Matthews POV
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"Alright Matthew, a couple more shots. No overstretching or falling over" Paul quips as I laugh rolling my eyes. I had planned on calling in and cancelling on him but Emily had declared she was picking up her wedding dress. Of course I was not allowed to join and so without her knowing I hopped into my Porsche and drove out to yet another castle for yet another wedding. The grounds double up as a golf course and so Paul and I have decided when I'm on the mend a game would be a great idea. Endless acres of perfectly pruned gardens, well cut lawns that I can imagine in the sunshine would be glorious. I imagine us in our finest jackets and slacks putting some balls and smile.
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"Jobs almost done" he says and I smile over at him, sling on one arm and the camera around my neck.
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"I'm ugh heading to Italy over the weekend" I begin over the booming music, some soppy love song blasting out of the large speakers. The bride and groom gazing in one another's eyes as they sway.
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"Oh really I wonder who for" he rolls his eyes slowly; although Paul has never met Taylor he has been subjected to all of my continuous conversations surrounding my undying love for her. Usually talks after we've had several beers and ones where Ross would laugh and tell me to at least go and see her instead of hiding out in London.
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Paul manages the shoots for the company, the main multimedia platform that I am still an employee of. Wedding photography is my side business. However around a year ago what started out as a small side business picked up and the extra help became necessary. Paul and I had put together an impressive portfolio of shoots, it's a huge selling point. Customers like that they are getting a real photographer rather than a kid that just dropped out of college.
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"Last minute cold feet on Emily?" He comments assuming that I am going to see Taylor in order to rekindle our burnt out flame. Honestly the thought has crossed my mind, twice. Taylor often crosses my mind which is startling considering the amount of self work I have done in order to keep her out of my mind.
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"Not exactly. Look..." I begin taking a few shots of the bride and the groom cutting the cake. A large four tier cake with cream and pink layers. Brides choice clearly.
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"I cannot manage to get into contact with Ross, or anybody. Phone lines are all dead" I finish looking up from the camera and checking through the shots. Paul and Ross had been friendly with one another, both of them relaxed and carefree spirits that enjoyed the odd brandy together.
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"I have a feeling" I begin slowly turning to face him, his face lined with concern as he eyes me. Small crinkle lines around his eyes.
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"I just need to check in" I tell him once we begin packing up the cameras. The storm outside rattling branches over the windows as leaves rustle and rain patters down. Paul shoulders the bulk of the luggage as we travel down to the car park. The party in full flow still above us as guests gather on the stairs drinking champagne.
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"He usually comes back" he says slowly thinking about Ross with a frown on his face before I skip out into the rain and get behind the wheel. Pulling the car out front as he loads up the equipment.
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"You drive it's safer" I say slipping my sling on again as he heads over to the drivers side.
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“When did Ross leave man” he sighs driving my Porsche with a smile over his lips. His beard grown out, according to him his wife loves facial hair.
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“Don’t judge me but I haven’t heard from him in a long time.” I say wincing before taking another set of pain killers.
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“How long” he says exasperated taking the country roads by storm and most likely ruining my tyres.
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“Six maybe seven months” I admit slowly and he shakes his head, the wipers on full as I anticipate a call from Emily any minute. She will realise that I am not at home and panic, I really need to be a better husband I think idly as he drives.
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“That’s…well there’s something going on there” he laughs suggestively.
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“What do you mean” I sigh waiting for the pain to ease, it was one shoot too many. My arm is on fire and I am bearing this conversation surrounding my past. No matter how I’ve tried to block it all out eventually it all creeps back in.
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“Well Ross goes away, he goes silent. Ross is with Taylor.” He surmises and I shake my head.
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“Not a chance she’s married, he’s Ross and he would never ever…” I begin as a dark shadow crosses the road, Paul slams on and the car screeches to a stop. Two deer jumping across the path as he shakes his head stunned.
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“Lord” he says slowly.
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“Thought it was a bloody person” he sighs as I stare ahead at the deer prancing in the rain. Darting towards the trees on the opposite side of the road and disappearing quickly into the forest. Dense thick trees that let in zero light, where all of the shadows lay.
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“There’s a whole load of deer by the estate” I tell him and he laughs nervously before hitting the accelerator once more.
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“It’s just Ross he sold the company” I begin looking out at the headlights passing us on the opposite side of the road.
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“Yeah” he says in an exaggerated tone.
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“He ain’t coming back” he smiles rubbing his chin.
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“Guy played the long con, he was waiting for his moment with that girl. Remember the way he would look whenever you said her name.” He laughs slightly, Paul is slightly older than us and generally he found our constant chatter about her amusing.
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“He hooked up. Hook line and sinker he’s taken for now promise” he laughs and I shake my head lighting up a smoke and handing him one.
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“Guy goes off the radar. Knowing you’re in love with her. Can only mean one thing” he sighs inhaling his smoke with a smile.
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“It could be anything” I say lying away to make myself feel more in control.
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“You’re forgetting she’s married to a millionaire CEO” I wager and he laughs his head swinging back.
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“Well Matthew when you do return, I cannot wait to tell you I told you so” he smiles looking at me briefly.
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“Ross has that whole thing; I’ll love you for the rest of my life. I’ll die for you kind of shit” he laughs as the car stereo music stops alerting me that my phone is about to ring.
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“Duty calls” he raises his eyebrows at me as I answer Emily’s call over the car speaker.
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“Hey baby yeah” I begin as she demands to know where I am and Paul scoffs slightly.
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“Are you bloody nuts Matthew” she sighs exasperated as I wince from her shrill voice. This is a code red, absolutely she is mad.
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“Your effing shoulder” she shouts exasperated by my antics as Paul chuckles.
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“I can assure you Emily I did all of the heavy stuff” he intercepts and she scoffs. Paul is good with women, in the way only a slightly older man can be. He placates her and reassures her and she comes around. Eventually she asks how the shoot went and even laughs when he tells her about the pink wedding cake.
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“Roast is ready, Paul please do come and have some food” she says warmly as he grins over at me.
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“I will do that” he smiles before we hang up and I push my hair back.
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“Looks like I’m invited to yours” he smiles as I shove him lightly with my good arm.
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“Hey no pushing when I’m driving the Porsche” he laughs.
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“You’re good at that” I say and he smiles.
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“What talking to angry women” he asks laughing his head off.
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“Yeah man, she gets annoyed at me a fair bit” I laugh as he turns into the lane that leads all the way up to the estate.
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“But you make things work, that’s what marriage is all about” he says slowly.
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“Man you should have been there when I fell off the horse. Emily flipped and rushed me to hospital” I laugh as he looks at me carefully.
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“I’m gonna say it” he says slowly after a pause.
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“You go to Italy now. You’ll open up a whole new can of worms, and Matthew quite honestly I don’t want to be picking that shit apart with you for the next ten years whenever we have a beer” he laughs slightly.
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“What I mean is” he says parking the Porsche in the drive and hesitating before he looks over at me.
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“Emily loves you. Most people don’t get it, but she does. She rushes you to hospital when you have an accident. She forgives all of your little indiscretions and idiotic behaviours. Man you gotta love her back.” He says slowly.
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“So what if he is with Taylor? So what right? You have a life here with Emily. Get married, have kids and grow old together it’s that easy man” he sighs smiling slightly.
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“Hey I’ll even be your best man/wedding photographer” he laughs as I chuckle looking out at the estate imagining our kids running through the gardens. Sunday roasts with my family, we may even invite Paul over to join us.
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“Kind of pissed you haven’t already asked me!” He laughs and I shake my head before we get out of the car and walk through the rain to the main building. The horses neighing in their stables, the scent of wood and oak trees.
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“Man would you…” I begin and he laughs.
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“Thought you’d never ask” he smiles slapping me on the back before we head in out of the rain. Roast beef and potatoes emanating from the grande kitchen as I shake off my boots and feel the soft carpet beneath me. Sure that however eloquent and true his speech was, I still need the answers from my past to continue with my future.
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