“Alfred,” Batman said, “I need to think about what’s been going on recently. I’m going to Cinnabon.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXGWvrVZY0
“Yes sir, very good.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNTNAGsU8n
Batman gets in the Batmobile and activates Ludicrous speed, and ends up at Cinnabon in Omaha Nebraska. He walks up to the counter to order his cinnabon food.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhFWtHiLpI
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Says a bored gray wolf from behind the counter.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTJUdzocc4
“I would like a cinnamon roll, please.” Batman says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECcaWpVlXJ
“Sorry, we don’t sell cinnamon rolls anymore.” Legoshi says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfomtMUBvDb
“What the hell do you mean!” Batman yells, “This is a Cinnabon!”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQ35GwXp5Y
“Sir, please calm down.”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQsvN0YV6P
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm80hJrhsS
“Calm down? Do you know who I am?!? I’m the goddamn Batman! I want to speak to your manager.”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnjAEV8aSr
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvw3O7MKv8
Legoshi sighs.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o1FYHX5CP
“Gene,” he calls, “there’s an unhappy customer who wants to see you.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbauKFnJRT
“Hi, I’m Gene Takovic,” Gene says, walking through the door, “did you know you don’t have rights? Well, the Cinnabon terms of service says you don’t.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb5YTVGTWM
“I want a Cinnabon! And I want it now!” Yells Batman
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuJmN3IwKz
“Why don’t we go speak over there, Mr. Man,” Gene says and points to a restaurant on the other side of the mall called Cooper’s Bar.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYV2InaKIh
Batman and Gene walk over to Cooper’s Bar and sit down.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP1F0kvm8Z
“Now you see,” Gene says, “Cooper’s Bar has almost put us out of business. We don’t have any money to make cinnamon rolls anymore.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLF6IPD3EI
Suddenly an angry blonde woman walks in.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A7IDmUMUv
“Oh no…” Gene says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQndLZPxaym
“What, who is she?” Batman says, “is she a villain?
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFY1LA0S1S
“Worse." Gene says, “My ex-wife Kim Sexler, biggest dick in Hollywood.”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtAsY1QNO9
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeJQ1CXfuM
“WHERE IS AMY SCHUMER YOU BASTARD???” Kim screams and then drop kicks a three year old child.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtKJgEJ7kE
Batman stands up.533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3Tzxppsfj
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuaJXE6Cr0
“I will not stand for this abuse and violence against children!” He yells, “You’re going straight to Arkham Asylum.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53R50cd3km
Kim looks deep into Batman’s soul and for five minutes she stares at him in complete silence, unblinking.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDEj5YrAQJ
“Ok.” she finally says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDsmipLeGK
Batman is so intimidated he runs away and gets in a taxi cab because he forgot the keys to the batmobile.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zY2Oypzlu
“Take me to the nearest Cinnabon.” Batman says, still hungry for a cinnamon roll.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntM4tm4Rdq
The driver starts driving, and Batman sits back and relaxes. He starts looking out the window, when something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He has a sticker in the front with Gotham, New Jersey written on it, and realizes he recognizes the driver as a passerby after his parents’ murder.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKaCtaOJaq
Batman starts sweating. Is it possible he could see through his disguise? No, surely not! He must trust in his disguise.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rHydUF7V0
Suddenly the taxi driver turned around, and Batman quickly jumped out the window of the moving car to defuse the situation.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUb7l68nFew
He walked up to a man standing around with a baseball bat.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9faAhUSXV
“Sir,” Batman says, “do you know where a billionaire CEO vigilante who dresses up like a bat could go to get a cinnamon roll around here?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6h2LWhqmP
“Yes, I know of a place exactly like you speak of,” the man says and points to a huge tall building in the sky, “It’s called the Citadel, but no one can get to it.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsy9bnqcHMu
“And why is that?”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgb7zGUuGfA
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxVWBbMFcO
“Because Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, is keeping it from us, and even I, Rick Grimes, have no hope of defeating her.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXe01KAvFg
Rick looked at his baseball bat.
“This was the baseball bat of my best friend, Mae Borowski. She died trying to get that cinnamon roll…”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82H6ZNwzOd
“I know how it feels to lose someone close to you.” Batman says, remembering how he lost his teddy bear Cletus in the movie theater before his parents were murdered.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypx02O58a1
Batman put his hand on Rick’s shoulder.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRbVqTAcBG
“I will help you find the cinnamon roll, and then we will eat it. Together.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHiKOwSBBU
Batman and Rick began their journey to the famed cinnamon roll, killing the zombies of people who have been deprived of cinnamon rolls too long.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ELFFGhE8L
Suddenly a man who neither Batman nor Rick had ever seen before ran up to them.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkdzZaLoWz
“Hey, Batman!” He yelled excitedly, “remember me?”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99MCzryMLV
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2ySHqxMcV
“What, no,” Batman says, “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“From the taxi cab earlier, remember?” he said, disappointed.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTX7Wh3Eps
“No, the guy from the taxi cab looked way different and scarier. You look like you probably use 4chan.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3yyHwpMXc
He crossed his arms.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBwlWw0dP7
“My name Jeff,” Jeff says, “and you will take me with you.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm2ICA9ycB
“Fine whatever but you’re stupid.” Batman says, and Batman, Jeff, and Rick finally reach the Citadel and spend 10 hours going up elevators when the elevator stops. The door opens into a small chamber and they walk in, and Rick’s bat and Batman’s batarangs and Jeff’s taxi keys are pulled away from them.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTvGFVo7jn
Lightning shot out of the walls and struck their weapons, and they began to glow blue. They picked up their weapons and the door opened up to reveal an army of Amy Schumer clones, all screaming terrible jokes about men as loud as they could.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYUhZHJfDK
Rick Grimes looked at his bat, and remembered the last time he came here. He remembered seeing Mae ripped apart by Amy Schumer right in front of his eyes. He slowly looked up and Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar began playing over speakers on loop.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf19cNsSn0
“This time…it’s personal.” He says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQhnEz0B30
They rush into combat, all fighting valiantly. Jeff slices through Amy clones effortlessly with his key, Batman’s batarang becomes an Amy Schumer seeking weapon of destruction, and Rick obliterates each clone who attacks him with a single blow from his bat. They quickly begin making their way through the massive crowd.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ggygOiuS5
“Don’t Look Up is the name of the movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun!” Screams one of the Schumers and punches Batman in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Jeff tries to stab her but she yells “My husband goes down on me, or as he calls it Squid Game, so he’s in my Nightmare Alley, my House of Gucci, I say C’mon C’mon, he goes tick tick BOOM, he Belfast. I say get off my Dune and that’s how our son was born.” and Jeff is so shocked at how horrible what he just heard is that he drops his key and starts crying.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJXSRq7kib
“Impossible, it can’t be!” Rick yells, “It’s the real Amy Schumer!”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9nhdKxizz
“Then the only way we can beat her,” Jeff says, “is by telling a joke so great she can’t possibly go on!”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhVKB67JtX
“Knock knock!” Yells Batman.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j6Z3z1QeX
“Who’s there?” Says Amy Schumer.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYasmfHjayn
“Doctor.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbbkXbhByw
Amy grins psychotically, like a murderer stalking their victim.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6W3vO99TNH
“Oh, that’s alright!” She yells, “We don’t need a doctor, the ambulance already showed up!”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LRpPq6FFx
Batman and Jeff scream in agony at how quickly and terribly she defused his joke.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXS65I606x0
Rick had other plans. Suddenly they felt the temperature drop from 90 degrees to 76 degrees, and Amy Schumer’s smile faded.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oKYznoi4O
“No! Not 76 degrees, anything but that!” Amy yelled, “The optimal temperature for comedic timing!”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKDFpcM81b
Rick stands 50-80 centimeters from her and raises one of his arms straight upward at a fifteen degree angle from his body, setting up all the conditions perfectly for ideal humor.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegeaMLeU63
Amy screeches louder than any human ever has before while Rick states and spells his name, provides a brief synopsis of the joke including the specific times she’ll laugh, and spells out his name a second time.
“Knock knock.” Rick says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaceYOl9GHa
“Wh-who’s there?”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZnJaybnyL
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6FBIFDL9u
“Banana.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUTbmgmumw
“Banano who?”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSteaWhF2DK
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fSFAl5YEx
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGKxV1w6x8
“Banana.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPC5A0xbi2
“Banano who?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vUKp9dUTw
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJB3G0aLH2
“Banana.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUNVhHGCOu
“Banano who?”
“Orange.”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3Q1gwrH95
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU9WDhTjAv
“Orange who?”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzArem7PsW
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cOBnHmmeN
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMK4Z7i3p2
Amy’s heart stops, and she falls to the ground dead as Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar finally stops.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQ7rtjtA4c
“I’m doney,” Rick says, “with the funny.”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dxALvIqpZ
They all look at each other, and nod their heads in agreement, and wade through the corpses of Amy Schumer to the huge metal door.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGMP5secSU
Suddenly it opens into a huge room with Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, standing in the middle, and at the end the final cinnamon roll.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhl2TCJzdJ
“So, you three killed Amy Schumer?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9tvFzMhwu
“Y-yes.” Batman says, already feeling intimidated again.
“...Ok.” Kim says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdTeMRmljM
All three of them almost start crying out of fear, but keep themselves composed.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOebxd8Ymx
They each begin attacking from different angles, but she expertly dodges each hit.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcSuXlOJHc
Finally, Rick’s bat connects with her torso but the bat explodes, throwing Rick back.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGMNI8mwDc
“H-how?” He asks.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS32UhJdpW
“Nanomachines, son.” Kim says with a smirk and then breaks his back, killing him.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45MbRAaic7
“NO!” Jeff yells and rushes at her.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFNnwifDXZ
Without even a thought Kim hits him over the head with a cup that says “World’s 2nd Best TV Executive” and Jeff slips and hits his head and dies.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRkWOvH1KS
Recognizing he has no chance of ever winning, Batman quickly shuffles back away from her in terror, when he remembers what his Uncle Ben told him all those years ago.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxptW892YKN
“Memes, Bruce.” Ben said, “Memes are the DNA of the soul. With great power comes great responsibility. When life gives you lemons, burn life’s house down! Do you know who ate all the donuts?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEfumblE0R
Inspired by his Uncle’s wise words, he was able to catch Kim Sexler’s attack.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcQkSxsevN
They exchanged punches so quickly that it was impossible for the naked eye to detect, each tanking every single blow. Batman knew what he must do to defeat Kim and finally get that cinnamon roll, he must break his one and only rule. Batman takes out a Desert Eagle and shoots Kim through the face.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRBl4Q1hvO
“I, I….” Kim says, struggling to stay alive, “this is…chicanery.” And then she drops dead.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYIBH6lgjv
Finally, nothing stood between Batman and his cinnamon roll. All this work, all this violence, all this bloodshed, this is what it was for. He slowly walked towards it, chills going down his spine just thinking about it.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSWNgYEKwv
"I'm sorry we couldn't eat it together like I wanted, Rick," Batman says, "but I will eat it for the both of us."
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PGZxS3iq3
Suddenly Legoshi picked up the cinnamon roll and ate it.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjXEcLfptF
“WHAT?” Screamed Batman.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGeq7ofoE5
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Legoshi says.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeVCRcjjQU
“P-please,” Batman says, “I just want a cinnamon roll.”533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HWLAqOg7r
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9BWLo71Uq
“Sir, I already told you we’re out of cinnamon rolls. Do I need to call my manager again?”
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvCqalav7E
Batman slowly fell to his knees and then onto his side, and began crying on the floor.
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvCBrbZt95
THE END.
ns216.73.216.82da2
