The rain seemed to be the only thing which comforted Adrien Auclair, with its tiny, soft pats on his wet clothes. He sipped his wine, mixed with rain. and enjoyed the slight sting it accompanied as he let the yellow liquid flow down his throat. He shouldn't be out here. He should be in there partying, dancing, joking and laughing. He shouldn't be out on the balcony, bathing in the rain. But he couldn't help it. So much was on his mind. Or maybe someonewas on his mind. Besides, he hated that 'fun' facade anyway. It was just a mask. A pretense to make sure he doesn't get hurt. But it's all a waste anyway, since he already got hurt.
He burst out laughing abruptly and ran a hand through his wet, black hair. If only that idiot could read his mind. If he could just explain everything to the blonde, in hopes that the man would take him back. He highly doubted it though. What's done is done. The past is the past. It cannot be changed. Therefore, Adrien decided to 'drink himself into oblivion or much hopefully death'.
* * *
Christopher Chantelle was unimpressed, bored, distracted, heart-broken maybe, disappointed, annoyed and disappointed again. What was he even doing here anyway? Ah right, his mother decided to drag him to another ball. The engagement party of his cousin, he vaguely remembered his mother saying.
He sighed. Two months. It's been two months since Adrien broke it off with him. He couldn't get that pretty face out of his head. Those silver, miserable eyes that held so much emotion in them. If it pained Adrien to break it off with him, then why end it in the first place? Christopher had no clue. The first few weeks he spent by banging on Adrien's door but received no response from the other man. He was tempted to break into the house but that did not seem a wise decision. He spent the rest of the next two months in shock and tears. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. His heart was shattered to pieces. Then rage had consumed him and he started throwing things around in his room and breaking them.
How could he? How DARE he? All those promises, were they nothing? He just ends it all? With no reason?
His sinking thoughts were cut off by a gloved hand offered at him. He looked up to see his sister, looking gorgeous in a red dress.
"Dance with me? This party is a bore," she said, smiling down at him. "I also need to speak with you."
"Of course," Christopher replied, smiling back. Christopher took her hand and led her to the dance floor. The orchestra started playing a tune he could not identify. If Adrien was here with him they would be laughing together about how ridiculous the song sounds and joke about it. But he's not here, Christopher reminded himself gloomily. He and his sister twirled, dipped and danced in silence, until his sister decided to break it.
"I wanted to talk to you about Adrien," she said, looking at him with blank eyes.
A muscle in his jaw twitched. "What about that prick?" he asked roughly, glaring down at his sister.
His sister glared back at him. "Stop glaring at me. I'm trying to help you for God's sake!" Christopher huffed and rolled his eyes.
"You? Helping me? What an unpleasant surprise."
"Christopher I swear-" She cut herself off with a deep exhale. "I will tell you what I need to tell, don't mess with my head you twat." She breathed in. "Don't blame Adrien for ending it with you. He has his reasons. One night, I was in our library at home, reading a book because I could not sleep. Then I heard footsteps heading to the drawing room and I wondered who would be there at this ungodly hour. I sneaked and saw our father and Adrien talking."
Christopher tensed but kept gliding through the dance floor with his sister. It was no secret to anyone that they had a horrible relationship with their father.
But what on earth was Adrien doing with his father?
"I heard father say something about Adrien being with you was wrong and would ruin our family's reputation. This must have something to do with Adrien breaking it off with you suddenly."
Christopher's fists clenched tightly and he dug his nails into his palm to control his fury. He had stopped dancing by now and was dragging his sister to another room. Once they entered an empty room, he locked the door and turned around to face his sister.
"Brother," she said, looking anxious, "I think you must talk to Adrien. I believe he did not want to break your heart."
"I know that! What I do not understand is why you would wait this long to tell me this!"
"I had no choice! There was a risk of us being heard and if father knows, then everything will go wrong. It is why I waited until this ball, so I could tell you this."
He felt lost. How does this help him? What does he do now?
"Brother," his sister said, "Go talk to Adrien. I can see that you are suffering without him. I saw him on the balcony. First talk with him and we will figure out the rest. Whatever you stand for, I'll be there with you and so will our mother."
"I- Thank you," he blurted out, not knowing what to say. And he immediately turned around and headed for the balcony.
* * *
Adrien leaned against the railing and sunk into the feeling of the small droplets hitting his skin comfortingly. But the cold rain was not enough to smother the flaming pain in his heart. He wanted one person but that person can't be his. He had to do it. He had to save his brother. He had no choice. He wished he could just tell everything to Christopher. The wine in his body made his eyes blurry and unaware of the tall figure heading towards him, in large strides.
"Adrien?" a voice called.
"Hmmmm," Adrien hummed, slightly drunk, "you sound familiar. VERY familiar."
Adrien titled his head forward and stared at the man. "Hell, you lookfamiliar too."
The figure let out a breathless chuckle. "You're drunk as a boiled owl aren't you?"
"Why would you boil an owl?" Adrien yelled in alarm.
Adrien's vision was fuzzy but he had a feeling the stranger was rolling their eyes. The stranger replied, "It is just an expression idiot."
"Oh," Adrien said dumbly. That alcohol was really getting into his head.
"What are you doing out in the rain?" the stranger asked.
"Thinking," he answered.
"About what?" the stranger questioned. Adrien leaned back on the railing and threw his head back, letting the water drip down his forehead. He felt the stranger join him on the railing. He wanted to tell everything. He couldn't care if the person judged him. He just wanted to tell someone his feelings, his thoughts. He wanted someone to know and understand.
To hell with it, he thought.
"I, um, I've- I've been thinking of something. Someoneactually," he started. The stranger hummed to show that they were listening. "It's just. I fell in love with that someone. Good thing for me, he loved me back. All those years of pining after him and hopelessly in love, it was worth it. And yes, you heard me right. Him.Anyway, I felt so happy once he accepted me. I've never felt the way I felt with him. He made me laugh and seeing him sad, made me want to kill someone and cry with him at the same time. He confused me but it was a good confusion. It was amazing! We spent our days happily and everything was going well. My little brother adored him. His sister and his mother, both were lovely women, and thank the lords above, they were fine with our relationship. And then came the disaster. I knew things were going -too- well. The world was always against me. I've always known it."
"What happened?" the stranger asked. It confused Adrien because the stranger sounded tense. But he did not dwell too much on it.
"Well," he continued. "His father invited me for tea. He- He told me that what I was doing with his son was- was wrong? And what we're doing w-was a mistake? It hurt me, you know. That man was a god damned stranger to me but it still hurt. Is it so wrong to feel comfortable with ourselves? To be confident of ourselves? To embrace our trueidentity? To not pretend to be someone who you're not? Well according to that bloody weasel, it was wrong! Do you know what that man did?"
Adrien was yelling at this point but why the hell should he care?
"He threatened to kill my little brother! And what could I do? The man was of higher status and I was powerless against him. Of course I had to break it off with Christopher! I had no choice! And oh Gods! Christopher! He looked at me with so much pain, I just felt so horrible and disgusting. Then he looked at me with so much hate. I wished I could crawl out of my body and not be the person he’s staring so hatefully at. I would do anything to make him happy and make him smile. I wanted to erase the pain off his face but I couldn't. I do not regret my decision though. I love my brother and I promised my mother to take good care of him."
Adrien suddenly broke down sobbing and sank to the floor. He couldn't care what the stranger thinks of how pathetic he was being. All he wanted was to love his Christopher but he can't have that.
"I would walk through hell for that man," he whispered. "I love him. I really do. I love him so much. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. My life makes no sense if he's not in it."
Adrien wiped his tears away but new ones soon replaced them and dripped down his red flushed cheeks. “You know,” he said, “Christopher always calls me eclair because my last name is Auclair and I used to get so mad at him and chase him around. And he sometimes calls me ‘raven’ too, because of my black hair. He’s just a mystery don’t you think? A gorgeous mystery. Oh my God, I don’t know why I’m telling all this. I just- I don’t know anymore.”
Adrien choked on what sounded like a cry and a laugh. He stood up suddenly but his head spun from the sudden movement. He wobbled dangerously but the stranger looped a strong arm around his waist and pulled the man flush against his chest. Adrien blushed and looked up, his vision slightly clearer. He could make out that the stranger was a man.
“Careful raven,” the man said, worriedly.
Adrien snorted and said, “I’m always careful. And don’t call me raven. Only one man in this world is allowed to call me that.” Adrien stared at the man’s face while leaning his head against the man’s shoulder. Blond hair. Hazel green eyes. “You want to know something funny? You look awfully similar to my Christopher. Wait, no, not myChristopher. Not anymore.”
The stranger looked like he wanted to shake the living daylights out of him. “He will alwaysbe your Christopher,” the man whispered. Adrien gazed at the stranger. “And how do you know that?” he demanded. The stranger scoffed. “Because your drunk arse can’t realize that the reason I look awfully similar to your Christopher is because I amChristopher. And don’t bother asking if you’re hallucinating. You’re not.”
gay
lgbtq+
rain
london
dancing
wine
kissing
gaaaaay
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