Matthew's POV
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Hospitals. Large hospitals with flashing lights and bells and alarms. Bright blue plastic chairs and busy waiting rooms with water dispensers. At four am, it's just my favourite place to be. Emily has asked me what my problem is being that I am rather sulkily sitting on my own plastic chair. Seated in a waiting room with a drunken brawl going on in the distance as I look at her annoyed and she frets over my shoulder. I sigh telling her that it's all totally unnecessary. However the swelling and the pain increased after I scooped her up and carried her home under the moonlight.
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Her tartan skirt back on and a padded jacket wrapped around her as she stares at me. Emily was correct in saying that I have a torn rotator cuff. Utterly busted shoulder which she is more worried about considering our wedding which is less than a month away. She's already told me she won't have me up the aisle in a cast as the nurse laughed and I smiled.
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"This is why, no grazer" she sighs and her green eyes linger over me.
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"He's alright just was spooked is all" I defend him and she tuts, asking me what I want from the small vending machine and proceeding to sulk off and purchase her tea and my coffee.
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"Matthew" a doctor announces as I stand clutching my arm and walk over to a small booth. Emily eyes me as the machine prepares two coffees and she stands tapping her feet impatiently.
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"The concussion to your head Matthew, you need to monitor it, seems it was quite a fall. Please any light headedness or confusion, or if there are any concerns please come back" he insists, an older gentleman with wiry grey hair and black rimmed glasses.
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"Your shoulder will heal, there's no need for any surgery. However the fracture is worse than I had thought and you will benefit from pain pills and wearing a sling. Six to eight weeks you'll be right as rain" he informs me as I nod counting the spots on the curtain before me. He hands me a green slip before placing a sling over my t shirt, it offers instant relief from the pain and I breathe out steadily.
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"Remember, any issue- come back" he smiles as Emily hands me the coffee peaking through the curtain before I stand.
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"Of course" she assures the doctor before we slip back through the reception area. She laughs eyeing my expression and the sling before I walk us over to the Land Rover. I pull out my Marlboro lights and laugh as I can't move my other hand to spark up.
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"Oh you need help lighting the death stick" she smirks as I giggle telling her to behave.
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"Please darling if there's one time I need it" I beg and she full on chortles opening up the large black motor and sitting behind the wheel.
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"What kind of wife would I be?" She laughs grasping the clipper and sparking up the end of my cigarette. I sit back in the leather heated seats as the rain patters down on the windscreen watching her green eyes stare back out of the window before she turns the car over and drives us through the car park. Wondering whether I had been uttering Taylor’s name in my delirium when she found me.
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"Before the wedding, I'm going to Italy" I announce and I notice her shock instantly, I'm almost as outraged as her. In truth I hadn't decided upon it myself, yet saying it aloud means I have to commit to making the trip. No excuses, running back to the sunny farmhouse of my past before I enter my future. The sign has been laid out clearly, falling off of a horse having another odd dream concerning Taylor, it's enough to make me book a flight. Even just to settle my curiosity. The worry in the pit of my stomach.
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"Why" she whispers and I glance over at her soft features.
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"I need to see a few people, friends. I'll invite them back" I explain, I will do no such thing.
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"After that I'll be all yours" I whisper to her as she raises her eyebrows and the passing lamps illuminate her face. The Land Rover manages the smaller country lanes with ease as she drives us over potholes and around deer crossing the roads.
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"Are you not already all mine" she whispers finally, looking out of the window rather than at me. Not even one street lamp, just fields either side of us and small fences that mark out land.
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"Of course, are you forgetting the ring on your finger" I say silkily, and her expression softens.
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"I need to actually ask my friend, Ross, to be my best man. I've tried calling but his phones off, it is disconnected I don't know" I begin softly.
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"What do you mean disconnected?" She sighs and I shake my head as she pulls into the gated grounds. Storming up the lane that leads to the manor home.
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"I cannot get an answer, perhaps he has a new phone" I surmise wondering idly what is keeping him so busy. The house is magnificent upon arrival, I never grow tired of seeing the sash windows, the large water fountain.
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"Matthew surely he would tell you if he had a new phone if you're such good friends" she announces with her normal derisive tone. Sometimes Emily assumes she has more sense than me; the only reason I allow this is because it makes my lies seem believable.
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"Either way quick trip, couple hours on the plane" I instruct her and she nods soberly. Pulling up the handbrake and helping me with my door because of the sling over my shoulder.
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"Will Taylor be there?" She asks insecurely, her eyes worried as I look upon her in the rain. Her face drawn in a contortion of concern and worry. Pausing I breathe out steadily and the rain silently patters over her face.
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"It's her home." I say defensively walking us through the rain to the front door. She scoffs once we're inside and I look at her pulling her jacket off and shaking her boots off. Slipping my own boots off by the door I wait for the questioning.
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"I'm coming along" she explains seriously pulling her hair back into a ponytail, having placed her coat on the large wooden peg by the cloakroom.
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"And what about the wedding plans, making sure that is all secure? What about your hen do?" I announce panicking as I walk through the hall, intent on sleep. Imagining Taylor and Emily being in the same room fills me with absolute worry and at any cost I cannot face it. Jogging up the stairs and over to the master suite with Emily pacing behind me, fretting still.
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"Darling, I'll go when you're away that weekend" I say planning ahead as she sighs heavily watching me pull off Levi's and walk into our en-suite.
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"You have it all planned huh" she laughs through the door and I shake my head looking in the mirror, it's the first time I've considered walking out. Deserting my new life, leaving her in the dust and travelling to Italy with a nonreturnable ticket. Emily has her clutches on me and I do not enjoy the restrictive nature of her love. Two deep breaths and I pace over to her standing looking out of the windows. Her nightgown on as I wrap my hands around her waist. Time to bring out the big guns again.
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"Where is this coming from, I just told you I would give you babies" I whisper in her ear, my head in her neck. Her hair swirling around my face as I breathe her in.
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"Let me get this done" I ask of her watching her reflection in the panes of glass. She stares ahead at the rain and I kiss her neck softly.
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“We’ve had a lot of unprotected sex” I whisper distracting her with my lips, she sighs and I watch her reflection getting lost in our physical contact. How she rests her head back in my chest. Her mouth opening slightly as I brush my hands over her waist.
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“I understand” she whispers slowly once I guide her over to the large ebony bed. Refusing to be distracted by my baby talk she looks up at me hovering by the voiles and bedposts.
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“I’m sorry I just love you” she whispers softly.
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“I love you Emily Henderson” I tell her watching her as she lays back and I climb into the bed next to her. Staring up at the chandeliers, the rain pattering against the window panes and expecting to hear her soft breathing imminently as she drifts off to sleep. Instead she sobs and the sound of her sadness alarms me as I hold onto her instinctively.
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“I thought you had fell and…” she whispers in the dark as I curse myself for failing to see her perspective. Emily had seen me unconscious and had thought my fall had been fatal. Briefly I remember her performing CPR on me when I had been waking up from my fall, she was panicked and fuelled by absolute distress.
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“I saw you on the ground and I kept saying he will be okay. Didn’t believe myself, so I checked your pulse and your breathing. That was all okay. Checked your head, and that’s when I heard what you were saying” she whispers and my blood runs cold as I gaze at the patterns on the wallpaper. Floral flocked wallpaper in dark purple hues that seem oddly strange although I have slept in this room for years.
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“Taylor, I’m here. Over and over again” she whispers pushing my hands away. Wiping my own tears I don’t come up with any excuses, it would be utterly disrespectful to even try.
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“Over ten times Matthew” she says softly facing me in our bed.
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“I am not mistaken” she sighs before wiping her eyes.
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“I’m not saying you are Emily, I can’t get through to anybody in my past. It’s on my mind, I’m worried.” I say heavily as she turns in the bed facing the other way.
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“Why am I not allowed to come with you Matthew” she asks me directly as I prop myself up on the bed and peer over her shoulder.
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“I didn’t say that you were not allowed” I explain softly.
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“If something has happened for my worries to be justified I will deal with it on my own. This is not yours to bear” I say softly. I consider the conversation closed when she remains silent, when she no longer objects to me leaving. Briefly before I fall into unconsciousness due to the strong pain pills I think about finding Taylor, having searched for her in my dreams time and time again. How she will look upon me with her blue eyes, I can only hope our reunion will be a happy one.
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