Matthew's POV
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"Grazer" I warn him as we wade through the long grass. He snorts and scoffs at me, annoyed by the scent of the fire. Somebody must be having one hell of a bonfire in the distance, it's wafting right through the valley. It's my second favourite time of the day, dusk. It's a time where everything transitions; birds flock and migrate, the temperature changes and the light dips to a more comfortable brightness. Leaves have turned brown and time has changed the seasons. Something about the time between day and night just makes everything more mystical. The fog, the lack of light it's like being slap bang in the middle of a movie set when you look out into the distance. Long grass and dandelions. The air much cooler than it has been throughout summer, luckily Emily and I both enjoy the cold and so since autumn is in full swing we're both content sitting by the fire, me roasting marshmallows for her to eat. I'm still awaiting the brisk minus temperatures and the snow. Wondering how the fields will look coated in white, the Manor House surrounded by thick white clouds sprinkling down a fine dusting off snow.
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"Here" I say pulling at Grazer's reins to steady him when he stumbles through the thick undergrowth. Countless trees leading back to the estate. I pass oak trees and willows as my mind thinks about all of the reasons Ross has not called me back. There are no new messages, from anybody. It is utterly silent in Italy. As I guide the horse through the valley I decide whether to call her. I've never really considered myself to be psychic but at this precipice I decide to wait for a sign. Calling Taylor and hearing her voice again I fear would ruin the illusions of my new life, and I must keep my love for Emily alive and kicking. So leaving it to fate, I guide grazer through the dense grass and watch the last remnants of light disappear.
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Grazer anticipates the lake ahead and his mood picks up, his hooves striding through the water when we get there as I laugh and tell him to keep it calm. Emily has spent the day with the wedding planner, a tall woman who is around forty. Blonde hair and manicured nails, she's the epitome of too much. High maintenance kind of old woman, even just her shrill voice when she enters the manor home. How she goes on about us needing a glass champagne fountain and a photographer with a decent camera unlike my canon.
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Emily however is swayed by the price point we have paid, she must be worth the money she continually informs me. She must know her stuff, she sighs when I get slightly uptight about her throwing shade over my cameras. The horses will be a part of our big day for the horse and carriage; Emily hesitated but we consider them our children and so they are part of the ceremony. Grazer was her worry, he's young and he gets excited. She's worried about having him around people, and so I laughed out loud telling her that I would take him out more often.
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"You and I are alike" I whisper down to him. Unlike Apollo her stately looking stallion, grazer isn't a fan of large groups of people. He usually gets a little skittish and so Emily is worried he may ruin the wedding. Not a chance I had told her, he's my boy I had informed her and she had laughed. Before she proceeded to demand who I was asking to be my best man. Which leaves me at this conundrum, as Jay Gilbert Scott would be the obvious choice. Being that he was my long term childhood friend it would make sense. I had been his best man when he married the love of my life. The idea of Taylor though at my wedding to Emily isn't a pleasant one, the two worlds that I do not wish to collide.
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"Here boy" I say harshly as he rears up slightly growing skittish again at the rustling leaves in the dark. The shadows that lay in wait around the trees. Using the reins I guide him over to the clearing in the trees and he rears up again.
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"We're almost there whatever am I going to tell her if you continue acting like this" I reason with him as he trudges through the mud. Being that I've never ridden horses before I consider myself a quick learner, either that or grazer really just tolerates me.
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The large stables in sight as grazer lets out a loud neigh, unlike the ones I've heard from him before. A sound that echo's as he rears up and I find myself sliding and struggling to keep myself astride him. Thankful for the hat Emily has insisted I wear as I find myself trying to tuck myself and roll away from him as he stomps around and I'm falling to the hard ground. My shoulder feels the impact first and I watch him gallop ahead of me, out of control as he lets out another neigh. Heading straight for the stables where Apollo stands looking at him almost derisively.
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"God darn it" I curse as I attempt to pull myself up, feeling a sharp pain in my side. It's rendered me winded and out of breath as I lay in the concrete gravel, the moisture collecting in my eyes as I look up at the moon above me and curse myself for leaving my phone inside on our nightstand.
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Each movement makes my shoulder ache as my mind gets progressively woozy, clearly I had hit my head harder than I had realised. Two flashes of light that are blinding hit my eyes as I close them to the world. Only the trickling of rain pelting down on my face as I sob. This is your sign Matthew, I think idly as I refuse to open my eyes. Imagining never setting my eyes upon Taylor again, before I sink into a nightmare where the only sounds are her sobs.
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***
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A deep blue, like the oceans. The type of blue that with the lack of light almost appears black. Where shadows of your past lovers linger. Matthew, I hear her call out as I turn my face looking through the depths of water. Knowing that I'm sinking further and further down where I will no longer be able to pull myself up for air.
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Taylor, I call out into the water, my voice almost non-existent as the water collects in my mouth. Sinking me further into oblivion. Screams that pull me under.
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Matthew she calls and I scrape my hair back. She must be here it's no illusion, I can hear her clear as a ringing bell.
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Two big dives and her voice becomes clearer, I'm closer. The impression of a body, facing the other way. Hair delicately swaying in the water and the curve of her bare spine.
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Another dive and I am almost behind her, you left me she sobs and I shake my head yearning to make everything better. I'm here I whisper but my voice cannot be heard as she continues to cry.
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Taylor I am here I shout, wishing I could set my eyes upon her face. Yet every time I reach for her there's nobody there.
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A huge wave sweeps over me and washes me away. Crashing waves that send me to another world where I belong.
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***
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"Matthew" Emily shouts at the top of her lungs as I wince seeing her face just in front of my own. The fall. My rearing horse and the rain all comes back to me. Her hands shakily pushing my chest up and down which makes me laugh as I’m breathing but she’s in a panic.
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"I'm all good" I whisper as she scoffs alarmed at the pain all over my face.
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"The bloody hell happened" she exclaims fretting. Her hair wet and sticking to her face and a plaid skirt riding up her legs. Her riding jacket pulled around her as the wind swirls and I laugh slightly at her panic.
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"Grazer happened" I explain looking up at her as she shakes her head checking over my shoulder which at worst is sprained.
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"It's just a sprain" I whisper as she checks over my head and the whack that had caused me to black out and sink into dreams of my ex partner.
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"You have a concussion" she says.
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"And possible torn rotator cuff" she deduces as I sweep her hair back and smile.
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"Oh I think I'll be just fine" I whisper, hazily as she blushes and I pull myself up. Sitting astride her instantly in the dark. Her eyes watch me curiously as I hide the pain I feel in my shoulder and neck. I pull her tartan skirt up and she gasps my name. The rain pelting over us as I take her tights and rip them slightly.
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"Now? here ?!" She sighs as I kneel unzipping myself and her eyes widen.
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"Yes my darling" I whisper pushing inside of her as she gasps and I watch her mouth open in shock. The tartan skirt soaking up the rain water as my fingers graze over her bare wet legs.
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"Matthew" she sighs and her tone changes entirely, full of passion, her eyes closing due to the effect I have over her.
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"Matthew, I love you" she sighs and I smile watching the rain soak us through, my shirt sticking to my bare chest.
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“Come here” she whispers up at me and I lower my body to hers. My lips invading her mouth as she holds onto me.
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“Matthew” she sighs as I break away from her mouth briefly. I wipe the rain water off of her face and she sighs again at my stillness inside of her.
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“Yes darling” I ask slowly, my eyes raking over her.
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“I want you to put a baby inside of me” she whispers and I realise the moisture around her eyes is due to her tears rather than the English drizzle. I’ve been vocal about my need to fulfill my duty as a man to his soon to be wife. However Emily has not until now, shared the same desire as me.
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“A little baby that we can love together” she sighs as I gaze down at her hearing the rain splash around us.
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“You’re gonna need to say something” she whispers growing worried by my silence and intense stare.
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“Darling I’m going to do just that” I whisper moving inside of her again with a small smile over my lips.
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