed to me. I didn't second guess it, gulping the water down and swallowing the tablets along with it.
"She'll be okay, right?"
"Yeah, there wasn't that much blood really. We've been walking the entire night; she just needs to sleep." He leant forwards, helping me off the table and guiding me through the small cottage to the hallway at the back behind the sofa. There were two old brown uneven beams that rose from the floor to the ceiling, we moved around behind them and there were 2 doors to the left and one to the right.
He let me lean the majority of my body weight on him, adjusting us when he reached the second door on the left. Pushing the dark brown door forwards, the double bed in the centre illuminated when he turned the light on and helped me drop onto it. Lucas came through the door afterwards holding the clothes that Fallen had brought out.
"I'll let him help you get changed." Fallen turned to leave, giving Lucas a pointed stare to not try anything, saying he'd be right outside the door if he did.
He walked over and lifted me up from the bed, my legs wobbled, and he turned me around so my back faced him. My shirt was peeled off my back and pulled off. I nodded to having the sports bra off, he unclipped it from behind and I managed to ease the straps off, whimpering occasionally when the bruised bones from the fall shouted at me.
As soon as the bra was dropped to the floor, he lifted the t-shirt over my head. Its length reaching way down to my lower thighs
I held onto his shoulders when he knelt down after turning me around to be able to undo my boot laces and helped pull them off, my feet blistered and painful to touch the floor. He then pulled off my jeans, helping me step out of them before replacing the dirty jeans with the jogging bottoms. The warming cleanliness of the clothes tired me out and I dropped to the bed, the painkillers slowly starting to kick in, leaving me only enough time to get under the covers before the only thing I felt was the slight graze of Lucas' lips against my cheek.
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