這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXp1xXGzna
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TguuNxMTl
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WS2I75RFM
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdEY0BJIk6
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mDU25w99Q
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjMfLHFxqq
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwCEYEIc3b
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UKcBf00nh
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8rBHAyyyw
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzCE38x0u1
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpdRtQoOG1
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOwZa2a8Pd
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfppBFnYYgo
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfsKqYmLsT
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMMYAq8D0B
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR2wq3H6uu
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOmmi40P7k
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxymU51T2VH
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3CQECpOxJ
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yOEsdiKMD
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJb1MiMwDu
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuQCDPsDSR
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW82SwUPVD1
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4w8ofPLp7U
她按著肚輕輕點頭。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaN95hfRk4
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWBzv4Q6FC
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3L0u96bfRv
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2hMeDLd4z
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrI1DElP1z
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ5poLeEMt
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIfFRMzu3u
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9CuoL9vJ8
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jI0jo940E
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBTivA0iHw
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCABCMSKsA
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzFcBkKiTg
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjWc4UjzOo
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEfxnvf8kb
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvbQKeCVVe
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3k4UoEe5X
「辣架?」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5RevXPA0e
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZs0emBLte
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQswlYv1o7D
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbP1YLVhQA
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡja50Eh66wG
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3aBn6JrFd
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wBDOIBl91
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuLUFlegUd
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPFMTFDXon
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14qPekv91t
「唔該。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfETUuVKAs
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWpAH0lvL8
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWs1wcLdp1K
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡql8AeQG3aG
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUvS1BEfQl
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB97aLEZPq
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckKebUBw1z
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ofU5D3b93
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVelARx1gU
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMFv5vrZaT
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhusm6zzhef
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk88m5rmc25
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDU3ivpIAd
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnkB9YTZ9t
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEykbLLoJF
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZDLKwa3mB
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7c8Vwo5G2
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0jQlR4NCZ
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCelYIzJtKG
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcb3l5ZCEy
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkZvTr2tY3
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegLAWhIqp3
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZgz1iEj6i
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpwaWoO2VB
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiUmTSyzg3
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGJapKYXjq
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJ6ye2ezi6
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYy72A1rXJI
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPluSrgsByf
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡik71emTcDS
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9LekHQkKx
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZkXsHbTK8
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjQ7LSPUkf
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2NjGtk6Vf
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7sO6K99Xr
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uB6YmSHuB
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLRB8nTcMC
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSZ7jmZ51R
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4npqRduyvD
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbajXBahSj
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWaUb2z4Yn
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qd4Vi4bb9
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiwFiZECj9
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGTRsl4JZN
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRo9xTCzAO
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHAMjCmVWM
「茶你老…」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9GVQzI6CF
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxydjzPlx0B
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bIm4bvYlZ
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjdhqrleYl
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdELnGjmbca
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3CCRBgbtl
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76GIFsrz57
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqb025sZWT
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3pv9urUCt
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDwGj5c2GB
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcvZq8PuZZ
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXoKCIMpfB
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hJJtLhBJS
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aNhTa7dPo
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbL5I4fUqg
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYkr3pwrrh
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYc0rl1Iepl
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62TeYQRau0
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBMIRrbWHP
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