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No Plagiarism!TJ7KaFiHfE7prX0WiRBzposted on PENANA 「…..抱歉我講得太直接了」8964 copyright protection197PENANAsclx5jPTi6 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAhlYCz3vUQg
8964 copyright protection197PENANAFRZMlnEvOT 維尼
「沒…沒關係,畢竟月鴻同學這是已經比較好了」8964 copyright protection197PENANAzmciN2LPJq 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAl5Ugp8kw3b
8964 copyright protection197PENANAzdozm0ndmI 維尼
的確比之前網路上的留言來講,我已經是小case了,畢竟也沒有真的用不好的言語。8964 copyright protection197PENANA9oEZEJUN28 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA53IApAmJHz
8964 copyright protection197PENANAn3MzQocnsZ 維尼
雲晴同學也立即了恢復了狀況,打起了精神。8964 copyright protection197PENANA47yoMR8ljI 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAkIjkHVnilp
8964 copyright protection197PENANALmc91pY9Yb 維尼
「可...可以問一下是哪裡不行嗎?」8964 copyright protection197PENANAciYY5TG7SW 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAm5qejuWydn
8964 copyright protection197PENANA7l2IWqiBOl 維尼
她委婉的向我詢問出問題的點,其實不用這樣也行畢竟都答應要幫助她了,怎麼可能說完不行就走。8964 copyright protection197PENANAhUnUTJ7Ywa 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA1buKexfexi
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「首先不講劇情好了,劇情的話只有一點問題這我們可以之後討論,但重點是用詞方面的問題」8964 copyright protection197PENANAmXUAsO6560 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANApo7tPfVNjk
8964 copyright protection197PENANAdhC6p0Iq0i 維尼
「用詞....」8964 copyright protection197PENANAoyREyl5Qaz 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAKnNtBryzML
8964 copyright protection197PENANAolLzpfK78i 維尼
「首先是贅字太多了」8964 copyright protection197PENANAfDkJ3BNfLm 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAwP2PvGlbBI
8964 copyright protection197PENANAClhfFoPJF4 維尼
「贅字是什麼意思?」8964 copyright protection197PENANA3gcOJZMHAQ 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAn8v6BlFzkq
8964 copyright protection197PENANAlsfod5tJHn 維尼
「就是一些多餘的字喔,現在有很多新手作家常常把一些重複的字不斷的加進文章裡面,讓人讀起來很不順暢」8964 copyright protection197PENANAorW7KkRJgG 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANADvOwYv69ab
8964 copyright protection197PENANAzBpJP3KvFZ 維尼
「原來如此……」8964 copyright protection197PENANAtcsOXlAmpv 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAKR3SPSqUM1
8964 copyright protection197PENANAw3fUvKXaDj 維尼
「最常見的就是那個、這些、並且、而且、還有、然而等等...不是說不能用但要學會如何去做運用」8964 copyright protection197PENANAlIe4M1GdF7 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA7w1zDZdLQf
8964 copyright protection197PENANAUykwB93d7u 維尼
這是很多作家初期常常犯的錯誤,我當時也是一樣。8964 copyright protection197PENANAsihSdeo4dE 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAhNjL0qWI0W
8964 copyright protection197PENANAImhvQQTARx 維尼
但通常都會由朋友或是網路的讀者看過後提出來,但可惜的是,沒什麼人關注雲晴同學的作品。8964 copyright protection197PENANAnwjSTyOtOX 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA31LQlJcbHr
8964 copyright protection197PENANAzt3CSUWUKq 維尼
而她也沒有勇氣向其他人說出自己在寫小說這個事情…..8964 copyright protection197PENANA6MGYSRoqLE 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAVxSeX4dlgj
8964 copyright protection197PENANAbc3kl9zIbq 維尼
在雲晴同學聽了我的話後,將手放在了下巴上面思考著什麼表情十分的認真。8964 copyright protection197PENANAJaELtzuA3H 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA4xIlwtj5GT
8964 copyright protection197PENANAYb3Qb1iN3X 維尼
「阿!就像是如果要在一大堆人面前講話的時候,會因為太過緊張導致一直出現同一個詞,之前在台上發表感言的學生就是這樣,讓人感覺他一定很緊張」8964 copyright protection197PENANAHc7djNzdye 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANATilcTOBVD5
8964 copyright protection197PENANAbPffhnmGjr 維尼
突然她就像是想到甚麼一樣將自己的想法說出來,同時也順便嘴了一下之前的學生代表致詞。8964 copyright protection197PENANAvtPeMBylJL 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAmXnJcmdK1p
8964 copyright protection197PENANAkJcDPk4s0G 維尼
「差不多..就只是變成在文章上面的贅字而已」8964 copyright protection197PENANAsqSP6SEJY2 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAL7w2QB8nEY
8964 copyright protection197PENANAyuwRnJ9NZF 維尼
贅字通常是在打字時無意間用到的,時常會以為加了這些字後句子會比較順暢,但其實這都是要看狀況。8964 copyright protection197PENANAlwADNleF7r 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAFSkIR3GO5F
8964 copyright protection197PENANAJwVvYSL04v 維尼
不然通常時候去掉那些字也不會突然改變句子的意思。8964 copyright protection197PENANAHcCLlUlrXy 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAn6VSME615J
8964 copyright protection197PENANAnjMJgkezpb 維尼
「那我看一下!」8964 copyright protection197PENANABVbscyk76G 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA5tQUsT3AYU
8964 copyright protection197PENANAmBM2CUdYDq 維尼
「等….」8964 copyright protection197PENANA4WKBpzUfUS 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA9eKLW0KfYL
8964 copyright protection197PENANArh3r4bkpui 維尼
在我提出問題後,雲晴同學快速的從對面跑了過來,坐在了我旁邊..我們的手臂貼在了一起8964 copyright protection197PENANAvLGOWEqED4 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAtPLK3wX5qr
8964 copyright protection197PENANAK2XpdI6QnT 維尼
好..好近....而且好柔軟….這實在是有點不妙..心臟跳個不停…..8964 copyright protection197PENANArP0WyCGd1i 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAMeWVDjfoOb
8964 copyright protection197PENANApVvH1CldhO 維尼
雲晴同學身上的味道不斷的朝我的鼻子大量過來。8964 copyright protection197PENANAZzcz6qeWoM 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAfYjVOZGruq
8964 copyright protection197PENANAUg9MEn7FAB 維尼
讓我不禁下意識的往旁邊移了一下...8964 copyright protection197PENANAnWj9BrB6q8 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAtUGqyDsdzl
8964 copyright protection197PENANAkBRZLpGf79 維尼
「阿謝謝!」8964 copyright protection197PENANAFLcZk6DRpW 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAJAp2zEHUWi
8964 copyright protection197PENANAE9n4mIr3MU 維尼
不不不為什麼妳也跟著移過來了呢!8964 copyright protection197PENANAMF87xR1ujQ 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAz7bolTgF04
8964 copyright protection197PENANATt5xXVTdY4 維尼
雲晴同學貌似以為我是怕她無法看清電腦螢幕才坐過去,反而又往我這裏靠了過來..手臂反而貼得更緊..8964 copyright protection197PENANAUzkePeWt4a 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAaibTOtGTjh
8964 copyright protection197PENANAPVnz3XrObx 維尼
這女孩也太無意識了吧..8964 copyright protection197PENANAidhcE9jTa9 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAh4CgVMm41N
8964 copyright protection197PENANAPYFNYJrVDT 維尼
話說為甚麼女孩子的身體只要一碰到就會有香味出來啊!難道是天然的香水嗎!8964 copyright protection197PENANAU5CVdbz5fZ 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAQPVIepJDKD
8964 copyright protection197PENANABsrTWeZk7E 維尼
「阿!真的欸…這裡一整個句子出現了好多並且跟然而….」8964 copyright protection197PENANA1MydRBA1SX 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA0vVDF1OHab
8964 copyright protection197PENANAqfkZYDB8zP 維尼
「咳...沒錯像這樣雖然有些人會覺得可能是因為新人寫的所以才會勉強接受,但如果一直都沒改掉的話就會讓人感到不耐煩」8964 copyright protection197PENANAb7bQhpoJLx 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAg05cedN3xl
8964 copyright protection197PENANAj56TtTRl4u 維尼
我假裝咳嗽一下,讓心情給恢復過來並繼續解釋,幸好雲晴同學沒發現我的異狀。8964 copyright protection197PENANAupspnThg3S 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAutNbhjCkgW
8964 copyright protection197PENANAw2q9Rkg2Dn 維尼
「原...原來如此」8964 copyright protection197PENANA6yeFzsU97x 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA1u9ebxMJdt
8964 copyright protection197PENANA5zGOLVYIji 維尼
「是的..其實有時候適當的去掉這些字或是改成其他詞會更容易讓人讀下去」8964 copyright protection197PENANAtjuZiCNNQW 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAU5yIbRq0c1
8964 copyright protection197PENANA6rtE3YtEwP 維尼
「我..我知道了..來試看看吧」8964 copyright protection197PENANAGvM7ryNRVJ 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANATkVnpZnPjX
8964 copyright protection197PENANARd1B1RpI03 維尼
「阿等等還有一個地方」8964 copyright protection197PENANAvx1XSdWr7y 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAGlrI0YEqFj
8964 copyright protection197PENANAl45I09j6Sm 維尼
「嗯?」8964 copyright protection197PENANAPmJUTYs2Pv 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAJtetoQueOP
8964 copyright protection197PENANAEIXy1ES77S 維尼
「就是標點符號喔」8964 copyright protection197PENANA86KnZ3KYou 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANALLcjmW8EKB
8964 copyright protection197PENANA1DPFv6lTdZ 維尼
「標點符號?可是我都有標阿…」8964 copyright protection197PENANA8Go5VkOSIK 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAvEb12MLz0L
8964 copyright protection197PENANACHiHzGiUNl 維尼
「是有標沒錯,但標點符號就等於一個中繼點,讓人暫停休息的感覺,同時也代表了那句話的表達方式」8964 copyright protection197PENANA3WPqmHy2uU 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANALnsxA2VCEw
8964 copyright protection197PENANAcGkGc9sLjX 維尼
「表達方式….」8964 copyright protection197PENANAquPAChL9xH 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANALjrbenD8g5
8964 copyright protection197PENANALkAUlGp8qI 維尼
「沒錯..雲晴同學與其說是表達方式不如說是標太少了,讓人無法休息反應過來,尤其是雲晴同學又是寫熱血戰鬥的小說」8964 copyright protection197PENANArd3KhDXiv8 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAfO2U5cukjR
8964 copyright protection197PENANATKGtN3VIHL 維尼
「讓人無法適應嗎?」8964 copyright protection197PENANAgkz4KQuFxC 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAiud3Xk53qG
8964 copyright protection197PENANAqb5HvrIW08 維尼
「對喔,通常戰鬥小說在形容戰鬥的時候會用大量的句子去解釋當時情況,但如果妳四行字只用2個表點符號去描寫的話,就有可能讓人忘記前面在幹嘛」8964 copyright protection197PENANA4BilyttXyL 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANALt7FEMGMqx
8964 copyright protection197PENANAFIm0OOwwV2 維尼
「原..原來如此」8964 copyright protection197PENANAqYYgUfI4S9 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAEOeUmghS8J
8964 copyright protection197PENANAEF2dYf2VAB 維尼
「斷句就是讓大家暫時理解前面的話題,吸收之後再繼續閱讀,不然的話直接Enter換一行寫也可以,但有時候會熱血起來就會一直寫就是了,所以標點符號很重要」8964 copyright protection197PENANAf80cN0azNS 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA3lkYXEnmog
8964 copyright protection197PENANAWykxlv350S 維尼
「我知道了!那現在就來試改看看吧!」8964 copyright protection197PENANA2XASxKiiph 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA4d8lq8VH4M
8964 copyright protection197PENANALt92tf7hYE 維尼
雲晴同學在聽完我的話後,重新打起了字聽從我的意見適當講一下詞語給刪除或是進行更換。8964 copyright protection197PENANAJ2bBmu7xgS 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAsrGKeKcSsS
8964 copyright protection197PENANASl2EqXBhVF 維尼
順便將標點符號給進行整理。8964 copyright protection197PENANA2AZj4iiqHk 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANArOZrx1IwKP
8964 copyright protection197PENANAbzW5YXUtaf 維尼
雲晴同學認真的注視著電腦螢幕,那專注的樣子,讓我的視線忍不住的飄向了她的側臉..8964 copyright protection197PENANASLMLUKVAe0 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAKVi0e11sMG
8964 copyright protection197PENANA5u4Fj0uXrV 維尼
果然好美......8964 copyright protection197PENANAhbPlYJ3mDV 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA1grQJw4JL8
8964 copyright protection197PENANA0PsQZrBX2S 維尼
我再次為雲晴同學的長相感到驚嘆,不管看幾次都能讓人如此的入迷。8964 copyright protection197PENANAEScv4cCy5p 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAig17OtSOZv
8964 copyright protection197PENANAnAX43vRONJ 維尼
就像之前想的,雖然不會帶進戀愛感情在裡面,就只是單純的像看到美麗的風景停下來欣賞一般。8964 copyright protection197PENANAcShrtBq0rQ 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAyyepSHGLOm
8964 copyright protection197PENANAG7QM0oWyBr 維尼
細長的睫毛,光滑的皮膚,苗條均勻的身材要說是上天用盡全力所打造的藝術品也不為過。8964 copyright protection197PENANARImpSWuNJK 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANArpEx0wfvNU
8964 copyright protection197PENANAcdGmFgtv8k 維尼
讓人感到訝異可愛的地方就是她喜歡衣服上的涅噗醬這個興趣,剛剛查了一下涅噗醬好像是某部動畫的吉祥物之類的。8964 copyright protection197PENANAxLERzEIA9j 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANALuLybWJ1u0
8964 copyright protection197PENANASe8LQFzeP7 維尼
回到話題,如果學校是社會縮影的話,雲晴同學一定是處在頂端的人。8964 copyright protection197PENANAD6luIX991l 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANALnXgk2kLW3
8964 copyright protection197PENANArPW6glcwDy 維尼
不管是在社交方面還是面容都是頂級的水準。8964 copyright protection197PENANAGn5hBtlaz9 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAAfVhgiZwPt
8964 copyright protection197PENANAutwdygF33C 維尼
而這樣的她竟然就坐在我的旁邊.....8964 copyright protection197PENANA6WRfgqoHmn 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA63BuLSb3OP
8964 copyright protection197PENANAixGikT35KU 維尼
有著輕小說家...這個夢想並持續在努力著..就算受到了打擊也依然持續著的創作….8964 copyright protection197PENANAPuejhmvZGw 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA7ELYICBEtw
8964 copyright protection197PENANA9hhGm516ez 維尼
對曾經逃跑的我來說....極為嘲諷…...這存在的本身就像是在嘲笑我一樣……但對我來說又像是動力…8964 copyright protection197PENANAhLDtot9jdy 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAeeBXYI9lB2
8964 copyright protection197PENANAQs25zsXFNl 維尼
從那一天起我沉寂已久的某種開關又再次開啟,只是缺乏一個操舵手讓它啟動………8964 copyright protection197PENANAPgGVUt0eSV 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANArN8hvHr7fU
8964 copyright protection197PENANA5GmQYHVTdJ 維尼
「月鴻同學怎麼了嗎?有那裡出問題嗎?」8964 copyright protection197PENANAB1GxkYBysK 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANALgXPpD6Z37
8964 copyright protection197PENANAW84PGdiRud 維尼
雲晴同學貌似偷偷的注意到我的視線在她身上,以為是小說那裡有問題。8964 copyright protection197PENANA3xfvpErbGr 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAP2ak4Tf2vK
8964 copyright protection197PENANA86Z0Iuhr32 維尼
「不....只是覺得..雲晴同學果然很漂亮啊….」8964 copyright protection197PENANAeZewZ5ZFFo 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANA2WYQRT3p3f
8964 copyright protection197PENANAKGnrt0reom 維尼
毫無意識..我將心裡想的話給講出來,那保持熱忱又不斷的在向夢想前進的樣子....真的讓我覺得非常的耀眼..8964 copyright protection197PENANAaPgPArUsW9 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANACUJGYyNOIf
8964 copyright protection197PENANAWcMy7NpYyE 維尼
「什......你你你你在突然說什麼阿!」8964 copyright protection197PENANAVYzhqFCkkw 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAVG5ghzq62y
8964 copyright protection197PENANAPg9KeID0xZ 維尼
「不.....沒事抱歉..」8964 copyright protection197PENANApy0fVywLXd 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAiKjcJfjqMA
8964 copyright protection197PENANA0tJTeLDjBr 維尼
雲晴同學在聽了我的話後,臉就像是番茄紅了起來,想必被我這樣當面講她感到十分害羞吧..8964 copyright protection197PENANAC7Nx1w30Ju 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAn2cBtgv3JM
8964 copyright protection197PENANAUR3Ug2lteP 維尼
要是平常的我一定也會焦急的跟她道歉......8964 copyright protection197PENANAwwTA6lL4Jb 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAaJaY0aHB0w
8964 copyright protection197PENANAnotSB5oR0n 維尼
不過我只是搖了搖頭,簡單的跟害羞的她說聲抱歉而已。8964 copyright protection197PENANAwe6nnmEMUD 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAkVdDlKYw3F
8964 copyright protection197PENANAczJ6f0poBU 維尼
無法說出口…..8964 copyright protection197PENANAJhW3jmjoD8 維尼
201Please respect copyright.PENANAegSAQJQ7qq
8964 copyright protection197PENANAFqD0aCtFta 維尼
現在我心裡都是滿滿的對於我自己羞愧...8964 copyright protection197PENANABLUNfp5cYN 維尼
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