Hiding your phone in class isn't as hard as people say, especially when you're in the back corner with annoying kids screaming at the top of their lungs at the front of the room. My sister told me that people mature in the later years of school. She said that her senior year was the easiest, and most quiet out of them all. But for me, I think that if anything it's gotten louder and louder over the years. Like nobody has humbled these kids over the years. Either way, it works to my advantage.
My poor English teacher is too occupied trying to calm down the ones screaming bloody murder in the front that he doesn't even notice my phone behind my book in the corner. For all he knows, I'm just reading "They Both Die at the End" by Adam Silvera. Well, the same page for the past ten minutes. Still not his biggest concern though.
The message stares at me with bright eyes for quite some time. I haven't had someone reach out to me before, or even compliment me on that level. I mean, while people enjoying my art was something I sort of knew before, freaking out over a simple follow-back seems like something you would say if a famous singer were to follow you back, not some artist in SouthEast New York who only has like 500 followers.
That is to say, such a simple message isn't going to boost my ego too much. It is just an offer to collab and make some art together. It's not like I've been invited to travel to space or something. There's no reason to deny the opportunity, there's nothing else going on in my life anyways. Plus, stars have to connect somehow before creating the constellations that everybody knows and loves.
The problem is how to respond. The only time I've reached out to somebody is by e-mailing my teachers about assignments still marked as missing even though I turned them in a week ago. The thought of talking to somebody my own age has rarely ever even crossed my mind. Well at least recently, when I was younger I would never shut up to people. I guess that's what my sister would tell me about. The quiet kids grow loud, and the loud kids grow quiet.
Letters appear and disappear on my screen over and over again. Nothing seems like the right response. Word combinations seem too passive-aggressive, too annoyed, too kind, or too boring. But nothing seems like the picture-perfect response I have in my mind. Do I keep it simple? Bold? Detailed? This is such a simple task that will most likely mean nothing in the future. But there's always a possibility that this could lead to finding the missing stars in my constellation, building on from the little dipper to the big one.
Overthinking is a problem with me. At this point I need to say something before I leave this poor girl on seen for too long. My thumbs meet letters on the little keypad and before my mind can have second thoughts about what I'm saying I send out a simple response.
constelupiter:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKwY46d2LF
It's no problem! Your art is amazing as well. And yes, I'd love to collab with you and your friends :)
The Sierra girl views my message almost immediately. Thoughts of regret flood my mind within seconds, doubting every letter in my mind. Seconds feel like hours, with the three dots signifying that she is typing making the anticipation and regret multiply by ten.
sierrbearr:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeO4KjwuWN
ahh thank you thank you !! i'll add you to the gc now :)
Oh. Didn't think it would go THAT fast. Then again, what else was I expecting? I guess I'm not the best at predicting situations like this. I mean, when WAS the last time I had an actual conversation with somebody my own age.
Within seconds a new group pops up in my inbox, with three other people in it. Sierra and this other person keep changing the name of the group chat between "Art collab :)" being Sierras name and "Crystal Hoes" being the other persons. Their user is emmabbeen. So that makes two of the three. I touch the button that shows the people in the chat, having curiosity fill my blood of who the fourth member is.
Hold up, wait. mollzze???? Mollie !?!?! Are you for real? I'm about to do a collab with somebody whos art I've looked up to for literal YEARS ?!?! Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my-
sierrbearr:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyrfdw3hCX
EM. STOP CHANGING THE NAME.
emmabbeen:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsgWRqjoeu
hehe. nope.
sierrbearr:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlvBX5VPL7
oml100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud0i05rfP7
oh right also this is jupiter !! she's gonna join our art collab !! :D
Okay okay so now I have to not only make a good impression with the people I'm working with but also somebody I've looked up to for ages. Oh my god okay. Be simple, Jupiter, simple. Nothing that can be taken in a bad light.
constelupiter:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYgedgWxDK
Hi :)
Maybe that was a little too boring. Either way, it's not like any of them can take it rudely. I'm just going to leave it at that and be done with it. Sierra and Em start typing, but before the thought of what they might be saying can even cross my mind, the bell rings, meaning the school day is finally over. I quickly shove my book into my bag and rush out from the back corner of that damn english classroom.
While walking down the hallway, my backpack slings off of my shoulder so I can grab my airpods out of the front pocket. The walk home from school to my apartment is already miserable enough without background music. There's just something about being able to listen to people like Taylor Swift, or Ricky Montgomery makes it a little better. There are many options of playlists to choose from on my Spotify account. A small addiction I've created for whenever I'm bored in class. School computers may have blocked literally everything, but somehow they didn't get my saving grace of Spotify.
The safest option by far at the moment is Taylor Swifts discography though, there's always something to enjoy in there. The only issue is you never know what you're going to get. You can go from "White Horse" (Taylor's Version. Always use Taylor's Version) to "ME!" pretty fucking fast.
The first song that comes on is "betty", easily one of my favorites, so that's good I guess. The cool air hits my face the second I step out of the school doors. It's honestly kind of nice though, the school is waaayy too hot for some reasons. The teachers here think that just because the early November air is a little cool that they just HAVE to blast the heat.
The way back home is much prettier at night. The sky is clearly seen, and the way the trees frame the sky is one of the most beautiful sights I've seen in my life. My favorite stargazing spot is actually on the way to school. Sometimes on Fridays or days I have little to no homework I just stay there until the stars reveal themselves and do some random sketches.
That is to say, it is a very pretty walk home regardless. It's just a little longer than what I would prefer after an already long day of school. For example, on days like today I'm already way too exhausted to want to stay in my "Star Spot", as I've named it. My bed is calling to me, and I'm calling to it as well.100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhDP8RoARc
Plus, there's also a want to see what the people in the group chat are saying. I wish I could check now, but there is absolutely no service here. I'm honestly surprised that my messages with Sierra and the other people even went through. I'm sure I could TRY now, but I also don't want any of them to think that I'm leaving them on read or something. Classic over-thinker move, I know.
Every step I have to take to get home, the anticipation grows and grows. Eventually, the familiar steps up to my small house reach up to me. The second the door is opened, my bag falls right next to the frame, and my body makes the final steps over to the grey couch to the right of the entrance. Normally I would force myself to make it to my bedroom, but I genuinely don't think I can make it at the moment.
Quickly, I open up Instagram once again to see what I've missed. Only a few hey's, hello's, welcomes, etc. But the final few messages tie up the conversation to an end.
emmabbeen has changed the group name to "Crystal Hoes"100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpWOc8QJsp
sierrbearr:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf3SHRM1Ia
oh my god. fine. you win. i'm so done right now.100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRMEybRN7D
emmabbeen:100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEFZwyVcZW
YESSS LETS GOOOO !!!!!!!100Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWHfCsCWMp
