在我所說的的穩聊對象中,最後那位被我稱之為風獅爺的,當然,他不可能姓風名獅爺,又或是姓迷名唇姊,那是他的綽號。91Please respect copyright.PENANAuNrhE6blHh
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但在這則故事裡,我都會以風獅爺或迷唇姊稱之,因為這樣才最符合日常生活中的我們。91Please respect copyright.PENANAjTGvotOyjF
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迷唇姊,留著一頭過肩長髮,有著兩片的厚厚香腸嘴,身材大概是圓的那種,你要把前一句的大概去掉也不是不能。91Please respect copyright.PENANAsuWMcJcX81
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最佳的形容詞就是,嗯,迷唇姊。91Please respect copyright.PENANAxRKzRXe973
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至於綽號來源,尚請我娓娓道來。91Please respect copyright.PENANAyaRavBrZmU
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人到了一定年紀,就會開始懷念,而身為高中生的我們,真要說懷念的事情,那還真是不少,畢竟學習階段的我們,往往是長大的我們所羨慕的。91Please respect copyright.PENANAXS8JI6GDfs
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這外號還得拜我們班有個長的很像從窯坑出來,全身塗滿木炭叫杜宗達的人所賜。91Please respect copyright.PENANAwumHp8HhcQ
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杜宗達是個很妙的人,怎樣個妙法?91Please respect copyright.PENANAMBqz6UrQLE
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剛開學時,男生總愛湊在一起,討論著自己過去的事蹟,討論著誰國中的女朋友身材比較好,長的比較漂亮,而當我們問到他時,他總以一句我的女友在美國來結束對他的質問。91Please respect copyright.PENANAKkr69E01Ji
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母胎單的各位請學起來,以後別人問你有沒有男女朋友,一律回答在外國就對了。91Please respect copyright.PENANAmLs2WZLHh8
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高一上,他的志願是陽明醫學系,過了半學期,他的志願從醫學系變成了警大,再等到我下次聽到,他的志願又變成要考警專了,然後讀書不去圖書館,而是跟別人約在電影院的門口的座位。91Please respect copyright.PENANAJGFgzDXvD0
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最妙的是,他還有種與生俱來的優越感,他總覺得自己的話是真理,他的笑話大多時候只有他捧場自己,就是這種無可救藥的笨蛋,我竟然跟他結交成好朋友,實在是感嘆。91Please respect copyright.PENANAqcfBABzFHl
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抱歉,我好像花太多篇幅在幹譙杜宗達了,請拉回正題。91Please respect copyright.PENANAaAZLn0eEi7
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在某天一個糟糕透頂的下午,不知道怎麼搞的,這天爛下午突然聊到了神奇寶貝,正當大家都很興高彩烈的說著自己以前自己有著什麼神奇寶貝卡、鬥片(我應該還沒有老到跟這社會脫節,大家應該知道鬥片是什麼吧......)時,杜宗達又在他的無限跳針日常。91Please respect copyright.PENANANe9yGf9Xi4
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「0,你跟催眠貘長的超像。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAaxpdZaHv82
「0,你就是一隻呆呆獸,你永遠不會變成呆呆王。」91Please respect copyright.PENANA5cLn3mtzn0
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0是他的口禪,而像這樣毫無營養的對話內容就是他的每天日常,偏偏他的嗓門極大,想不聽都難。91Please respect copyright.PENANAmZI4ffLAT8
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也正因為他的嗓門極大,正當他還自得其樂替班上的人想所謂的神奇寶貝綽號,這時那位和我穩聊的迷唇姊,以超越光速的速度,手刀直奔前來。91Please respect copyright.PENANAfZG6fQYTN7
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「哈哈哈哈哈,你是催眠貘。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAqJowkwLwXd
「哈哈哈哈哈哈,你是耿鬼。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAbGxPKebyA3
「哈哈哈哈哈哈哈,你是呆河馬。」91Please respect copyright.PENANAjHOkk8411K
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迷唇姊是個很不會看臉色說話的人,我可以保證。91Please respect copyright.PENANAmbHwJsp2mI
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在大家莫名被杜宗達胡鬨一場後,本就有些無奈甚至是些憤慨,無奈在於他是我們的朋友,憤慨則是想反擊杜宗達又顧及朋友之情只好作罷,而迷唇姊就這麼撞在槍口上,於是阿哲率先發難。91Please respect copyright.PENANAyYRKSMmb2t
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「你說,他是催眠貘,他是耿鬼,我是呆河馬,你有沒有想過你挺像迷唇姊。」91Please respect copyright.PENANA51z1jsWW2n
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老實說,我不記得當天迷唇姊的表情了,應該說我來不及看到,因為當阿哲講完他長得像迷唇姊時,剛剛的陰霾似乎被一掃而空,迎接而來的是大家爽朗的笑聲,大家都笑的像是條雞母蟲樣只能在地上按著肚子蠕動,至於迷唇姊則是臉上一陣青一陣白的,於是綽號就這麼傳開了。91Please respect copyright.PENANAvGscD01hGw
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雖然這個外號是阿哲取的,但這個爛下午,如果沒有杜宗達亂取綽號,就不會有迷唇姊的出現了,所以我認為這必須怪杜宗達。91Please respect copyright.PENANAu49ofF1tfi
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至於風獅爺,這鍋可能就要阿哲自己扛了,在某堂地理課,老師在介紹金門的戰地風光,然後阿哲就爆出了一句,迷唇姊你綽號可以考慮新增一個風獅爺了,你的體積比風獅爺還要大,應該更能擋風。91Please respect copyright.PENANAJoV6NSFQBe
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阿哲真的很北爛。91Please respect copyright.PENANA27Ug6NsTpe
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這節地理課,又是一個大家像隻雞母蟲在地上捧著肚子蠕動的一天,又是一個迷唇姊臉上一陣青一陣白的一天。91Please respect copyright.PENANAEhXEoMG1tK
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但憑心而論,風獅爺真的對我挺好。91Please respect copyright.PENANAbqaRYk6Dbq
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他對我好的事蹟,就留到後面再出場吧。91Please respect copyright.PENANAvBbITyalkf
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待續,不知不覺這篇故事也已寫了八千餘字,在寫的同時,我腦海中的高中故事片段也不停的串聯起來,這種感覺好快樂。91Please respect copyright.PENANAirJOIl7Dll
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也謝謝閱讀的各位。91Please respect copyright.PENANAxhT3GXPWtp