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和平當然是最好的。然而，大概也沒有甚麼能比『和平』更損耗士兵們的銳氣。
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伊修巴爾的慘烈過後，東方司令部的各位都盡情地享受着此刻的安寧。
換個方法來說，就是變得鬆懈了，幾乎人人都開始談論起司令部內的各種八卦。
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而最近這週持續掛在人們嘴邊的主角，是這一位——
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「喂，你知道霍克艾少尉嗎？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNLFRyNKSm
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「莉莎．霍克艾少尉嗎？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyaDtTDzlB
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「對、對，『鷹眼』。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjuT6IG43d
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「甚麼！『莉莎』？搞半天原來『鷹眼』是個女的啊？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujDo61VuVg
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「甚麼！搞半天原來妳一直不知道『鷹眼』是個女的啊？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5BnQv55lU
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「誰讓這個別稱聽起來感覺像個男的啊！」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37py0E1qeY
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「她正好姓霍克艾啊！」
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「所以，那個被馬斯丹中校選中作副官的美女就是『鷹眼』嗎？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgtPRp04dt
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「不是吧？連你也不知道嗎？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7mCwvV4Pj
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「我是知道『鷹眼』半年前來到東方司令部，也知道馬斯丹中校半年前選定副官，可我一直不知道原來是同一個人。」
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「……」
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「真搞不懂你們男人的審美，跟那種兇狠的女人相比，不是選像我這樣的比較好嗎？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWPHz33df2
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「平心而論，少尉也就神情比較嚴肅吧？工作水平可是一流哦。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrVlZDiG9b
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「連妳也站在她那邊嗎?!」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyO8Vo8cu1
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「反正妳只是不忿中校的副官是她而不是妳自己吧？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZqAAuyDA9
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「要是我再早兩期進軍校，就能搶在那個女人之前，像中校這麼有眼光的男人，一定會選我，然後來個日久生情，接下來只要等着當上馬斯…」
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「動機不純…」幾個人默契地忽視正在花癡的友人，順着樓梯的拐彎向着樓下的飯堂前進。
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「唔…！」在國內某地區有種說法『白天勿議人，入夜莫論鬼』，一般說着誰的壞話，那個人就會碰巧出現，「霍克艾少尉！」
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迎面而來的莉莎．霍克艾少尉察覺到有人喊住自己，抬頭一看是幾個下級軍官向自己敬禮。她停下來舉手回禮，繼續往上走。
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「那女人怎麼了？咬牙切齒地瞪着我們。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcTattP5GC
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「該不會是妳剛才說的話被她聽到了吧？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KFvvg7MvN
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「我猜應該不是。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBpdeyGx0F
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「妳怎麼知道？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOs2d7SaE11
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「我試過有一次在飯堂很不巧地坐在少尉和正在說她的壞話的人之間，那些人把話說得比妳剛才不堪得多，可少尉還是一臉淡定的。我猜她不是聽不到就是不在意吧？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9pkbxoNDm
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「所以她是針對我嘍？不然妳要怎麼解釋她剛才的表情？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsgUEqPumf
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「少尉不就咬了一下唇嗎？是妳把她妖魔化了才看成咬牙切齒吧？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqJ3R7axAt
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「說不定少尉只是在回味剛才的午餐呢～」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmevE95sof
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「你是認真的嗎？飯堂的午餐還能讓人回味？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCVyGK71JV
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「我就隨便說說。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3QYXkSmMA
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「「「「虧你還說得出口。」」」」
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「不過最近少尉的表情確實很陰沉呢。」
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一段閒聊加上一群閒得要命的人，這就是，一切的開端。
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根據與司令部附屬靶場的負責人兼教練大叔聊天時獲得的情報加以總結，霍克艾少尉最近一個月差不多每天的執勤時間過後都會額外再申請兩三個小時，繼續留下來練槍；
不過最近素有「鷹眼」之稱的少尉似乎是遇上了甚麼不愉快的事情，心情好像很煩躁，以致表現有點失準。
雖然她的失準成績對其他人而言也難以超越就是了。
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據說霍克艾少尉最近心情不佳，略顯煩躁。
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男兵說，那不就是生理期嘛，我家的他家的誰家的姐姐妹妹女朋友未婚妻老婆老媽也是這樣啊，沒甚麼特別吧？
有女兵意義不明地反駁：一個月一次的叫生理期，一次一個月的，那叫更年期。
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靶場的槍聲和這場小八卦都仍未間斷。
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霍克艾少尉的好友，蕾貝卡．卡塔尼那准尉的證言如下：
「莉莎嗎？唔…最近似乎胃口不怎麼好呢…基本就只肯喝點湯，我本來以為是她終於發現飯堂的菜多難吃，便帶她到外面的餐廳去，結果都是一樣，而且整天悶悶不樂的，好幾次問她到底怎麼了她都不說，啊！好像最近的話也變少了，難道是…失戀了？不過莉莎好像沒拍過拖，也不像是有心儀的對象吧？有的話應該是絕對逃不過我的法眼呀！唔…但是我也不肯定啦，她對這種話題總是提不起興趣的，所以這方面也沒怎麼交流，一般都只有我自己一個不斷說不斷說，搞得我一個好像對着石像自言自語的瘋子一樣，我跟你說呀…」
以下省略接近十五分鐘的對話內容。
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於是，感情問題的可能性基本上被大家排除了，同時有一撮男兵偷偷記下來。
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莉莎．霍克艾少尉，單身。
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據說愛情可以軟化任何一個女人的心，但是誰也沒敢出手。
一來是怕了少尉的子彈，
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二來嘛…自從馬斯丹中校到東方司令部履新開始，東方司令部內服役的軍官兵士們，分手率呈幾何級數般飆升；
而少尉可是『那個馬斯丹中校』的美女副官啊，誰知道那兩個人有沒有甚麼不可告人的關係，誰敢動她啊？
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成功了倒還好；
萬一失敗了的話，說不定從此以後就可以放棄異性戀了。
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「霍克艾少尉最近有甚麼煩惱？…請等等，我只是記憶力比較好，可不是甚麼私家偵探或者跟踪狂或者癡漢，況且我跟少尉姑且只是初識的同僚，那種事情我是不可能知道的吧？」經過提問者一番美化解釋後，巴托．法爾曼上士如是說：「少尉最近都不怎麼說話，倒是很常瞪人，我兩次、布萊達准尉五次、哈博克准尉十七次、馬斯丹中校四十三次，這是過去三天我在辦公室觀察到的數字，不過這三天我都只有下午執勤，僅供參考吧。」
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據說霍克艾少尉最近心情不好的原因，可能跟工作有關，而且極大機會是因為馬斯丹中校的緣故。
…咦？怎麼又是馬斯丹中校？
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綜合所有人所見，中校的工作態度確實很懈怠，
順着這個思路的話，作為副官的少尉應該是承擔了頗大部分的工作量才能讓中校維持現在的業績表現。98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFjyHAtZeV
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『少尉真是辛苦了』，沒有誰會不認同。
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「霍克艾少尉？」被攔住的通訊部新星，凱恩．菲利中士這麼說，「唔…少尉最近確實經常來通訊部找我，馬斯丹中校那邊的電話輪流地故障，是因為最近天氣潮濕嗎？…果然還是設備老化吧？98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sKZ8EfDxs
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「嗯？少尉本人嗎？也沒有傳聞中那麼可怕吧？挺親切的啊。嚴厲的話…對着中校時，少尉似乎會變得稍為有點嚴厲吧，畢竟工作上的事情本來就應該認真看待…98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pK6J1Euce
「啊…抱歉！可以讓我回去了嗎？我還有工作…」
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話說，讓一個尉級軍官當跑腿，好像有點太屈材了吧？人家好歹也是戰場上的『鷹眼』呀！
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據說像少尉這種戰績彪炳得被取了個綽號的軍人，一般都頗為心高氣傲。
唔…這也難免啦。
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當副官也就算了，工作業務居然是跑腿。
雖然使喚她的人本身也有着『伊修巴爾的英雄』這樣的稱號，但也太那個了吧…
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也難免會讓人聯想到職權打壓…
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「我就老實說吧，我不清楚，」海曼斯．布萊達准尉把三文治塞進嘴裏，不耐煩的回應中混雜着咀嚼的聲音，「再說，就算我知道，也沒有義務告訴你們。」
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話雖如此，旁邊的約翰．哈博克准尉倒是熱心地提供了很多資訊。
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「少尉？應該是最近加班太多了吧？」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mdl4Bc6SC
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「中校？跟少尉一起加班發生了甚麼？哈！別想太多了，基本上少尉每三次晚上加班，中校就溜出去約會三次。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInWl4mYFwl
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「對、對，我們都碰到過好幾次了，他還威脅我們說不準告訴少尉。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9OePrPsli
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「他跟少尉說是公事外出吧，不過少尉也不是傻瓜，中校是太小看了所謂『女人的直覺』了。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOKV4Csqbj
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「少尉也是慘的，跟着這樣一個上司，唯一的發洩途徑只有靶場，所以我們不會多說甚麼，中校也不敢多說些甚麼。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0uWCV0YH5
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「說起靶場和槍，少尉最近督促中校工作的方式是撫着配槍瞪着他，差不多忍無可忍了吧。」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5cTNlV2in
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「……」98Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U2RxFjXze
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「……」
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據說…都到這種程度了，已經不是「據說」這麼簡單，分明就是有些甚麼發生了，而且極大機會是跟羅伊．馬斯丹中校有非常密切的關係。
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話說回來，哈博克准尉到底是為了甚麼而一直跟着馬斯丹中校的？
說起上司的壞話來根本是一個勁地往死裏黑，完全停不下來。
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這樣的傳言繼續發酵了一週多，但無論再怎樣演變，大家都已經認定了，是羅伊．馬斯丹中校的錯。
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而無故被眾人矛頭直指的羅伊．馬斯丹中校倒是一如既往地淡定，
反正他從來都是眾矢之的，對這種『都怪馬斯丹中校，……才會……』的句式早就習慣了。
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何況，造成那位少尉小姐最近一系列異常表現的原因，他基本是心中有數，
而且，
那個原因，
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絕對
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與他毫無關聯。
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所以他今天依舊是準點步入辦公室，一秒鐘也不差。
辦公室裏只有他副官一人埋首於公文堆中，看來其他人都去避難了。
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這樣正好。
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「少尉？」
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霍克艾抬頭看向他，又看看牆上的掛鐘。
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「早安。」敬語被省略了。
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本來她就少話，現在根本就是到了惜字如金的地步，再配上那副儼如面對着仇敵般的神情，也難怪司令部人人自危。
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「沒猜對的話我先道歉，」馬斯丹中校從手上的文件夾中抽出一張病假單，放到他副官的桌面，「不過，霍克艾少尉妳，好像也差不多到了會長智齒的年紀了吧？」
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霍克艾沒有回答他的提問，只是抬起手按住她自己的右頰，躲開他的眼神。
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「很好，看來是猜對了呢。」他又從褲袋掏出一張名片，「我相熟的牙醫，已經替妳預約好了，明天下午妳去檢查一下吧。」
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霍克艾趕緊拿起桌上的病假單仔細一看，請假的理由、日期時間，甚至上司許可的欄位都已經填好了，只欠她一個簽名。
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「所以，不要再繃着臉了，司令部最新的傳謠說妳不堪工作壓力，密謀發動一起屠殺式槍擊案啊，這樣我會很困擾的。」
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霍克艾也知道自己最近的臉色不怎麼好看，但沒想到居然嚴重到這個地步，還是說那個男人在作弄她？
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不過工作壓力確實是，
不！
小！
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「…抱歉…」一碼歸一碼，這次真的被他說中了，似乎也確實給他帶來不少麻煩，而且他還順便幫她解決了她的煩惱，「謝謝…」
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「不用謝。」他也不知道自己是喜歡，抑或是有點懷念很久以前那種沒有尊卑之分的相處模式，於是斷句就在敬語之前。
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嘛，其實早就應該讓她去看牙醫了，但最近都在忙着聯合軍演的事，一直找不到機會，才會等到現在。
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唔…這也不能全怪他呀，誰讓布里古茲那邊不斷地各種催促，
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事前的統籌工作他要管，
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事後的檢討報告也要他做…
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嗯…都怪那位少將大人，
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對…是少將大人的錯，
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還有中將，
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唔…
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絕對不是他的疏忽大意…
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- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
關愛霍克艾少尉的閒暇活動持續到第三週，就在少尉請了病假的某個下午以後漸漸淡出司令部的茶餘飯後；
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少尉也回復到之前的狀態，雖說少尉本來的狀態也是足夠的凶…
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不！
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嚴肅！
是嚴肅！
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然後，像這則流言一時掩蓋了上一場小騷亂一樣，下一個據說又把這一次的小八卦擠下去了。
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據說……
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「據說羅伊．馬斯丹中校打算招攬凱恩．菲利中士，我也是聽其他人說的啦，你們可別隨便到處說啊。」
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因為我自己是大三(？)左右才開始長智齒，所以至少年齡上是說得過去的，而且中尉家小時候吃的應該也不太夠營養？
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算是比較走詼諧路線的一篇吧
ns3.12.123.254da2
