The bus slows and come to a stop at a station next to a convenience store.446Please respect copyright.PENANAOCfhV2M23A
The driver stands and announces in a loud voice, “Philadelphia. We have forty minutes.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAf0uQzt9Nyw
The two women watch the others stand and stretch as they gather their purses and wallets before disembarking. As the others near the front Mechteld says, “Everyone will get off to have lunch.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAlTmUGpu1q5
“Will we?” Marquita asks.446Please respect copyright.PENANATc72xP2Wx1
“We won’t be eating.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAz3Pa3WzWme
Mechteld reaches into the pocket of her hoodie and takes out a pack of cigarettes and lighter.446Please respect copyright.PENANAqCf4dn0Dcz
“Come on, I need a cigarette.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAn8gVuaLCon
Marquita’s legs shake as she stands. The hours of sitting made her already weak legs stiffer. She wavers as she walks down the narrow aisle. When she gets to the top of the steps she firmly grips the rail as she feels Mechteld bracing her small frame by the shoulders. Together the carefully walk down the stairs. The driver waits for them at the bottom. Marquita locks eyes with him as he says, “Feeling better I see.” 446Please respect copyright.PENANAx4g0R3QpWV
His aura changes to a shade Marquita has always associated with suspicion. With the other passengers away his thoughts come out clear.446Please respect copyright.PENANAhgcnk4kdrx
“These two are weird. How do they even know each other?”446Please respect copyright.PENANADJgwSvNTlx
Marquita pauses to look at the driver and read more from him, but is interrupted by Mechteld pushing her forward towards the curb.446Please respect copyright.PENANAazU9xOWka0
Once out of earshot, Mechteld says, “He’ll switch out at Pittsburgh. He’s thinking about saying something to the next driver about us.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAIpmt8en0Hf
“Will he?” She asks. The thought is optimistic to her.446Please respect copyright.PENANAxJFY9H8GAN
“Maybe, he doesn’t know what to say besides ‘They’re weird’.”446Please respect copyright.PENANA6bhMlTDhFn
Together they sit on a curb, their legs stretched out over hot asphalt. From under her baseball cap, a bead of sweat runs down Mechteld’s forehead before becoming lost in the scars crisscrossing her face. Marquita scratches her head as the stiches start to burn as the sweat collects under the hijab.446Please respect copyright.PENANAg1JC4U8IHg
Mechteld pulls out her pack of cigarettes and quickly lights up as Marquita desperately fans air under her skirt. She looks at Mechteld’s long sleeves and says, “We stand out with all these clothes on.”446Please respect copyright.PENANARTd6LqkyqV
“We’ll stand out worse without them.”446Please respect copyright.PENANANtW1A7pDL6
Marquita thinks, “Should I try to stand out? Is being noticed the key to getting home?”446Please respect copyright.PENANAzjqwWZeLa8
Marquita looks across the street to the convenience store where the other passengers were buying their lunches. It feels odd to Marquita that she isn’t hungry. She knows she hasn’t eaten in days, yet the absence of hunger pangs is discomforting.446Please respect copyright.PENANA6MIE4wl25J
Turning to Mechteld she asks, “Do you really never eat?”446Please respect copyright.PENANAums5mP73L0
“Only on rare occasions. Some immortals keep up the ritual, but it seems redundant to me.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAMXYv1CKsQu
Marquita thinks about an existence without food. For her, it seems to alien and unnatural to live without it. In Corona, life revolved around faith, family and food. She suspects she won’t have any of those things while with Mechteld.446Please respect copyright.PENANA4yak00lsNw
Marquita thoughts go to the last dinner she had with her parents. After their prayers, their meal suffered from several strained silences. It was the first dinner they had together in months, but despite his chronic absences, her father had made an attempt to be there and make her happy by making her favorite food. The memory stings Marquita’s consciousness as she thinks about it. Even with the silence and confusing feelings, the memory is precious to her.446Please respect copyright.PENANAvkvKDJoxqA
Thinking about her last meal Marquita says, “I could never give up my favorite food-”446Please respect copyright.PENANAFjfkBQoGwI
“Tostones.” They say at the same time.446Please respect copyright.PENANADPXJNr9Tqv
Mechteld nods, “Yeah, I know.”446Please respect copyright.PENANASdjJ00g17O
“Surely you have a favorite food?” Marquita asks.446Please respect copyright.PENANA9P3Rtrxbul
Mechteld takes a long drag from her cigarette and lets it out slowly, “You’re looking at it.”446Please respect copyright.PENANA7HlSIV1As0
Mechteld rubs the butt of her now spent cigarette on the ground before taking another from the pack. Quickly she lights it and sets her pack and lighter back down.446Please respect copyright.PENANArvR9dlBtzn
Marquita asks, “Did you read from my mind that I loved tostones?“
Mechteld shakes her head as she breathes deep before letting out a cloud of smoke, “No, I learned that from your father.”446Please respect copyright.PENANA2SziCgDuDz
Marquita again wonders about her parents. Had her father gone back to work after only a few days of losing his daughter? Did they tell their family in the DR what happened? Had they planned a funeral? Or were they looking for her?446Please respect copyright.PENANA6YPZqjNGaX
Marquita thinks back to the picture of her father in the paper. She knows he was hurting. His tired eyes etched in the newsprint showed a level of emotion she hasn’t seen in years. It was a reminder that despite everything, she meant something to him.446Please respect copyright.PENANAlHJ8LIJfTi
“He always made tostones when he came back from a long trip. He would pretend he was making them for himself, but he’d always make me the most.” She says out loud.446Please respect copyright.PENANAFk8U8CyJTB
She thinks again to the awkward silences at dinner and at the hospital and about his casual wave as he walked away from her hospital room. 446Please respect copyright.PENANAqNiWstAmVX
“He could never say it.” She says as she keeps remembering his hand waving back at her. “He always had to be so hard.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAurR80U39UH
“It wasn’t his fault.” Mechteld offers. “He expressed himself in the way he knew how.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAASGaGkiREM
“I’d trade all the tostones in the world for one real moment with him.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAKOwCfG63WF
Marquita hangs her head and thinks to herself, “Not even in the end could he do that.”446Please respect copyright.PENANARbeuNKV9ql
“At least you knew.” Mechteld keeps her eyes on pavement. “He’ll regret actions for the rest of his life.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAsQ2GOckaP0
Marquita turns to Mechteld with her eyebrows slightly lifted.446Please respect copyright.PENANA3stlzNi1DD
“Or at least until I see him again.” She adds.446Please respect copyright.PENANAvOYpPAiSPA
“If.” Mechteld corrects. “We’re only in Pennsylvania. You still have a long way to go.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAfqczcyMLXX
The thought enters Marquita’s mind, “Why wait and follow her rules? I can end this now.” But it’s quickly extinguished with memories of heads scars, fire, and her father’s unconcerned wave.446Please respect copyright.PENANAV1tgXiOOm0
“Before he became scared of me he wasn’t afraid to hold my hand. Whenever we’d walk around our neighborhood he’d hold my hand and say, “Stay close, New York is the most dangerous place in the world”, but when we would visit Santo Domingo he’d hold my hand tighter and tell me, “Stay close, Santo Domingo is the most dangerous place in the world”.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAlZpixbrrON
Marquita grins slightly as she remembers, but her hazel eyes hold sadness.446Please respect copyright.PENANAOFsqIafBmC
“I used love Sundays because my dad didn’t work. After church, just the two of us would walk to the bodega hand in hand and he’d buy two chocolate milks: one for me, one for him.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAlthPLDyq7p
“When I started to know things I shouldn’t, he treated me different. His grip on my hand became looser until one day he let go. After that he started to push me away and eventually he got his job so he could run away from me.”446Please respect copyright.PENANA7qL3c7LQlp
“It wasn’t you he was running from. It was himself.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAEnQPaQuuEv
“Yeah, but when you’re ten it doesn’t make a difference.”446Please respect copyright.PENANAYpaRXo229r
From the bus the hear the driver shout, “Five minutes!”446Please respect copyright.PENANAP8MJA3b3SG
Marquita looks down at the small pile of cigarettes next to Mechteld. She realizes she has been unaware of how long she has been talking. For her, she finally had a chance to tell someone the feelings she kept to herself and despite the circumstances she feels there is so much more she wants to say.446Please respect copyright.PENANABrOHVhXWqA
Mechteld stands and shakes stray ash from her clothes.446Please respect copyright.PENANAf0HLCVt0Mb
“Come on, let’s go. Use your eyes and ears this time.”
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