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Chapter Two; Moments I miss(ed)
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Come to think of it, we’ve known each other for quite a while—long enough to share memories, inside jokes, and countless conversations. And yet, in all that time, I never really got the chance to see you celebrate your birthday. Not once did I get to be there for your special day—to see you smile with people around you, to hear your laugh in the middle of the celebration, or to witness the way your eyes light up when you’re surrounded by the people you love.
I’ve only ever greeted you once—and that was when we first met. It was such a simple gesture, one that probably didn’t even mean much to you at the time. But to me, looking back now, it feels a little bittersweet. Because there were so many chances I wish I had taken, so many moments I wish I didn’t let slip away. Your birthday is one of them. Not because the day itself is the most important thing, but because it was a piece of your life I wanted to be a part of—and somehow, I never got the chance.
And when my chance finally came, it was also the moment everything began to change between us. And now, I’m left with the thought of all the little things I missed… including that. 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfMZPAb4x4
Birthdays are important, yes—but so are the other moments in your life, the ones that may seem small to others but still feel worth celebrating. Achievements, quiet milestones, even the simple fact that you made it through a tough day—I always felt those mattered too.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnYrjkVv7m
I’d often imagine myself doing the simplest things for you—small gestures that held so much meaning in my heart. Like taking you out for ice cream after a long day of schoolwork, just to celebrate how hard you’ve worked, because I saw the effort you put into everything you do. Or planning a quiet little picnic after you’ve finished your exams, where we’d sit on the grass, share stories, and watch the sunset like time didn’t matter. I imagined baking you pastries, your favorite ones, as a sweet reward for pushing through tough days.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LK8iNANUc
But it was never about grand gestures—it was always about being there for you in those in-between moments, reminding you that even the little victories were worth celebrating. Because to me, you always deserved that kind of care.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaBEq608UR
Of course, these little gestures weren’t just for you—they put a smile on my face too. Just the thought of you smiling, even for a moment, was always enough to make my day. That image alone brought me comfort, even from afar.
Though I wish I could, I have to apologize—because I can’t do any of those things I mentioned. I’m miles away from you and distance has a way of turning intentions into quiet wishes. And deep down, I know... even if I were close, you probably wouldn’t let me do them anyway. Not because you don’t deserve them, but maybe because things between us aren’t what they used to be. And maybe part of you has already let go of the version of me who used to care that way. But the truth is, I still do. Quietly, from afar.44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdStgpcsU7
And no matter where life takes you, no matter how far apart we are or how different things become between us, I’ll always be proud of you—proud of everything you do, of everything you’ve overcome, and of the person you continue to grow into. That pride, like my care for you, has never needed to be loud to be real.
However, no matter how much time passes, I will always miss the way things used to be—the way we laughed without holding back, how we’d pick on each other playfully, teasing about the little things we both couldn’t stand. I miss the joy that came so effortlessly between us, the way we could read each other’s moods without saying a word. I miss the small, quiet gestures—the kind that didn’t need to be grand to feel meaningful. The way we showed we cared without always having to say it. And most of all, I miss the sincerity in our words, the honesty in our conversations. Everything felt so real, so raw, so ours. And even if things are different now, those moments will always live in the softest parts of my memory.
Most especially, you.
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