Annita Zuka was the first born at home. She was born in South KwaZulu-Natal at Kings Edward hospital. The day she was born her father cried tears and it's not everyday you see an African man shed tears of joy or be emotional in public. Her father named her Annita. "My little Annita, my pride and joy" he would say. As she grew, she was daddy's little girl. She enjoyed spending time with her father and everything her father did she would imitate. Her father's family wanted a boy and were adamant she was going to be a boy when her mother was pregnant. When they heard the news that the baby her mother was carrying was a girl they started to make harsh comments toward her mother. In their African homestead, the first born child to be seen as golden child and be well received had to be a male.
"Don't worry about what they are saying Nala, my love. You are my wife and you are carrying my seed. It does not matter whether this child is male or female. It will be our child. To hell with what my family thinks; we are starting our own family now" her father would say consoling her mother.
He remained a supportive husband and good father to them. Nala would constantly receive insults from her husband's family but he remained on his wife's side and gave her full support. 3 years after Annita was born, Nala fell pregnant again but this time it was a boy. Her husband was ecstatic. He would finally have an heir to carry on his family name. However, the insults from her husband's family never stopped. She had finally given them a boy child yet they weren't satisfied. What exactly did she need to do to satisfy them?
"Adam I don't think I will ever be able to please your family. That breaks my heart" she would cry. And Adam would reassure her all would be well because she has nothing to prove to them.
Annita growing up was a quiet child. She always kept to herself and had an inquisitive mind. She struggled to make friends but with the few people she opened up to, she was close with. She was a smart learner at school, always amongst the top learners who grabbed concepts quickly and were eager for school. Primary school all the way to high school she always had an excellent grade average all while including herself in school extracurricular activities. She was never the prettiest girl in the party so that made her feel insecure about herself. She didn't think she was beautiful and was told so by classmates and individuals. Her insecurities grew deeper and deeper in high school when she entered her teenage phases. Her face was blotchy and filled with acne and she never ever was content with her looks. In grade 11, she managed to convince herself that she was overweight and everytime she'd look in the mirror she'd see an overweight person who needed to lose weight. That's when she was introduced to eating disorders and body dismorphia. By the time she was in grade 12, she was nothing more but a burnt out smart kid who saw less of herself and was ridden with anxiety. Never in her life did she think she'd ever become that. She managed to get through grade 12 and get her certificate but what was next?
That certificate gave a world of possibilities. She could be a teacher or an airplane engineer. She could travel the world or because a social worker and help those in need in her community. There would be no more high school bullies and mean girls. No more homework and projects. No more friend group cliques. She was going out into the real world and she could be whatever she wants. She had applied at different universities across the country and was using university as a safety net when really all she wanted to do was explore options since she had great freedom to. Many of the universities she applied to replied to her and offered her a place to study.
In her head she wondered if she was making a mistake by going to study toward a Bachelors degree at university when she could drop the idea of a structured life and live a spontaneous and structure less life. She had always chosen the safe option even as a child. She never was wild. She rethought that university was perfect for her. She could meet new people there who could show her different sides of life.
She was actually about to live life. It all depended on her. The making of friends, going out, having fun, finding a boyfriend. It was all hers to decide. As much as she was excited she was nervous. She'd have to leave home and being the first person in the family to go to university, everybody would be looking at her and hoping she succeeds. She had to make her parents proud and let it be known in the community that the house of Adam and Nala has a graduate so her mother can brag to her friends on the bus to work, and her dad could tell his work friends that his daughter will be a graduate in years to come. Annita ended up picking the University of Pietermaritzburg. She was going to enroll for a Bachelor of Science in Agriculture course. Pietermaritzburg was perfect. It was not too far from home, just approximately 85 km from home, Lufolozi a village situated in the outskirts of Durban city.
She was ready to start her life. She was ready to be her own person.
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