Taylor's POV
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Every so often I will catch myself thinking about the house he showed me in England, glossy images of a country escape with a lake at the back. Matthew had just purchased it at the time, a manor home surrounded by meadows. And I imagine him sitting with his British fiancée in the window seats watching the countryside go by. Painting glorious portraits of her and taking walks down to the lake in the evening. Yet every time I say goodbye to him, occasionally he just reappears. Beamed in like some kind of illusion. Some dream of a man that lives in the country with his beautiful wife. It's an odd feeling of acceptance, whereby I have found happiness for him, yet I am utterly unable to tell him. And I'm almost positive that should I have the ability to tell him then I would stop randomly imagining him in my mind whilst I'm making coffee or stirring the pot at dinner.
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This evening however, Ross and I are having dinner together. Having spent the day in Florence, after checking up on the little boy growing inside of me. We opted to learn the gender after all, it reduced us to happy tears as the nurse congratulated us on our little boy. A small little life growing steadily in my womb, I cannot wait to hold his little fingers in my hand. Being that I am just over five months into this pregnancy thoughts of birthing the baby linger in my mind.
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Ross scoops his hair back and I watch him across the table from me in a small Italian bistro with my mocktail in my hand. He's sipping his beer and I'm sure by the expression on his face that he's pinching himself and wondering how we got to be in an exclusively together, having sex in the back of his mustang kind of relationship. I blush heavily reminding myself of how his body possessed me and a whole new set of emotions takes ahold of me. Watching him lounge back and eye me with heat behind his stare.
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"I would like to say I really enjoyed our drive this morning" I smirk and he laughs, a clear happy sound as he blushes.
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"Lord Taylor, I love you" he says finally having laughed for a few minutes. I watch his easy smile, the way his blonde curls fall over his forehead and I couldn't imagine life without him. How through all of the difficulties and tragedies of this year he has become the other part of my soul. Being able to express ourselves and our love for one another physically is merely just another aspect to our growing and flourishing relationship.
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"I love you too" I whisper over to him before gazing at the live pianist. It's serene, the twinkling of the keys that fills the air and the scent of authentic Italian cooking with local produce. A single lit candle on the table, as I gaze over at his strong hands and realise there is no other man for me on this earth. No other man to stick through the thick and thin, the trials of my life. To look upon me with honour and respect and to hold my hand in his own despite everything.
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Wiping away tears from my eyes as I look up at him and alarm sweeps over his expression. A long sip of my virgin Long Island iced tea before I assuage his worries.
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"Happy tears, I need to explain to you Ross" I begin and he leans forward holding my hands in his own like I knew he would.
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"There was a time when I couldn't imagine my life being any different. I couldn't see past the things that happened" I begin, my first husband Jay had been perfect beyond measure. The most wonderful father. The best husband I could have ever asked for, one who loved passionately. One who is at rest.
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"There was a time when I thought I would never leave that bed, and every morning I imagined I would wake to find that you had left. For months, day after day I had risen and felt you would be right in leaving" I begin softly as he protests and I merely wait for him to allow me to continue.
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"And then Ross, there was one morning where I realised you were never leaving me. I woke up and the air felt different, my very being felt weightless as I realised you were not going to leave me. Ever. And that morning..." I begin wiping my eyes slowly as he holds onto me, his eyes wet with tears.
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"That morning I realised you are the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. That if you ever did leave me I would just cease to exist. I heard you feeding my, our, children downstairs, felt your arms wrap around me when you stopped me from being sick. And I felt again after having been depressed for so long. Felt every intense feeling so vividly." I say softly as he watches me intently.
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"I love you. And those words cannot even cut it" I whisper as he stands instinctively, the pianist playing a piece of Chopin impressively as I train my eyes on Ross. Patrons growing interested in our exchange as the waiter holds back with a smile getting the cue to not disrupt our moment. Two large pizzas in his hands as he gazes upon my beautiful man standing before me.
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"Taylor" he begins and I'm sure that my name will be on his lips during his last ever breath on earth.
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"I have loved you" he begins before he bends down to his knees as I sob facing him. Turning on my chair and yearning to hold him. Something is happening, my mind screams and my heart pounds. The piano twinkling in the background as I dare not take my eyes off of Ross for fear of missing the moment that Ross George Peterson proposes to me, for the second time. The first had been in Australia just days before my marriage to Jay Gilbert Scott, it was, as he put it his last attempt at convincing me that we were supposed to be. The ocean out of the window throwing waves to the shore like there's no tomorrow, the sun setting producing a warm orange glow over his face as he kneels before me and I smile.
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"Since I met you, as seventeen year olds. I've loved you every day of our lives. And Taylor" he begins sweeping a black velvet box out of his jeans pocket that I remember all too well.
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"Now this isn't the first time I'm doing this" he chuckles and I practically jump out of my chair throwing myself at him, screaming yes I do.
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"Would you do me the absolute honour of being my wife, through better or worse. To have and hold for the rest of our lives" he whispers opening the box and revealing an engagement ring that I've seen before however he has added two more beautiful diamonds to the cluster in the middle. My heart thumps and I eye him before wiping the tears away from his eyes.
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"Yes, I will marry you Ross" I whisper as the entire restaurant collectively awes and his face softens. I pull him into me as he places the ring upon my engagement finger. It slips on my hand and sparkles under the light, he stands and I take him in my arms kissing him.
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"I'll love you forever" I whisper meaning every single word. Seizing my lips in his own, his arms around my waist as he holds me and the waiter congratulates us. Setting down the pizza plates on the table and shaking his arms out as we thank him. He smiles at us loosely, and pats Ross on the back telling us to enjoy our first meal as an engaged couple.
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"I would offer you champagne but..." he laughs looking down at me clutching bump.
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"Perhaps on the house celebration cake ?" He smiles and I nod as Ross keeps his eyes on me the whole time seated opposite me. Appraising his ring now on my wedding finger.
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"Of course" the waiter nods as Ross smiles and the pianist begins a new piece.
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***
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One beer and he's driving me safely across Italy back to Perugia. I'm sitting imagining us in a small church in Italy, an intimate affair with those closest to us. We've discussed our expectations of the wedding over dinner. Opting for our parents, Rachel and Chris as we tie the knot.
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"I told Rachel" he whispers holding onto my hand as he drives through the country roads.
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"What did she say!?" I smirk as he chuckles rubbing my hands.
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"She said and I quote: she better say yes this time" he laughs and I giggle.
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"She's having the babies tonight" he smiles reassuring me as I hold onto his hand. All be it Henry is pretty far from being a baby we still call him it, much to his annoyance. However he will always be my baby. My first and my biggest treasure.
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"Have you told her I said yes, she will be beside herself" I remark and he chortles.
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"Not yet I've been busy staring at you, I don't even have my phone. Can't remember the last time I looked at it, it's in the bedside drawer in the spare room" he laughs. Ross and I have finally been sharing a bedroom, the master suite. Where he holds me all night long, we are yet to be physically intimate in bed, having only had sex with one another in his car. It's so Ross to have sex with me once and then propose to me on the same day, he's an in it for life kind of man.
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"Honey" he whispers as I message Rachel and inform her of the good news.
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"Yes my husband" I smile over at him as he blushes.
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"Ohh that's nice" he smiles rubbing my arms as we cruise through the Italian countryside at night. The stars above us shining into our drop top and the gentle breeze sending my hair back.
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"I'm going to ask Christopher to be best man" he whispers as I nod, I had imagined Ross would be wed one day. I just could never have imagined I would be the bride. Gazing down at my ring I remember the first time I saw it, how he got down on his knees in Australia and I imagined the sort of woman that would get to wear it. How I romanticised placing it on my own finger and toyed around with the idea of being his.
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"I think Rachel may protest if I tell her that she's not maid of honour" I laugh as he smiles.
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"I think so too" he smiles and I'm sure that it's the first time I've seen him absolutely happy, sincerely. Like it's radiating out of him.
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Ross pulls into the lane that leads to the farmhouse and leaves the car out front. He scoops me out of the white mustang and carries me in his arms to the porch as I laugh and giggle. All of the lights off as we stumble through the door, he kicks it shut and proceeds to carry me through the dim hall up to our master suite. With the house in darkness, only the moonlight streaming through over us as he lays me down on the bed in my pale yellow dress. I stare up at him, his eyes looking into my own and realise that we as women have many loves in our lives. An all consuming first love, a man that gives you the world. And as I look up at Ross I realise that he is the love that lasted, the love that mended me and the man that taught me how to love again.
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"Ross, make me your wife" I whisper slowly unbuttoning the front of my yellow dress. The air charged between us as he unbuttons his shirt watching me.
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With my dress laid out underneath me and his clothes fully removed I eye his bare body and smile as he takes charge. Gasping as his lips meet mine, sighing as he thrusts into me and clawing into his back as he moans my name.
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"Taylor, you're mine forever" he sighs opening his eyes as he looks down at me wildly.
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"You're going to be my wife" he whispers bearing down into my soul as I gasp coming undone beneath him.
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